Mother’s Gift Now



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Old days.. days that i remember.. i must say..
so much is missing from school days..
as i really loved being part of a
flesh and blood group whether
or not i was everyone’s
favorite person or
not.. i remember
the Land
on the river
front from the time
i was so small at age 3 and
above.. yes.. last name was
Land.. there were a whole bunch of
them who played together from break
of dawn to end of sunset thru night and
it was just me and my sister and mother
and my grandmother and i am having a little
trouble now as my mother is sick and she refuses
to go the doctor not unlike me when i almost died in
2008 as i was terrified of Doctors and didn’t go to one in
23 years as they almost put me away for good in ’81 and
i was always afraid i might really be crazy as i had these out
of control emotional feelings and anxiety that overwhelmed me so much
that i just wanted to escape like i did in Middle School and stay on Summer
Vacation forever just me and my dog and family at home so no one would be
mean to me then.. and that’s the thing.. when you are outcast.. your pet and immediate
family means everything.. and my father never seemed like he liked me very much as he
never had anything to say..
but i finally
as that
was where
the part of the
Asperger’s Syndrome came
from and when he died and i wrote
a lot about it.. no one offered any kind
wishes to me then.. so i knew how alone
online was then.. and yes that was before
i met the Rafiah online.. who was the first
real person who was kind to me back then
in the Summer of 2014.. as i spent years on
the ‘Wrong Planet’ where people didn’t have
any feelings expressed for other people at
all.. like mechanical parts in machines
and for me it wasn’t hard to tell
people i cared about them..
it was just how it came
out that made
me seem
to them then.. but
you see.. before i got sick
and before i got pushed up higher
in the administration of government work
and for almost two decades of Bowling Center
work.. particularly the first decade when no supervisory
serious responsibilities were mine then.. i just enjoyed the
warm human touch and juSt a smile with eyes and thank you
sir and m’am and come again and all that stuff.. and people were
nice to me no matter how strange i walked and ran down the middle
of the lanes to get deadwood then.. as they could see i was sincere
and when a lady later asked me why i was so nice.. after i told her
i was a supervisor of the place and she said that is why you
are nice and i was thinking WTF are you talking about
lady.. i like people ’cause i like them and that’s
all there is too it.. and then the Christian
Group Bowlers who came in told
me i was the best example
of a Christian they
ever met after i hadn’t
been to church in a decade or
so then.. eventually to make 23 years
too.. about the distance i went without seeing
a doctor too.. respecting people’s freedoms is what
i do.. i offer dissension but i am not one to enforce any
laws by desire on my own.. and i guess after my father left
as my mother said.. before i was three.. it seemed like i idolized
him then.. although i cannot remember him ever being with us..
i guess.. i became scared my mother would leave and not come back
too.. as i was severely attached to her.. and was always afraid she
would not come home when she went to work.. and when i visited
my father in Tallahassee.. i would get homesick as there didn’t
feel like there was any warm and cozy love there
anywhere but home.. eventually.. i learned
to give that love.. i had gained from
my mother as i never fully
gave up and eventuAlly
even though i was
so strange
that the
of the nerd
Beta Club said.. welcome
Ladies and Gentlemen when
i came into the meeting by adding..
And welcome Fred too.. suggesting
i didn’t fit in anywhere.. although later.. he
who had a crush on my best beloved friend
Lynn.. admitting that i was everyone’s favorite
person of course meaning Lynn.. my friend.. and he
couldn’t understand why.. well.. the truth is.. it was the
Unconditional Love my mother gave me from ages 0 to
3.. before she had to go to work that made my soul whole
no matter what.. eventually through life.. and although my mother
has had many issues of her own through her later years thaT Love
was the greaTest gift i could ever wish anyone and that Love was what
attracted the Katrina to me.. and what has made me an epic Lady’s man..
hehe.. through my life as my eYes are love and those eyes cAMe from my Mother’s
Love forever then and forever now.. i am having a hard time with this but i have been
to hard
in hell
and i just
hope my mother’s
pain goes away soon..
and that is the beauty
of writing as i
can get
out if no
where else
but my among
my favorite memories now are
my sister and me and my mother
watching Alfred Hitchcock TV shows
late at night when she let me have coffee
that helped me concentrate.. i had so many
warm and fuzzy feelings of Love when i was young
and when i became so ill and lost my emotions and had
no idea what emotions really were except some felt really
special and good.. i asked my mother.. please bring that feeling
back.. help me to live again as human please.. and eventually
God of Nature gave me that gift again.. and i refuse to
ever hold it back again no matter how soft
or strange anyone calls
me as sissy
or queer
like they
used to in middle
school for being all
happy and smiley then..
no vengeance for me.. i’LL keep smiling
instead.. thank you.. and those bullies did
continue in work life too.. vague.. and behind
the back.. back stabs too per do.. thinking i didn’t
know what was going on.. that’s okay.. Love wins.. iT DO..:)


maKing Love God.. A great thing
as sure.. Love IS A great Force…
taKing that message and
making it into
a man
is totAlly miSsinG the
Message of Love as a UniVersal
God of Nature Given hUman
greater poTenTiaL
as and of
and is
as the coffee
cup says.. Love one
another like i have loved
you.. sure ..just another version
of the Golden rule.. as quote from
John 13:34 on the breakFast cup..
what else.. yes.. For where two or
more are gathered in my name there i am
in the midst of them.. from Matthew 18:24 as nicely
illustrated as fog dispersing in the morn of a living tree..
see.. you really have to be somewhat of a poet to understand
where the teachings are coming from.. while we use symbols like
the Goddess Venus in Roman Form and Aphrodite in Greek form
to express the virtues of Love.. Beauty and Sexuality although Beauty
as the flesh and Sexuality as the flesh is denigrated somewhat in Christianity
oF old and not so much in some places in the Old Testament as it is clear to see
that beauty at least as beauty of Nature is honored in the David Psalms.. where the
New Testament is more about getting in touch with spirit.. yes.. regulation of your emotions
and integration of your senses for a BaLanCinG Force of Faith as Focus in life for gaining
liGht over dARk as Force oF LiGht LIFe.. as the study of human EmoTiOns in regulating
and experiencing them and naming them and mastering them is still a young science
in the fields that help folks with our inner UniVerse that is the greATest oF all
to eXplore and master with relative free will.. as gifted in potEnTiaL
we are by the GoD of NaTuRE aLL to this PoinT of eXistencE
noW.. thing is we are still talking about the deep
South.. the back woods in old Jerusalem
days too.. extremely patriarchal..
where boys must potentially
become warriors
away from Love
ALL to avoid the
human aversion
in killing others
to defend the tribe
to gain and maintain
resources in areas of
environmental scarcity in case
you thought this was gonna be an
all mush talk here instead of Fredtalk… ha!..
WeLL.. theRe is the Wisdom of gaining TrUth oF KnoWledge
and tHeRE is the LiGht of gaining emotional regulation and
sensory integration and transcendence from the every day
worries and never ending ruminating over worries too..
until one becomes a worry factory that never
stops thinking about
what might
next.. until basically
one becomes a worry
wart on a frog and never
turns into a princess or prince
and far far from a master in relative
free will of the inner human UnivERse
as Queen and King of one’s own existence
co-creating wiTh GoD as one FocuSinG Faith Force
of WiLL and Love.. finally getting away from the DArk
ForCe of Fear and hate.. problem is though.. we are more than
a head.. yes.. we have a miNd and BoDy too.. fully encompassing
uS too.. and while most meditation for mindful awareness to regulate
emotions and integrate senses focuses on stuff associated with the head
like breathing and thinking alone.. the body is where the emotions and senses
flow or stay stagnate until one needs massage or rough ‘rolfing’ to even remember
there is body down there below the neck after one has been sitting in front of a screen
almost all day long in one spot where the potential for ergonomic injury can be greatest
as sitting still is a repetitive movement too that can create all types of pain from head to
toe if some other balancing movement does not come to Balance a body out in
moving force of now.. as well as moving to burn harmful and cumulative
stress hormones that over time can destroy every body system
from head to toe too.. and no.. this is no “wive’s tale/woo” this
is science now that definitely shows stress
kills.. stress kills and is responsible
indirectly and directly for
much misery and
suffering in
illness and
addictions.. both
substance and behavioral
too.. like video game addictions..
gambling and too much porn as take sexuality
off the table and appreciation for the beauty of Nature
all together and one has the opposite problem of NDD..
Nature Deficit Disorder.. yeS it is important to keep a little
naked Apollo and Aphrodite in your life to keep the dopamine
and androgen and estrogen juices of life strong along with the
social bonding neurohormone oxytocin and no.. hell no.. not that
pain killer that sounds like that word either per oxycontin as oxytocin
is actually identified as the human all natural love drug that is facilitated
by touchy feely love.. yes.. matter of science fact.. even touching yourself too
as the athletes say adjusting yourself to feel human again after a long day of
anxiety creating competition as love kills fear and anxiety and hate overall and
that is why there ain’t much fear and hate on Bikini Beach where Aphrodite.. the
Goddess of beauty and sexuality and yes love rains free in bikini bottoms and tops
and speedos.. i guess.. for folks who are into that too.. hehe.. fact is.. you get some love learning
in church to the death of healthy sexuality and appreciation for Nature as anything other but
dominating both.. so it’s true.. in many ways Buddhism is lacking Tai-Chi but now that the
hair nets have been removed at church and been replaced with short skirts..
action speaks much louder than words in truth and light too.. including
healthy and open sexuality and beauty too.. so we are getting
there slowly in words and much faster in do.. as hUman
nature is God Nature free when we are free to
mindfully and bodily get back away
from prison of cultural
and religious
from human nature
where reAlly transcendence
is just being human again no different
than our forager indigenous Indian ancestors
that we are still at core once we remove the idols
as forms of words and statues of men/women/goddesses/gods
and come to understand fully unclothed as all natural liFE/liGht..
the essence underneath all trUth and liGht that is the essence of
God Nature as gifted to us free.. so on this Saint Valentine’s Day
i invite
you to
get away
from machines
of words and forms
and become the essence
of what you feel and sense
and yes.. thiNk too of what humanity
as gifted by God is free in you.. different
brushes for God’s masterpiece painting..
different sexual orientations and abilities to
sense and feel liFE.. and unique and same
we are as paRts and fractals of God whOle
but truly when the form becomes Truth
and liGht and the essence is no
longer lived we become
statues too..
empty shells
of words that no longer
have a flesh and blood liGht
beating breath of liFe as HeARt..
SpiRit whOle as MiNd and boDy
BaLanCinG soUl for now and in the
spirit of miNd and BoDy BaLance this is
my Saint Valentine Fred’s Wish for you.. hehe..
A Cup of Love and a Plaque of Beauty and two dolphins
that swim as empathy and compassion forevermore now
with a lust for life now too that never ends in Bliss and Nirvana
as the Heaven of now.. chances are i might have left something out
and no problem as sooner or later someone else will seek it and find
it and experience it and share it in other words and other symbols and other
expressions of art too.. Venus you.. Aphrodite you.. and Jesus.. you too.. DancE
and SinG them aLL as one force of Love LuST and Beauty pARt and WhOLe BaLanCinG
Faith for and as
LiFE liGht iN aS TrUth now..:)


SMiLes.. my friEnd.. Candy..
the touch of two legs
early in the morning..
one older and furry..
one smooth
and never
No.. not
sexual but soft
touch that has no
distance.. space or
time.. the warm and
fuzzy feeling of love that
never ages that lives
in old age
ages when real..
and perhaps the beyond
saddest part of all is when that
smooth leg of eternal youth touches
the fur of middle age and the beast that
was love became empty as a beast of numb
and i had it all and i had it none.. as Love is
essence and never
form alone
of a
aged furry
leg and a smooth
one that never ages
shaved close and loved
as much smooth or peach
fuzz too.. and when i go to the
bar and hear the young men talk about
women.. raised with only form of porn never finding
heARt that warms a soul and heart and spirit in oldest
age of
soUL young..
tHeRE IS A death
thEre that may never be
gained as liGht as LiFE that
never ages as Love.. and sure.. as that
Love potential left me in neurochemical
and organic way for 66 long months without
the human furry smooth feeling loving touch..
i know where skyscrapers with labels and neon
God’s come from.. they come from a Love that no longer
exists.. i know where 10 Million dollar homes come from that
seLL God as Love as making bigger bucks.. they come from a Love
that no longer exists as free flesh and blood touch feely taste smell that
no distance..
no space.. no time..
no age.. so.. Happy Valentine’s
day.. my friend.. Candice.. the feathered
Sleep with Hugs of Love that never age..:)


Happy Valentine’s Day one more time as the
Sweet Heart days ends soon.. and in preparation
for our two doctor’s appointments of maintenance
check-ups in addition to me being down somewhat
with a cold for over two weeks now in what seems like
two different ones caught over that period of time.. i thought
out loud to my self.. hmm.. too bad i don’t have a Valentine’s shirt
to wear out and about getting the required subsistence items from
Walmart after the appointment ended and lots of stuff going down at once
with my mother refusing to go to the Doctor.. to the point of her losing bladder
control now and delirium and thanks God she finally gave in and she does have
a sepsis infection and undergoing tests now to see all of what’s wrong as she
has refused to go to a doctor now for 12 years and lost a whole lot of weight all
of the sudden last year and has had severe hip pain off and on too.. her
wish was never to go to the doctor again
and die at peace
at home..
and we
are surely
glad she finally
agreed to go to the
hospital as she was really
suffering and it was getting to
the point we would have to go against
her wishes.. to stay at home.. and as mentioned
before.. done there did the almost death thing of ill..
refusing the help that saved my life as there is a time
and place always to get help and surely modern medicine
saved my life and put me to sleep after 40 days of almost no
sleep then with a synergy of life threatening disorders.. including
the suicide disease.. type two trigeminal neuralgia.. no infection
for me as sepsis is certainly life threatening too.. hopefully
all will turn out well as prayers pour out for that
with Good Will too.. best thing is.. she is
getting the care she needs and
hopefully her comfort
will come away
from pain now..
not much for music or
dance or poetry or much of anything
but maintaining a will for good will to be
strong as i am very close to my mother
as she surely saved my life more than
once in life too.. as mothers do
when unconditional
Love reigns
holds barred
of hugging love..
so yeah.. i’LL hug love
and too sick to go to the hospital
to spread my germs and perhaps i will
pour it out different in a prompt by dVerse
on the topic of HeART as pain of the emotional
kind is the muse of the deepest soul to sing a song
of healing wherever that may come and go.. come what may to generate a tear
of healing
as the worst
thing to do
is hold
it in
that only leads
to unresolved pain
that can last for years
if one can not let it all go for Love oF LiGht..:)



i danced the night my father
died as that is the way he led
fear freed..
my mother on
the other hand has
lived her life love full..
so i go to heart now..
just waiting
for come
may as Love.. as Love
that the Love comes from
continues to grow.. never is
tHeRe a shortage oF LiGht to come..:)

So.. here goes the Heart prompt at dVerse
for now as this is surely therapeutic for me
for now.. to keep afloat from going too dARk
to the
i’ve been..:)

ThE Lone souL that caves
for hope.. the lone hope
oF endless
a liGht
comes.. a tunnel
more.. A SonG SinGS
DAncE moRe for Love..:)

A heART sets us apART
from birds and bees..
A smARTsAdly
ART oF Love..:)

Finding Love iN
candy jars
not too
candy more
In eYEs thaT Love
sweeT heART ChocoLate Love..:)

50 sHades darKer
Red sings cards..
sHards.. glasS HEart
oF Love..:)

Art.. 60 percent smART
sAMe for heART
and pART
oF eARTh
as 75 percent
of 60 percent more..
Ocean Whole Love waters more
m and
he and p
and he and e and h
backwards from Art as Love.. AM..:)

SMiLes.. my friEnd.. Xenia Tran and happy
Valentine’s to you and your family and
family of Galgo’s from Spain.. and aren’t
all dogs and cats ambassadors of Love
for when humans
are not up
to the
task of
Love… animals
come into to feel
the spot of fill when
humans fail.. some sadness
here as my mother has fallen
ill on Valentine’s day and our cat
Yellow Boy comes to snuggle sadness
for he
of Love..
our pets are love
and i say to the world too..
my FriEnd..
what a wonderful
refuge you make
heAR for canine Love..:)

sMiLes.. my friENd..
greaTest Love i for
one kNow and FeeL
And SenSe of Wife..
is the life
to set me free…
Happy Valentine’s
Day to you.. too.. my friENd..
hehe.. and thanks for helping..
as i was looking for something
to say to her
in all
places oF LovE..:)

Spent some time with the homeless..
under bridges and sleeping
on beaches
in warm
south.. often
run off by the law..
what i’ve come to find
is.. it is the small group of humans
who stick together for a forAge of
liFe who
no restrAint
of texting twitter heARTs
with little characters oF aLL..:)

Dreamtime of indigenous
ancestors reaLiTy
of now..
As dance of life
iN trance of love
Gone liGht
aS LiFe oF DancE
And SonG of soUL..
animus and anima WoNe..:)

For years.. For Decades spent
and Christmas came and went
And i becAMe work away from heART..
And at my mother’s home.. sat cards of all
those who touched her heARt from years of
contact.. come again.. as love…
No cards at my
home for i was
work with
Love to spread
from desk and chair…
My Grandmother became
a painter in her 60’s after her
father died.. my mother.. a poet..
after her mother died.. and it seems
my mother could be close to that in a hospital
tonight.. yet known from the result of tests.. me..
too sick with a cold to enter into sanitized rooms where
germs could kill..
the thing is.. i never
took the time to send cards
before.. as one must give
without any expectation
to receive
as that’s
life works first..
i find noW in older
age more than ever before..
i never forget anyone who is nice
to me.. hehe.. and i rarely forget anyone
in a bad way who is mean to me.. greaTest
art comes from dARk when Love liveS on and
the more i come to hurt the more i come to Love
wins Love wins.. lives liGht..
Happy Valentine’s mY.. FriEnd..:)

Valentine’s day.. sAd heaRt
day for the lonely it seems
but what outcasts feeL and
seNse and Love
is Love
coMe to be
for all of what that
is as green and living
and even mountainous terrain
when a grain of sand comes to be
oF Love
from lEast to

SMiLeS.. HEarts
poetry.. a sweetest
candy on any
iT aLL
out whaTever
iT is that IS A
spYinG eYes oF LiGht
oR dArker SHades oF hAiry sTuFF..;)

BesT heARts
hAve wiNgs
LiGht as Love
neVer feaRinG lone
aLLone flies hiGheR oNe..:)

SMiLes.. my FriEnd.. Lillian..
so sorry for your loss..
Love lost love lives
as eYes and words
of love.. and my mother
visits a doctor and hospital
for the first time tonight.. in twelve years..
sepsis.. delirium.. she only wanted it all at home..
to live
and die
in peace at home..
with no fear of death
the gift of Loving Life.. ’till the end
And beginning as gift oF aLL thaT is..:)

And we just got the test results..
Breast Cancer that went into Abdomen..
Bone and Brain and the rest of her body too..
with Cancer
bleeding in
Brain and the
amazing thing is..
a few days ago
she beat my sister
at Scrabble friEnd..
not expected to regain consciousness
and when she did wake up incoherent it
took three very large men to hold down
her 120Lb body from escape.. my
mother had has a will
of steel..
gave up
on me when
i gave up on
all of existence
in life as death..
she lived
LiFE ’till
the end
with no regrets..
i can only hope i do the same
as Love wins when Life as LIGht..
worth Living..
and death IS
A blesSing for
those who live liGht as Love..
glad.. i had a person
who is truly human to share this
with in real time now online who cares..
as Love does..Love..
thanks Lillian..
for alWays being
a nice person.. to me..
Lives Love..:)

So.. yeah.. what to do now..
what my mother taught me best
to keep loving to keep loving and never give up..
and with memories of so many days
i thought my life
was over
and she
it will
pass.. change
will come.. it
will pass.. change
will come.. it did.. and i continue to live..
with tears of a shoulder wHo Nurtures liGht as grOwn..:)

And that’s all for now…

Facebook Friend and
nice niece Candie says..

Beautifully written. My heart is heavy for what y’all are going thru..:(
All my memories of her have been positive ones. Always a smiling face,
welcoming heart and a giving spirit.

And i say in return..

Thanks Candie.. to put it short..
when i was young.. some of my
friends wished my mother was their
mother.. to be born to her.. again.. would
be worth all the crosses.. i for one have carried and more..
with that said.. off to see her while she’s still living as the cold
i have.. is no longer a relative issue.. thanks again.. for the human touch..:)


Art is how we share our heARt in SpiRit as soUl with
our family and friends and hehe.. iN my
case the world
of whatever
comes daily
as wheRe my
heARt flies free
iN SpiRit of SouL..
And what better way to
share my Mother while she is
still alive and resting easy with aid
of modern medicine than to share her
actual written page published poetry soUl here..
yes.. in her 50’s.. also like me.. never writing poetry
until after her mother passes away about a decade after
that when she is living alone
in her home after the wife
and i who lived with
her shortly before
we bought
a mortgage
in ’93..
moved out
and she turned
to the art of poetry
to express her deeper
feelings then.. and yes..
when she wrote.. shapes of words
came free too.. farthest thing from
my computer brain then that people
literally compared my super problem
solving brain.. to.. yes.. computer head Fred
without any social graces of public dance then..
as that changed after i came out of my cocoon with
butterfly wings in my 50’s too where feet and hands
became free with heARt and SpiRit iN a miNd and BoDy
BaLanCinG soUL.. too.. and while my Grandmother addressed poeticAlly
here as Loving caring heaRt FeLt SpiRit of sOUL by my Mother.. worked
7 days a week.. 12 hours a day as a waitress in town to support her family
as a single mother back in the early part of last century and was the first
woman to wear slacks in town.. getting a job selling auto-parts to help out in
the overall effort of World War II when women went to work more then out of the
home and being a single mother was much more rare than now.. she also dropped
out of school.. and picked cotton at a young age to help her Father who was a widower
as my Grandmother’s Mother died young from breast cancer and a single father was born
after that and additionally a family of first settlers in the area named as Navarre beach now
on the sound side.. of course.. but with still a Ferry necessary to get over Pensacola Bay for
my Great Grandfather to get to work..
with the only entertainment then..
oral tradition among
those who
to get
as recollected
by my Great Aunt
Jettie before she passed
away at 94.. back in my
Dead zone days as all i had
time to do was sit and listen
with barely a breath to talk myself
all messed up from a total mind and body
breakdown in physical disorder way from the
chronic effects of flight and fight stress at work then
for 2 years in a spot my Nature was not cut out for at all..
per the Asperger’s syndrome and the danger of falling out
of balance to the dark side.. eventually.. of Bipolar.. while dealing
with demands then wiTh the manic life draining part of that issue
as an adaptation to extreme environmental conditions that can sTiLL
range from physical to mental efforts behind a computer and social
demands at work too.. i keep it all balanced out through the art of
hands that write my heART and feat of free verse dance that
regulates all my emotions and integrates my senses
where the world seems an excellent
comfortable and moderately
exciting place to live
with never
a bore
or too
exciting out
of balance dance
and song of LifE.. takes
practice and that’s why i am
here now.. still writing after getting
back from seeing my mother.. it takes
an Olympian effort to keep my Fredenstein
Brain all togeThER like a finely tuned Ferrari
head tuned with all 12+ multi poTenTiAl cylinders
as an
of life and
liGht now out of
DARk.. exPanDinG
thAT hUman potEntial
away from dARk.. continuing
iN liGht as long as i keep a practice
of what works to keep all my shit togeTher
FloWinG iN ZoNe Butterfly Tiger Free..
anyWay.. back
to the
with these
hands that
floW oN.. my Mother’s
family.. very much like “Steel
Magnolia’s”.. Great Grandfather
lived two doors down on the River
Front of Black Water in advanced age..
living ’til ’94 then too but as long as i remember
the women were all in charge and seeing a male
in my family anywhere was a rare thing.. and that’s what
would eventually make me a nurturer too per the environment
makes you what you are as all the law enforcement of my father
in colder emotional non-speaking ways moved over to Tallahassee and
stayed there.. and my mother.. a devout Catholic.. would have never divorced
him.. but my father insisted that my mother go to work as he felt money was much
more important than the mommy staying home with the kids.. so he left.. divorced
her and remarried a women in his law enforcement office pool.. per say.. otherwise
i would likely have many many more siblings than one for now.. as all my Mother
cared about was raising her children and i got the benefit of her unconditional
love until age 3 as she was forced to go to work after my father left.. so..
i became the child waiting at the end of the day.. too.. in hopes of
feeling the warm healing touch of mother again..
and my most terrifying fear was that
she would leave as that
was the only
place i could
find to
Love that was the
same spirit i feel no matter
what.. including today when i walk
in a room wherever she is at and i have
to say when i woke up this morning and felt
the pain of her leaving soon and not returning
to this earth while i live here more.. i felt a greater
sadness and compassion this morning feeling the love
of my wife Katrina still with the warm loving human touch
for all of those folks who may have never experienced love
like that and in my experiences on the so-called ‘Wrong Planet’..
a common theme there that did not pertain to me with Mother for
sure was a hatred for parents in general where there was no love at all..
and yes.. for reasons of neglect and abuse too.. the difference in my life on
the Autism Spectrum.. not unlike the like of Temple Grandin is.. i had a mother
who refused to do anything but love me and here recently she got in her head
that i was demon possessed but surely that was the Tumor in her brain that was cancer
speaking.. then too.. but we already sensed/felt that she was sick.. so i let it go and she let
it go too.. and all was well again the next week when i visited her as love rules when
a practice of life
from birth
to death..
is where
of Chrisitian
religion and
belief and faith
that an all unconditional
Jesus lives inside.. as i had
that Jesus as a mother.. some
folks don’t have it at all if they
didn’t have their Jesus.. it doesn’t
matter the form.. however love comes..
the essence of Love is the God of Nature
Given Power that makes life good for self
and surELy much better for others too.. as
the source of all Steel Magnolias comes down to Love..
and a matriarchal leaning society most always works better
in smaller groups as prehistory and primitive folks go
in smaller peaceful societies as ranked by
sociology in the twenty
most peaceful
societies that
live by the
give and
Free as Love of Life for all.. noW
iNterdependent wHeRe sOURce
of Love remains and stays first
at the breast that feeds loving milk…
and those clouds that i captured last
week are named like that as utters of love
coming from sKeYes in a feed of life that is heavenly
Love as it comes from eYes that breathe thaT Love
it on and on
as Love grows
in hope away from
fear and hate… women
for the win of cooperation sTiLL..:)


The greatest thing you’ll ever do is love..
The part of the Moulin Rouge Song.. come
what may.. that is left out of the
YouTube automated
to copyright strike..
and how children come
into the world today.. in an automated
world.. with less of the feely loving mother’s
touch at a breast of life of hugs and holding hands
and needing each other’s naked warmth for the forage of life..
and surely.. i was protected
and folded in love like
this from born
to rise
older to journey
away from love to
cold technology of figures
and facts and lights that excite
and neon colors of manmade created
God that is surely paRt of God but separate
of the furry love that is our inheritance at
breast of life that comforts
that soothes that
has no
tag or goals
or motivations over
the basic subsistence and
shelter that love brings as blanket
and cover that never needs more than
life of love.. so what can love do.. live that is
what love does best NoW as the hiGhest power.. the
greaTest gift that to give is to receive as liGht as Force
beyond dArk of doubt.. fear.. and hate.. the years my mother
suffered from gall bladder pain.. refusing to go to the doctor..
i experienced that pain and just wanted to take it away from her
and her pain kept so silent with cancer spread over her body for
years hurt me beyond pain no matter how quite she kept it then..
and now that she sleeps without pain it brings me greater comfort than
the love she can no longer express in a vocal song of love that never falls lower
than higher angelic breath.. as much as it still hurts as dream of loss as nightmare
as child becoming reality now.. we are all born.. we all die.. and love makes the difference
and the best difference of the journey ‘tween two events of life we all share as equal beings..
from the smallest life to the largest
life now that can or
cannot love
to feel
as now..
L O V E..
i only wish
all people could
love like this unconditionally..
i only wish that everyone could agree
that Love.. the Force that now some of us share
so deeply is the God worth worshipping as pARt
of aLL of GoD as Nature thAT is the beST paRt for
those who can and do give and share Love Freely..
but the fAct of feelings
senses and knowings
and even science too..
and sure.. common
sense.. is
all people
are even born with
the innate ability to give
and share love.. and humans
are evolved by Nature as God
to optimally give and share love with
at most 150 to 200 sets of friendly loving
eYes groWinG this Love as A Garden of Eden
in a forage for subsistence and shelter together
in a warmth of life where the human life and love is
the prize and not a tool we create instead from clothes
to cars to homes to cities to spaceships to leave our home
of earth.. so.. the priest comes to visit my mother and while i told
his secretary.. i didn’t know how comfortable my sister would be with
the last rites ceremony for the sick and dying.. no different than a doctor
insisting on blood pressure medicine when the top part goes over 140 now or
the bottom part goes over 90 in the doctor’s office.. the prescription required
by the pope’s administration.. is to give these last rites to insure an entry into heaven..
and that was fine.. the priest didn’t ask.. he acted.. as my sister was gone out of the room…
i understand/feel/sense.. the importance of
rituals as shared positive
emotions to comfort
everyone involved..
except.. for..
the baby
with water
poured on an
innocent head.. shortly
after birth.. thing is.. how much more
for the God of Love would allowing people
who just so happen to be gifted by God with
different sexual orientations to make their love
recognized as holy and sacred as another couple’s
love that they choose to hold holy and sacred full of
meaning and purpose to give and share the rest of their lives..
well.. sAdly.. it’s not in the manual.. and as synchronicity will have
it.. when my old Tennis Buddy.. the Monsignor.. rigidly performed every part
of the ritual perfect.. up to the song he sang loud and proud as a Catholic
administrator and priest same.. he got to the part where he needed to read
from the last page of his manual to get it perfect and suddenly he couldn’t find
the page.. it seemed like a rather cold ceremony.. so i interjected some humor and
said.. well.. Mike.. perhaps it is the “Mandela effect” (when what you remember from
before becomes something totally different) per in this case.. OMG Fred.. the page is gone..
well yes.. after flipping back and forth and of course after doing this an innumerable number
of times.. he found the correct page and all was finished according to the book as assigned
to him.. thing is.. if we could all just go back to Love and use some common sense/feel/can/
WiLL.. Love could rule but sadly the world has become a very complicated place where words
have taken the place of
Love.. where words are rules
becoming collective intelligence and
religions to enforce those rules along
with cultures and more tools to bring
creature comforts like cloth blankets too..
but without love.. truly.. it is just one big
empty palace or skyscraper with an empty Trumpet
that has no song.. when humans become refugees.. now..
where the rule of love no longer applies.. God cries a tear
that is empty of the water of breathing Love.. but it goes back
to square one root one problems.. without the naked breast of love
at birth that grows this garden of Love in a place fertile and small enough
for Love to thrive.. the cold comes.. and the poor of spirit spend a life doing tHeir
best in/with/as tools of life to replace what is missing inside… a dance and song of Life that
if one can feel..
sense.. be more..
with will.. lettiNG love
guide one NoW in all one
does with fearless smART
WiLL oF Unconditional Love..
to get unplugged.. as a human tool
of culture.. can be so difficult.. but when
Love rings as faith that is smART without fear..
Love rings a song that can be heard without distance..
space or time.. and what the only thing truly in liGht any church..
home.. or dance bar late at night.. lives.. is the love that is more than
one person who shares.. together.. as a cup of love that has no golden chalice..
but the gold
that has
no limits or
expectations but
to dance and sing as
Love forevermore now..
so.. as my mother lays dying on
her bed in rest and comfort.. the love
she gives and grows in me IS A Hurricane
of Love with calm center eye that growS on
Ocean whole as Love guiding any eYe oF wISe..
TrutH and LiGht..:)


one might ask.. Superman..
now.. what really is kryptonite..
weLL iT’s the same human
nature story that is the
act of life over
and over..
the fearless
super masculine
father finds the most feminine
loving mother and births a child..
super masculine is super fearless
but doesn’t have the ability to express
Love like super feminine does.. so opposites
come together in attraction and as science shows
before the advent of ‘the pill’ that smooths attraction
more out to gender neutrality of egalitarian which ain’t
a bad thing overall.. thing is.. it is a combination of fearless
love that can breed a super hero man or woman or the ‘tween
of that and much comes into
way of adversity
and fear
rainbow hope
and love to make
Clark Kent change
to Superman for more..
and actually.. the original
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Literature is named as a source
of the Superman story too.. as the
tender Garden of the Divine Love of
a Mother’s Breast can create warmth out of
a stone of warrior that might have otherwise grown
that way from daddy’s who tell their little boys that boys don’t cry..
toughen up son in loud down south way to use a stereotype of
course as human diversity in biodiversity rains as clouds
as spectrum oF LiGht thru dArk beYOnd rainBow colors
in all pArts of the world as one race of
human beings too..
anyway.. that’s where
i come from.. a father of fearless
who escaped a den of love..
not easy growing
up in the
most patriarchal
of assessed places
in the United States
here in a place with the most
old time religion churches per square
mile by record and 5 or so military bases
designed to kill to defend rather than love to spread..
as what divine feminine love does in grace over masculine
will and strength.. i’ll not build a skyscraper for i did not go to military
school.. but what i can and will do is continue to spread fearless love..
in all i do.. and yes.. this is opposed to the place of environment
i come from but the Flower(S) sPeak different.. in Saint Rose
county from Saint Rose of Lima Catholic Church
from State of Flowers
in a mill-town
Milton place
here now as
the flowers
love noW
in beyond
rainbow colors
of my hands of song
and feet that dance over
kick ass as those feet were the
strongest ever last night at the gym…
might have pressed 1020 LBS 50 times
and i could have gone longer as after all
my mother can still struggle past three men
my size to escape from a bed of death back to God FReED now too…
Yes.. real SupermenwomenEtC.. get their strength from LOVE.. doubt
me not..
how else
the FucK
am i stronger
with legs of love
at age 56 here now..
than any other big man
in that gym.. it is the love
inside that is calm that powers
this Hurricane art as winds of grace
and strength in me.. and without that love
i am just a piece of paper full of structural infirmities
still shown clearly on Cat Scan and MRI.. in terms of
arthritis and spinal stenosis ranging from top to bottom
still of me now.. and that’s the thing.. i am more than just
flesh and blood as my mother still is on her death bed too..
i am
I am
i live through
death as life and
never give up.. and with
this said i am going a little
shorter on this 747th MacroVerse
of Ocean wHole longest form poem…
i am still lifting more than three men by legs
of dance and song of love.. and doing the work
of 10.. maybe 20 poets each day as my Mother’s Love
rings on in eYes of me.. Helen.. did you know you created
this much love.. yes.. she did before the brain cancer got too bad
as she told me so when she could see that love in my words in all
the pages i shared of what came out of my heart in the last year that
i shared verses with her from my GodsUniVerseNovel3 where i have
a stack of pages bigger than several books as just a small paRt of that
one MacroVerse poem of 338,630 words and all this effort was worth it
just so i could relate how much she has meant to me and how much i loved
her whole no matter what.. so thanks God for helping me to find a way to say
it after God brings me this gift of life as love to say it one more time and forever
now.. so yes.. this 76th MacroVerse of ‘Nether Land Bible 2017’.. arises to higher sTiLL in
number of words as the 75th MacroVerse brings it up to 1,145,032 words.. with Ocean Whole Poem
of all 747 MacroVerses now still well exceeding 3.3 million words and i will keep it no secret..
whenever they talked about the Virgin Mary in Catholic Church.. the only person i saw
was my mother then and still now as she is the source of my love no matter
what happened way back then.. and for me she has always been
my Jesus alive on earth and priest moreover than any
man in church.. and no.. i will be no political
leader and no.. i will never
rule the world
she died she
came to find out
she did grow a garden
of love in me.. She knew
i am love while she was well
and that is enough for me until
the day i die as she told me i would come
back to live then and i did from death as life..
this passes.. all passes.. and love is real now…
will i dance tonight in my 148th dance night at
old Seville Quarter to shine that light of love in dance..
as my mother greW in me from birth.. i WiLL if i can and
as history
i wiLL aT
any rate
i have a song
for this and all it is
is humble love for my mother..
and that example that good cop super
hero Jesus that was provided to me between
the lines of a book i read who was for all the outcasts
in life who loved like my mother did and does.. that Jesus
of Love is worthy of thanks and praise no different than my
mother or anyone else as all of Nature as PARt of GoD wHole.. as
doubt and fear and even hate can be turned into faith and hope and even love…
i’LL do what i can but seriously we are going to need a lot of different folks with Good
cop Jesus sKin on to turn this titanic around before the iceberg of doubt fear and hate
the ship of
faith hope and love to crash.. yes..
i’LL do what i can but i am just a
gRain of sand.. the solace IS A grain
of sand holds up a mountain of love
that can and will be human too
as long as Good
Cop Jesus
in all
the forms of
human comes
as a gRain of sand
as big as the gift of Love
that is the Greatest grace of
God of Nature Given as real Force of Love..
and beginning
of GreaTest story
of God forevermorEnow..:)

Mother’s Day Forevermorenow

Mother’s Gift










BeforE and After NovEL pARTy

BeforE and After NovEL pARTy
Introductory post to Free Novels..:)



41K words
Free Verse Poetry Novel..:)


51K words
Free Verse Poetry Novel..:)


338,630 words
Epic Free Verse Poetry Novel
Approximately 3000+ printed pages…
With Hundreds of Beautiful Beach Photos..:)

KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

3.3 Million plus words
Super Epic Free Verse Poetry Novel
SonG oF mY SoUL..:)
Approximately 30,000+ printed pages…
just ’cause
i caN
buiLd iT..
FoR Free..:)

CrediTs FiELd oF DreAMs

And yeS.. FinAlly..
CrediTs FiELd oF DreAMs..
A Thanks YoU oF sORts..

Love iS

GRains oF SaNd
hOld mounTain
oF LoVe NoW..:)

GodsUniVerse 42 HiTchHiKinG

GodsUniVerse 42 HiTchHiKinG
Hmm.. more and less..
A Meaning oF liFe..;)

After Book oF Fred

After Book of Fred
And Purpose
of course too..
for mE..:)

6000 Miles of DANCE WALKING! NOW!

6000 Miles of DANCE WALKING! NOW!
Documenting this Public Feat oF Feet in 3 years..:)

After Dance oF Fred

After Dance oF Fred
NeverEverLand DoN’T
Stop DanCinG noW..:)

Book oF Ten Sixteen..

9 Macro Verses from
October 2016.. totaling
141,244 words.. all liNked
from that Month like A Great PumPkin..;)

New Testament oF ELeVen iN HeaVen ‘SiXteen

New TesTament HeaVeN iN ELeVeN ‘SiXteen

Total of 12 MacroVerses with
final chapter of this New Personal
Testament named as such.. 181,221 words..
as streAMs.. RiVers… OceaN wHOle wAves SinG oN.. FReED..:)

12 MilLioN ThanksGiVinG Words 2016

12 MiLioN ThanksGiVinG Words 2016

Documenting 12 Million words written
Since ThanksGiVinG oF 2010 or
A Seventh Book wHOle noW
oR wiTh 16 Macro-Verses
sTarTinG October
2016.. enDinG..
oN ThanksGiving
2016.. iT iS wHAt
iT is..
Longgg.. NoW..;)

2nd NT iN HeaVen TwELve ‘Sixteen

Included as 13 Macro-Verse liNks iN
Grand Cross Bible 2016.. 181,291 words..:)

Grand Cross Bible 2016

61 Macro-Verse chapter liNks
provided in this last chapter as
full table of contents oF A 915K
Word.. Personal Bible aS SucH..
Written from Memorial Day
2016 and finished and
published 7 months
later on Christmas
Day oF 2016..
Yes.. somE
F iN
aS thiS beComeS
mY 9th book completed
iN Star Year 2016 that ranges..
yes.. approaching 2 MilLioN words..
iNclusive oF 12 MilLioN.. over 6 years
written and recorded NoW oNline too..
Y.. yeS.. oF course.. ’cause i CaN Do WiLL..
thE ForcE
oF uNConDiTioNal
Fearless smART LoVe
wRiTe oN cOUrse..:)

KATiE MiA FredericK 2016 A Year in Review

A ReView oF A Record Years of Record years..:)

CoLoRs of HeAVeN Bible 2017

991K words
66 Macro-Verse Table of Contents Chapter liNks WiTH
5 added as a revision to ‘Grand Cross Bible 2016’
wHeRe A iSReaL Revelation oF HeaVeN
is made at the
eNd and continuing
beGiNNinG aS WeLL..:)

VicTorY LaP iN HeAVEn 2017

The rise oF A MiLLioN
Word Bible aT
Over 1.01 MiLLiON
Words and suRE..
A Victory Lap GoinG
aLong wiTh aLL thaT iS
And This aT thE 67th MacroVerse
oF thaT Bible.. pArt oF Ocean Whole Poem more..:)

CelebRaTinG 42 MoNths iN HeAVEn

Yes.. most Definitely Worth
Celebrating and noting
in Epic way too..:)

Nether Land Bible 2017

NoW A Third ReViSiOn of a Personal
MiLLioN plUs Word Bible
at this 69th MacroVerse
with liNks
to the
rest of the Bible
MacroVerse Chapters
arriving at 1,052,137 words
total at this 69th MacroVerse poinT
as words continue in coMiNg MacroVerses
after this 69th MacroVerse as nows continue to Go oN NoW..aLLFReED..LonGeR..;)


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About katiemiafrederick

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9 Responses to Mother’s Gift Now

  1. Sending love, smiles and prayers across the miles xxx

  2. New Blogger Poet Friend.. Xenia Tran.. sends kind wishes in regard to my mother..

    Sending love, smiles and prayers across the miles xxx

    And i return with..

    Thanks so
    Much.. my
    As Love
    Is no
    Space.. or
    Love is

    She returns with
    smiles and a heart emoticon

    And i return
    with a smile emoticon..

    And with that said.. the healing value
    oF A Mother’s hand cannot be denied by
    those who feel the love that Mother’s hand
    can bring in Unconditional way.. and fortunate
    am i to hold that warm and loving hand once again
    as the Doctor’s
    say my
    has anywhere
    from two days
    to a week to live
    for now.. my sister
    and i taking shifts at her
    bedside now.. and off to lift
    my spirits now in how i do that the
    best in hopes of spreading that gift
    oF liGht as inborn and bred by my mother’s
    hand of love as there is rarely a healing touch
    as loving as a Mother’s hand and i am surely
    glad she is going the way she wanted
    too.. at rest it appears will
    be her curtain
    of light
    to the
    creator as liGht
    comes from dArk
    and goes to liGht
    and the
    of liGht
    and dARk
    continues as liGht..
    and sMiLes.. i’ve experienced
    too many miracles in life not to
    believe in life forevernow.. too much
    magic in one life that makes Santa look
    like a skeleton in a closet alone.. allone with
    God all now forevermorenow all paRts we whOLe NoW
    uS LoVinG LiGht as GoD SpiRit fLIGht moreevermorenow…
    i wish i could impArt this 100% Faith with and on everyone as liGht
    as words are surely not the sAMe as the foreveressence as NOW liGht..
    so.. i celebrate my mother’s liFE and her exit from misery and suffering and
    all of liFe associated with pain as the dARk is PARt oF liGht too.. and tHeRE is
    no separation from God in our daRkest thoughts and moments we feel and see NoW
    any oTher way than that.. does it hurt.. sure.. more than i’ll ever put into words.. but
    nah.. it doesn’t numb nearly as bad as having nothing left to feel and sense inside of Love
    or to give as LiGht as Force as LoVE is power oF liGht we share when isreal as fLIGht to
    of we Ocean
    wHOle expanding
    with unlimited shores
    of Love to grow even more..
    so.. yeah.. off to dance to stay afloat..
    off to float to dance and sing liFE aLIVE
    and celebrate the greATest gift we all alive
    liFe as liFE
    breathes and
    lOvE goeS oN as noW more..
    And thanks from me goes out to all of those
    who have extended kind wishes and thought in
    all the ways that comes from a tear of reaction on
    Facebook to a loving flesh and blood hug as touch..
    it’s all love.. in all forms it comes it’s all essence when
    as SoUL..
    Love wins Love wins Love wins..:)

    Facebook Friend and nice niece Candie says..
    This is so beautiful and sad at the same time.
    With Sad emotion and Crying tears emoticon

    And i return with..

    Appreciation of Love…
    my very nice and kind niece.. Candie..
    Love lives as long as Love Lives..NowmoreeverforevermorenoW..:)

    Back after an afternoon and night with my mother and a dance
    floor to express all my emotions and senses without
    bottling it inside.. and ironically..
    i suppose/feel/sense a great song
    for this 77th MacroVerse
    of this ‘Nether Land Bible’ now
    totaling 1,153,816 words with the
    76th MacroVerse added in of also now
    748th MacroVerse here staRting for Longest
    Long Form poem of over 3.3 Million words closing
    in on the 42th Month of poetic stream of consciousness
    Holy spiRit co-creative writing with the God of Nature all..
    since the end of August 2013 in Word Press way and total blogging
    experience with first spark of that spirit expresSinG at the end of
    February 2013 in a PM to my first and only Facebook Friend then in what
    surprised me in flow the same as it did when i won a Christmas Story in a
    middle school two homeroom classroom competition of 80 students where i had no idea
    where the words came from then and a spark in a philosophy class at age 18 in college
    writing all about the Universal God of Nature then having no idea where the words that floWed
    out of my fingers came from then.. and it came in spurts.. starting at the end of February
    2013.. now close to the 48th month point.. and really flowed along with the free verse
    public metro dance that also started at the end of August 2013.. when the Word Press poetic
    effort of longest long form poem came.. then.. so yes.. it is safe to say as ‘they’
    say.. the spirit has been upon me for 42 months full in flow and around
    4 years in and out all toGether now.. by the end of this month..
    so.. sure.. i used “Time in a Bottle” as the Bottle is
    my SpiriT eXpreSsinG EmoTions and seNses of HeARt
    from head to toe and more in the art of
    a miNd and BoDy BaLanCinG SoUL..
    so.. in other words
    i am putting
    my soul
    this bottle heaR..
    for floW iN ZonE of
    ArT aliVE alWays noW
    as Love and all the Pro-social
    emotions that spRinG from that but
    what i leARned when i lost my emotions
    for 66 months is emotions are what make us human
    and this art of free verse poetry is what connected
    the language as guide posts erected before to house emotion
    bRinGing the essence of EmoTioNal and SeNsoRy SpiRit back to
    live in shells of
    word no matter
    how eloquent
    had no essence
    of FeeLinG SenSinG
    EmoTiOns within.. and that’s
    a sad thing.. perhaps.. a saddest thing
    when someone says your words are beautiful
    and you cannot feel the beauty of words or even
    a sunset or a sunrise or flower in the niGht or Day..
    and trUst me that is the bottle of Love you do not want to lose..
    and the way i found it back was three fold..
    through words oF oLd through Music
    of my youth.. and through
    the photos of the
    Loves i lost
    the losses
    of Love in youth
    in how i adjusted to
    that emotional turmoil was
    to shut emotions down progressively
    through all the stresses of life until
    they no longer existed and they seemed impossible
    to find again.. you see.. Epigenetics and Neuroplasticity
    in change adapting to environmental stress for the positive in human
    evolution in just one life can go both ways.. yes.. negative too..
    use it or lose it
    applies to all
    creation iN
    life.. so.. February
    16th will be the afternoon
    and evening i sat at my mother’s
    bedside and expressed all my emotions
    that trust me.. were a Hurricane of dance
    last night for a crowd to experience as i was
    born a very emotional person.. a very sensitive person
    who could feel/sense everyone and everything like i could not
    separate and individuate myself from everything and everyone
    and that is just one form of Autism that overwhelms a person to
    where they don’t make
    sense when
    they talk
    to get
    it all out
    at once in what
    they experience as a storm
    of life in emotional and sensory
    experience.. other forms of autism
    are opposite.. where either emotions go away
    or they never exist at all.. Autistic Psychopathy
    as it is originally named by Hans Asperger as he
    sheltered these children from the Nazi Effort to eliminate
    anyone ‘less than perfect’.. in the early 20th Century.. oh
    yeah.. and speaking of feelings.. my wife reminded me i forgot to
    mention that she gave me that ‘Five Days at Freddy’s’.. T-shirt
    right after i said i needed a special shirt for Valentine’s Day as
    i never finished that thought in the last MacroVerse SonG..
    anyWAy.. i am moving a little too much on a fact
    finding mission here away from
    emotions and that
    is the other
    part of some
    forms of Autism..
    super logical minds that
    get locked into data download
    and output mode and lose it or use
    it comes into play that way unwittingly
    so.. and next thing ya kNow people are no longer
    saying you are too emotional kid.. to hey.. Fred computer
    head.. solve this problem for us as you are now just a valuable
    commodity to get the job done.. and that’s okay for job security
    but not okay at all for soUL security.. trust.. faith.. hope.. and love and
    all the stuff that kills doubt.. fear.. and the worst ‘friend’ of all that is hate…

    So now it’s true.. now that i have a way to get all my shit together i not only
    believe i can fly.. i can just do it.. as i have all the emotional and physical
    intelligence tools innate.. instinctual and intuitive to get the job all done..
    and no doubt.. this is why written language stARTed to hold human emotions in a bottle
    too as words of faith.. hope and love.. to share and re-visit when times of emotional
    loneliness and cold came then.. so.. we can find this help through the art expresSinG
    experiences of other folks through words and other forms of human art too.. for it’s true..
    all words and letters and other symbols are art as they are guideposts for our emotional and
    sensory and knoWinG experiences of TrutH and liGht for what we kNow and FeeL and Sense
    to be good in life and yes.. the DArk side away from liGht expresSinG as spiRit too..
    as all emotions play a role in how we BaLAnCe ouR soUL as A Force that works
    to get the job of not only survive but thrive ToGeThER doNe now…
    my mother’s life inspires me to fly.. all my loved
    one’s lives inspires me to fly and all
    of creation and God of Nature
    inspires me to fly..
    as to fly
    is not
    to be
    down by the chains
    of dARk.. to fly is to let
    one’s EmoTioNs/SeNseS/SpiRit DancE
    and SinG free aS LiGht unChained now
    from the dARk EmoTions and SenSEs that
    weight us down.. but you ‘see’.. the dARk is
    an anchor thAT bRinGs uS uP to liGht even higher
    than beForE if we use those WinGs of LoVe Gifted to us
    By the God OF NaTuRE aLL as HiGheST hUman PotEnTiaL as LiGht…
    the Truth is.. the ways of path of life journey that take us to this
    place oF liGht as liFE JouRney destination present of not alWays easy
    getting heaR but it surELy is worth all the crosses of dARk as aRk that take us
    to this
    as HiGhest
    place to fly
    in/as SoUL.. tHeRE is
    alWays more dARk to come
    but the saVinG Grace is when
    we dance and sing that dARk as art
    and make a bottle of the present now
    of Love that never goes away at least to
    the point where we can go back and find it as
    life line later.. and that’s the thing too.. as many people
    will tale you.. that life line back to love is their Mother..
    i will be able to find her back here just by typing in the words
    “Mother’s Gift Now” in Google.. really easy for me to remember but the
    thing is.. just like when i took notes in class.. i never had to refer back
    to them to remember them.. as art.. whether taking notes or painting is how
    we cement those memories with emotions and senses of focus in the moment as present
    of now when do our art.. the real gift is for someone else to see notes and art same that
    take them
    to an
    and sensory place
    that perhaps they have
    never been before that spARks
    a liGht in them.. so.. we give and
    share and GroW toGeTheR that way and
    that is wheRE avenues for free art in all
    the small and haha.. ‘bigger ways’ that come..
    do come into play ranging from Instagram to
    Facebook to Blogs to Dance Halls to
    still to Sunday
    Morning Church where
    we sing together and
    hold hands when saying positive
    words of prayers to bind us toGEther
    in EmoTiONal Love.. same as a naked dance
    of Indians under moonlit campfires of lOve
    with the rhythms of drums and fluted instruments
    as throat song and heaRt Beat of Human extended even
    more.. this is humanity.. this is love.. this is what we
    humans do best toGethER in a Dance and Song of Life as we art it
    togEtheR and save the best to enjoy it again toGethER forevernow
    again as the cycles of dARk and liGht go on forevermore noW in a
    of Life
    in the
    Kingdom of
    Heaven here on
    eARTh.. at least that is
    how the elders did it when
    i was young.. and i find a way..
    anyWay as a path on a journey to express
    that sPiRit of heaRt now with photos.. videos..
    words.. and yes the oldest arts of Feat of Dance
    and Voice of SonG in what we are innately gifted with from
    birth sTiLL NoW
    all naked
    as we come
    in and
    out in
    liGht and dARk
    as that cycle of liFE
    iN DancE and SonG goeS oN.. as LOVE..:)

    And.. oh.. goodness that reminds me to take a quick
    note here that i am now 7 full MacroVerses of back up
    on Facebook personal page and two other pages which is
    around 100K or so words to be copied and pasted on three
    FB pages at close to a third of a million words.. well.. i’ve
    been further behind than that as the words floW oN as ya
    when it
    is LuKe Hot..
    sTiLL copying and
    pasting to Facebook
    as i go.. but hey.. sooner
    or later i’ll get it all collected
    togeTher and labeled then as continuing
    exPaNding archive of the soUL that will not die.. now
    as i extend all those soUls that i love heAR as well..:)

    It almost seems so simple now that i missed it.. make every
    move as dance and sound as word holy and sacred in life full of
    meaning and purpose and Heaven comes as a Kingdom within to give
    and share with others all Naturally and it’s true as ‘they’ say ‘the
    word’ is holy but if you close the book of love it becomes hard to expand
    it to groW more as Ocean wHole of God’s art in our eYes of Love and to leave
    out the first
    as move
    of God
    uS is to leave
    most of what drives us
    from head to toe.. namELy
    our EmoTioNs and SenSes integral
    to the huManity oF Love now.. so..
    Dance and Sing Love as Art..
    do best
    in a bottle
    that SinGS now
    with no distance.. space
    or time.. just love.. juSt Love
    as Dance and Song..iSReaL NoW..FLYLOVE..:)

    And by A way “I Believe I Can Fly” came out
    when our son Ryan endured his life of 51 days
    in Shand’s Hospital.. in ’97.. all he experienced
    in life is what my mother
    is experiencing
    at the end
    of her
    in the
    hospital now..
    he taught me to fly..
    chained in that bed from
    birth to death.. finally free in my
    arms to escape pain to the blessing
    of death as my mother is going to do soon
    too.. i voWed to fly hiGher after my
    only son and child died…
    i vow
    to fly
    noW in
    respect of the
    gift of my mother..
    the gift of my birth.
    the gift of all those who
    i love.. namEly all of Creation as GOD NoW LOVE..:)

    MArk mY
    words.. my dance.. my song.. so
    let it be written so let it be dOnE…MORE..NoW..:)

  3. DArk inside.. begs
    liGht to come back as
    the pain of watching my Mother
    die and the comfort i wish to give her
    is all life at this point of now.. nah.. i refuse
    to escape as this is as much paRt of liFe as the
    liGht that will continue to aRise after dARk.. i’LL touch
    the sKeYes soon enough as the paths branch out more
    into journey oF LiGht…
    mY Mother’s greaTest
    wish was that i would
    never cry and be
    and then
    the Katrina came
    and she kNew that
    prayer was answered..
    and yes.. it is answered as
    Katrina takes the dARk away
    and gives me comfort of Love in
    this most difficult of days now..
    and there are angels here
    and theRe who truly
    and naturally
    care about
    tHeir fellow human beings
    like the nice girl from the gym.. Vida..
    who cared enough to ask me at Old Seville..
    why i came to work-out early on Wednesday
    and even told the Older Military Hero who works out
    there who goes to our church about it so he could provide
    words of comfort too.. as when i walked into the gym last
    night.. Vida Raised her arms up and said ‘Norm’.. i mean
    Fred.. hehe.. ‘Cheers’.. reference tHeRE for those
    not in the ‘norm’ know/feeling/ and sense
    of pop-culture and real life
    too.. the human
    touch takes the pain away
    and sympathy arises for others through
    actually experiencing the dArk oF LiGht that
    combines wITh liGht Now from dARk and sHades
    of grey and beyond rainbow colors too.. to make all that is
    aka God wHOle more than we can see/feel/and sense too.. art as
    the HouSinG of the essence of the hUman heART.. SpiriT ExpreSsinG
    miNd and BoDy BaLanCinG soUL as vehicLE and vessEL to carry liGht
    on and yes.. DARk.. the ShaDes of Grey and BeYond Rainbow colors for oTher
    folks to see and feeL and senSe as more of liFe to perceive as reALiTy even more..
    aS even in the dArkest MiDnight hour we are BeingS oF LiGht and even with a Solar
    Eclipse like the first one to cross the entire United States from east to west
    in 99 years and the first total solar eclipse since ’79.. coming this
    August 21st.. 2017.. liGht comes back without fAil as the
    greAtest fear has alWays been
    it will stay
    never come back..
    i feel the liGht of my MoTher
    sTiLL as she lays dying in her bed
    now.. and i feel the liGht of humaniTy as
    it surEly seems to be groWinG dARker heaR in
    some places who/that refuse to even see the dARk..
    and that’s the thing.. if one refuses to see/feel/sense dARk
    tHeRE can be no trUe liGht without the recognition Now of dARk..
    And the dARk and liGht comes noW iN unlimited ways.. and culture..
    local or larger can hide the dArk in so-calLed liGht clothes
    and expose the liGht in so called dARk clothes..
    as there is surELy much for the world
    to learn and feeL and sense
    more today
    as a revelation
    of the trUe forces oF
    dARk against the trUe forces
    oF liGht thaT is alWAys sHades of Grey
    and beYOnd rainbow colors too.. perHaps coMes
    to liGht and dARk and the ‘tween beyond thAT as that
    is what adversity does.. it bringS out all the colors of humanity bold..
    and cold and yes
    too.. for sure..:)

    This liGht inside.. this flame.. this flicker when it grows dim in the
    face of emotional and sensory darkness as i can relate when we lost
    our child and the other losses of life.. it is truly those who offer
    comfort iN those times bringing the flicker of flame that is waning
    hiGheR in the human liGht of BeinG
    that i for one will
    alWays remember now
    no different really
    too from a distance
    like the song ‘Firework’ by
    Katy Perry that was the only
    SonG oF LiGht my soUl could hear
    back in 2010 or so in the dead zone then..
    ‘Raise your Glass’.. by Pink.. was another one and
    sure.. i’ll remember the stories the Military hero provided
    of his Irish mother passing with cancer at age 94 with her
    hands folded toGetHeR.. soUL.. waiting to receive communion then..
    and his humorous remark at the end that if after he dies and neXt
    if he finds there is no Heaven.. he is gonna be pissed.. and nah..
    i didn’t go on all about the Kingdom of Heaven now on this eARTh
    promised in this generation by the ‘old jesus’ back in the
    days of Biblical text that remains now to
    say what i for one feeL and
    sense can be the
    reaLity heAR
    as liGht
    Earth now.. then
    and alWays noW for
    those who seek and find it
    by never giving up.. and nah..
    not a place that everyone can fit tHeir
    camel through as this needle is perHaps the
    tightest fit ever in a society that does its best to make
    US As form of the tools we use including even words beyond
    the essence oF liGht as Love Within iN MoVinG.. coNnecTinG
    CreAtinG ways from head to toe and more to free the liGht of we
    insiDe to mid-day Sun in Darkest niGhts of new moon midnight bLack..
    and the animals have this liGht too.. to suggest they don’t is perhaps the
    most sELFish
    things humans
    do in tHeir seemingly
    unceasing disrespect Now
    for the rest of Nature all animate
    and inanimate and never trUly inanimate
    at the sub-atomic flow level of BeinG noW liGht
    as LiGht expands as existence now or retracts some
    what as we lose that liGht.. LiGht more.. LiGht less.. move
    more.. connect more.. create more or the otheR place of dArk..
    thaT much we do have relative free will control of as co-creators of
    our realiTies now with the ForcE of all Nature which sure.. yA can call God now
    as houSing
    of veHicle
    to express the essence
    of God isREaL NoW.. anyWay..
    my sister and i are on shifts at my Mother’s
    side as she no longer wakes and we just wanna
    make sure she is not alone through the end of her life
    now.. so yeah.. this is rather therapeutic for me to balance
    the dARk with the liGht as much as i can as i am only human of course
    and last night i felt the kryptonite again.. i’ve been in that kryptonite place
    for 66 months and long before that for a year and more..and surely
    do not wanna go back again.. but it’s trUe..
    now from
    kryptonite too..
    think about it.. the
    the death
    oF LiGht.. these comic
    booK and other art folks
    and tHeir word/audio/visual play either
    witting or unwitting surELy fits the bill of
    human spiritual life that is as real as what
    you feel and sense of life or what you don’t and
    sure.. in a science way that’s a fAct too.. if only in ethical
    case study view..iN this inner UniVerse one can neither fear the
    dARk or be cynical of thE liGht to more fully eXplore as the scientific
    method is made more for form surELy than the essence of all that is GOD.

    So.. a little behind but not left behind on MacroVerse memories here over the last
    several days as shared on Facebook too.. hmm.. ‘Left Behind’.. life imitates art..
    and a reminder from Facebook Friend Greg on that as most all those folks who read that
    ‘Left Behind’ series seem to have a death wish of making the Anti-Christ of that story
    come true and
    follow his
    as far
    as dARk goes…
    The human as Carl Sagan
    intimated in the ‘Contact’ inspired
    movie is so true in the end of that movie
    too.. humans.. are capable of such great dreams
    and horrific nightmares through their imagination and
    creativity of dARk… ‘tween… liGht and beyOnd.. and as hiStory
    repeats hisSeLF.. we need a little heRstory now.. the Love of a Mother
    who brings sandwiches
    of a
    chain to the
    basement of love..
    (pArtly inspired by
    the military hero who
    had a stern father when
    he got in trouble and a mother
    with a sandwich to feed a starving heart)..
    there are a lot of starving heARTs in this country
    and the world now.. and sadly.. some of the emptiest
    hearts are in fully feathered nests as how that appLies appLes to
    nurturing the rest of humanity in need.. as the appLES continue to faLL
    grace of
    Love to doubt..
    fear and hate as Love
    WiLL eventually win as herstory shows..
    a sandwich for the children of God more as liGht..
    and i do mean all the children all of Nature too as God.. too..:)

    “Elephant GreY GOD”.. MacroVerse from two years ago.. speaKing
    to the problem of worshipping form over essence.. in other words when
    words and books and cars and homes and skyscrapers with folks names
    become the
    God over
    God of Nature
    essence we are born
    innately with without any of these
    human tools.. including written words..
    as God lives on a desert Isle no different than
    what we attempt to relate of God in symbols of human
    abstract constructs we name as words.. outcasts find this
    TrUth liGht much easier as we have more time to seek and find
    it outcast of course on a desert Isle with God.. i tried to relate that
    concept to a bunch of folks on a place called the ‘Wrong Planet’.. where
    there was little poetic heART spArk and i attempted to relate it in a poetic
    place named DvERse and that change of seeing Nature as God on a Desert Isle
    was suggested NOT as real change in viewing life whole.. you see.. they are
    for God
    to get back as
    a man.. namely
    the person who couldn’t
    figure out what the FucK i was
    speaKinG about when they deleted my
    effort to describe the change that happens
    when God becomes real now on a desert Isle
    and one becomes allone and never alone again..
    Kingdom of Heaven as the Jesus related that the Kingdom
    of God lives within everyone and not just FucKinG him iF yoU
    SeeK iN God of course within.. you kNow it’s funny.. the first priest
    who came to give my Mother the last rites.. went by the book and halLeD
    ass to the next location.. a busy man he was.. the B priest in the hierarchy
    below the alpha priest came in the next day and he had a little time to listen
    to my John 14:12 story.. of course.. i didn’t spell it out for him and he left given
    the opportunity to do that as a nurse came in.. but the third man of the cloth..
    a Hospital Chaplain who doesn’t ‘discriminate’ against any specific faith/sexual
    orientation.. etC..eTc..aL..aT all.. listened intently to my story and could ‘see’ the spiRiT
    iN me more than the book i continue to write no
    different really than the African
    American woman
    at the
    last week who identified
    me as a ‘member of her spiritual
    family’ before i said a thing juST by
    the liGht as my Face iN sMiLes as most
    all African American Churches STiLL noW heAR
    seem to more easily do as they live more by spiRit
    than words alone.. DanCinG praise iN SonG as liGht too..
    as i told her it is more often.. the little children and the ‘minority’
    groups who see me as i aM a Member of tHeir ‘family’ too.. again it goes
    back to the seek and find parT.. the more outcast the more seek and find
    liFE goes with GoD wHole.. the more sympathy unless one becomes a bully
    with vengeance over victory too.. anyWay.. this MacroVerse continues to inspire me..
    as does
    and God overall too..:)

    “STiLL Dreams Dance”.. MacroVerse from a year ago.. still pushing
    close to a year here in this effort of responding to an entire year of
    all prompts and links at dVerse Poetry Pub from April of 2015 through March
    of 2016.. as hey.. that’s what ya gotta do to attempt to be part of a community
    when you are the odd creative one out.. hehe.. even in a creative community to
    validate your existence there.. it was only a matter of time when the free verse originator
    of that opportunity for online creativity of poetry left and his nice co-founder too.. let’s just
    say.. the scientist poets took over with their more restricted ways of forms with little patience
    artist(s) who came
    back to visit again and again
    and again without fAil.. heHe.. i was
    a little harder to get rid of than they expected
    for sure.. and all of that year of poetic training
    just readied me as training to write a bible now
    exceeding 1.153 million words at the
    end of that 338,630 word
    effort that was
    a gift
    i shared
    with my mother
    the last year i had with
    her in hard copy pages.. she
    could read off my home computer here..
    it was worth all the crosses to give that liGht
    of my soUL to my MOTher as she said she understood
    more about my soUl than ever before and as mentioned earlier
    when the brain cancer started to attack her mind.. her views became
    distorted but hey.. love don’t mind.. love just keeps loving and she did too..
    no matter
    said.. Love
    reigned on as rain oF liGht..
    as i Loved it would and Love it does..:)

    ‘They’ say grief comes in three stages.. denial
    anger.. bargaining.. depression.. and acceptance.. and i suppose
    i did the denial/bargaining some at first as i only could think of being
    reborn to my mother forever living with her.. and then there was the
    anger.. nah.. not at her.. but at this patriarchal make you into a big man
    culture to be a warrior/hunter and all that jazz for survival that is truly a part
    of human nature too.. when doubt.. fear.. and scarcity turn into hate
    as surely a scare city too.. i had too many meltdowns at home
    while the bully boys tried to extinguish my soul..
    and my mother had to endure the dark
    they brought to me more
    than anyone else..
    and my sister too..
    i do not like bullies..
    they can even raise my blood
    pressure and turn my feet into
    weapons but i refuse to succumb
    so i dance instead.. and let it all go.. and sure.. i went a little
    ballistic in dance on Thursday night as i remembered all those bullies
    as the head bully is Trump now and those same boys/girls
    follow him
    of doubt
    fear and hate.. now
    as that is anti-christ incarnate…too..
    i do my best to love my enemies and
    let God with Karma do what’s next within
    them.. if you don’t think you’ll ever have to face
    Karma.. don’t
    in the
    look in the mirror..
    is the only advice now
    i can give ‘you’.. as i don’t think
    i’ve done the worst of sin.. but when i faced
    God i still endured hell for things i did.. in a burning
    place forever that has no fire.. a place where all is time
    and a second is a thousand years to polish your soul back to pure
    and the Karma that works beyond that let’s just say after you die you
    give up all control and the rest is left up to God.. i wouldn’t wanna come
    back as a grasshopper and be crushed underneath foot then accidentally
    by a child for a thousand times.. so.. you say science doesn’t prove it..
    well the fact is science
    don’t know
    shit now about
    Karma as science
    goes dArk when the liGhts go out too..
    not trying to scare you but just trust me.. Karma is real..
    and the best thing of all is.. is love.. so the best thing for me
    to do now.. is give Trump and all his followers who were the ‘sAMe’
    bullies i encountered by me then all my love and just let it go with the dance
    as God of Nature has given me that most excellent tool to get all my emotions
    out with
    a pen
    of LiFE too..
    in other words what
    lives as my words and my
    dance stays tHeRe and the liGht
    of me GroWs oN more.. from
    the dARk of
    me that
    a distinct
    possibility and
    potEntial reaLITy agAin too..
    in other words.. it is much more than
    grace.. it is FucKinG iF yoU SeeK iN GoD more WORK..
    as God the God of Nature is as real as the Love you FeeL and SenSE..
    and hell yes.. as real as the Hate you FeeL and Sense too… sadly for some folks
    the other
    more inviting to them..
    break the habit.. i can only suggest
    with a DancE and SonG of LiGht aWay from dARk..
    oh yeah.. and yes i am experiencing depression for now..
    i’d rather do that than repress the normal God given cycle of Emotions
    to liGht
    agaIN.. tHere
    are no real shortcuts
    of gRace to LiGhT it’s worK..:)

    A photo of Wife Katrina and my beloved cat Elwood who was one of the only
    life lines i had back to love during the stresses of work-life
    and fear over losing my job to decades
    of reductions of force
    facilitated so
    much by
    the automation
    of the human work
    force by computers where
    humans need not apply.. and even worse
    than that as humans become slaves to computers
    behind a screen and come to find out later they have
    lost tHeir humanity as a price of being a slave to all that
    as i surely did as i fAil off the face of humanity for 66 months..
    it’s almost sad to warn folks as what do you do to make a living if
    you do not slave to the demands of a job that requires us to be machine over human..
    the answer is surely by metaphor ‘Jesus’ by literal too.. to give and share to the folks
    without a shirt on their back of soUL.. i do that with words and dance and when all
    giving and sharing money means nothing.. and that’s true as some rich folks
    come to find to in tHeir philanthropy efforts too.. but sadly
    there are still the Trumps.. sadly
    tHeir are
    the Trumps
    as the dARk
    side raises its
    selfish taking head
    as no longer even relevant
    to the snake who does that just to survive in scarcity
    as Trump owns Towers of his own style of Babylon now..
    and to be clear.. Trump is only a metaphor for this.. he is nothing
    without those he rules over to make his slaves either in work or politics same..
    Love wins wiTh a wife in A Garden of Eden with animals other to love too.. Love wins
    and a memory from
    my friEnd Rafiah from a year
    ago of that as my Muslim friend says..

    I want to have my marital relationship as
    loving and as compassionate as you
    two have mashaa Allah..:)
    Heart Emoticon..

    i respond..

    SMiLes.. And wInks.. Yes..
    we are the marriage model for a new world order..;)
    Very sweet of you to say that as well.. Dear friend.. Rafiah..:)

    And now i say.. the new world order comes from within.. not all
    share it but it gives
    when isReaL..:)

    And now.. “Effervescent GREEN Dreams and Black HOLE Souls”..
    A 316 or 317 word effort.. depending on wHeRe you stop
    reading.. heHe.. sure.. i’ll quote it again.. Ynot..
    from two years ago.. in 2015.. rather short..;)

    The greatest lesson of ALL IN my life..

    is the blackest night of the soul..

    can lead to the

    brightest GREEN

    of effervescent Hopes


    reality of life

    constructed from abstract terms..

    so written and LET be done….

    IN Imagination

    and Creativity

    as SAME AS sane…

    But tHere ARE places of dark..

    wHere no Light can come in or escape..

    YES.. the dark CAN live again…

    So perhaps.. tHis earth IS both heaven or hell or a mixture of BotH..

    And perhaps WE are ALL journeying together in a place called


    Yes.. the greater lesson of my life IS

    that tHere IS HOPE even wHEn THeRE’s NO hope…

    TheRe IS iMagiNatIon and cre@ivity where none of those exist..

    JUST waiting to bud OUT of cocoons of human hell…

    @to exist once again.. IN Imagination and Creativity

    COME TRUE as



    The butterfly flies again…..

    And yes.. at times.. life stings a lot….







    Wife Katrina

    surprises me with

    a Curious George T-shirt..

    with this

    profoundly curious

    primate taking it easy

    just laying back in imagination

    and wonderment about life



    in dreams of creativity…


    In the




    before my fall to

    TOTAL human exhaustion


    19 human chronic stress

    related medically documented











    i sit with her on a big recliner..




    and tears..

    start to



    my face..

    before they stop streaming




    suddenly realize



    longer have

    a heart.. a soul..






    am dead

    for all practical

    intents and purposes..

    as there


















    “Addicted too..” from a year ago MacroVerse memory too..
    and it’s trUe i am addicted to Love and all essence and form
    associated with Love.. and isn’t it kinda funny.. ya can call God
    to call
    a man love
    as essence over form
    as statue can
    folks so
    bent out of shape
    as essence under form too..
    but nah.. it’s not really funny.. it is
    human Nature.. what some folks cannot
    measure and fit inside a form scares the
    out of
    Love as
    essence allone..:)

    i seriously.. visited ‘one’ of
    these so-called Christian
    hate sites spewing hate
    over all naked
    see in modern
    culture now.. and ‘they’
    were determined to say
    that Jesus is not Love.. so
    God is Love and Jesus is not
    Love and instead.. a warring beast to destroy
    their enemies now.. don’t make sense don’t
    make sense but hate makes bedfellows for
    in adsense way..;)

    MagicK of God’s Synchronicity.. just another MacroVerse
    Facebook Memory shared from two years ago too..
    and the thing is.. the word Magick IS A word
    with a K added by a famous
    occultist named
    and explorer
    of the more hidden
    aspects of the inner human
    Universe for greater God of Nature
    give hUman Potential that science just
    cannot touch with tHeir old two to five step
    or whatever scientific method that relies on
    observable empirical measurable phenomenon
    that can be repeated by several scientist in objective
    measure with results that can be clearly seen now by the
    ‘naked’ eye aS Such which of course is full clothed in form
    by empirical measure so in other words it misses the essence
    of form potEnTIaLly completely too.. so that is wHeRe the words
    occult and esoteric and mystery schools come into play over ‘so
    called’ normal scientific evidence that is really not much different
    than chaining
    god in
    this sacred
    text or that sacred
    bible or the other sacred
    Koran from who ever supposedly
    said this or that inspired by a hoLy
    Creative spirit too.. not much different
    than what is flying off my finger tips in God
    Conversation of my SpiRit within now.. in sure
    what a dude named Neale Donald Walsch referred
    to when he got in his 50’s or so as that is often wHeRe/when
    that floWer of Human Creativity blooms more once the constant
    supervision of children responsibilities are gone and perhaps retirement
    from being a cog in a machine makes art come more as dreamtime of creativity
    more than
    brick in the
    wall of Pink Floyd
    Dream time too.. seriously..
    being a brick in the wall kills
    the God time of forevernow within..
    hands of cLock sweep God of origin out of
    the picture almost completely by my personal experience for sure..
    but hey.. this is usually the best place i for one live.. a place of dreamtime with God now
    as lucid
    waKinG dreams
    come to Fruition
    in Flesh and Blood too..
    wiTh that flAMe inside that
    burns more than Luke Hot now..
    but nah.. no drugs for me.. aLL
    Natural with God is how i
    am flOwn
    by air
    by water
    Ocean wHole more…
    it’s hard to explain it in
    scientific forms as reason
    but i do what i can
    i will
    i am with GOD
    as co-Creator of my existence foR now..
    as Love as the boat sail that drives me forward now..:)

    ‘The Art of Sacred Movement’.. MacroVerse from three years ago.. yes..
    YES.. Oh Lord.. it’s been awhile since i brought anything associated with ‘lust’ in
    the discussion here.. as usually depression and all stuff relate to dARk
    of being human takes
    that away
    the liGht
    in all
    the ways
    that comes..
    yes.. being sick..
    takes it away too..
    as the best of LiGht
    as Love is associated
    with all natural
    of MoVinG
    conNecTinG and
    creATinG too.. repress and oppress.. subjugate
    thaT and what you get is frustration.. aggression..
    violence and even potential dirty bombs inspired by
    dreams of 72 Virgins somewhere else butt consensual porn online…
    all legal aS Such of course with no under legal age old age stuff of older age
    so-called sacred text stuff too..ugh.. just ugh.. get back to Love please with
    a healthy mix of consensual legal lust to drive the libido oF liGht orientated
    creativity and productivity.. take it away and take so many colors of life away..
    the saddest thing of all is never ever holding hands with the opposite sex that
    is not immediately related to you.. until one gets pass the age of married.. that is
    totAlly against God Given Nature that as science clearly shows even in physician case
    study work in some countries leads to sexual abuse with incest and other stuff like rape…
    you can fool the people in Trump ways but YOU WILL NEVER FOOL GOD IN AS NATURE
    in yeS even case study science way..:)

    WeLL.. the (A) next cross of shift by my Mother’s
    death bed is approaching now on 2.18.2017 and
    tHeRE was/is this ‘prophecy’ oF A ‘MagicK Flute 2017’
    that cAMe back on 2.18.2015.. yes..
    exactly two years ago
    brought to me
    still free
    charge by
    the human designed
    FB algorithm that does in some
    ways reflect the mINd oveRAll of God
    too.. as after all hUmans reflect as fractal
    wHOle creativity of/as the science minds that reflect
    the God oF aLL MiNds of and as all of naTure plUs too
    God too..

    And with 293 words..
    short enough to quote..;)

    As i stand




    March 17..2017

    close to midnight..

    i look back on 2015

    with both joy and sadness..

    joy of the bringing of light

    from the magicK












    Before you come out as

    a mischievous Leprechaun













    mean really..

    all you have to do..

    is to keep the werewolf

    facade and how hard can



    considering that Leprechauns

    are not SUPPOSED
















    And now look where i am in 2017

    captured as Leprechaun having to grant

    three wishes to everyone


    meet in

    real life



    OH MY




    Having to explain to each and

    every gift seeker that they already

    always have the gifts



    their human being

    just waiting to be released as the higher

    power of human being in accordance with

    Mother Nature

















    And OH MY


    this tradition has been passed on from

    the ‘first



    the seventh now’..

    starting with Krishna

    passing away that magicK

    Flute sometime between

    February 17 and 18th

    in 3102











    hope you enjoy









    a pot of











    And now
    i say as
    Day 2017 and this
    year’s Fat Tuesday
    is yeT to
    arrive that’s
    thaT for NoW..
    Time WiLL
    tale as
    Time alWays
    does relativELy
    SpeaKinG aS noW oN couRse…:)

    And sure.. if yA care to.. yA
    can skip to the end of
    the Magic (MozART)
    see in subtitle
    way how all this
    ends and begins again..
    sure.. different actors
    but the
    And the LiVinG play aGaiN…
    LeT’s juST say iT aLL fiTs toGeTher aGaiN
    in both Tragedy and the Kingdom of Heaven now..:)

    CRap.. i almost forgot to add..
    Facebook Friend Ashe
    says.. as status..

    Drifting apart from friends
    is always a bummer.

    And i return again
    wiTh aGaiN..

    FriEnd IS
    A Verb..
    In other
    Words.. no
    Matter what
    They always
    Come back to
    Say hi.. with never an expectation
    Of anything
    Back.. and

    Facebook Friend and Katrina’s Sister Kim.. says..

    Continuing prayers for you Katrina Marilou Becky.
    My heart is with yall if you or katrina need to talk just call me.
    Love to you both.

    And i say..

    Thanks so much..
    Kim that means so much to me..:)

    Facebook Friend Ned/gigoid comes
    by and says in kind words too..

    My thoughts are with you, my brother….

    And i return with..

    Thanks.. my friend.. and i look forward to
    commenting at your place soon.. as i
    process all these emotions
    that are difficult now..
    and get through to the
    other side
    of this..
    this writing and
    the dance really helps..:)

    In response to a recent
    comment on Rafiah’s blog
    Rafiah says..

    Some sing. Some dance.
    And some stay quiet. These
    all are expressions of human soul.
    Freedom is being able to do whatever form suits one..:)

    And i say..

    Amen.. i’ll be
    Back to sing more…
    At Hospital now with
    Dying Mother.. Love..:)

    Rafiah says:

    Prayers for your mother.
    I wish she stays longer
    with you my friend.

    And i say in return..

    Thanks.. my friEnd..:)

    Rafiah writes another post in
    regard to the human condition
    and Virgins waiting for marriage
    to cure the issue of human lust/love..

    And i return with..

    At first i thought you meant
    suffer and sure.. unrequited
    Lust/Love can surely lead
    to at least
    a great
    of frustration
    but yes.. as i do admit now..
    i resorted to the online dictionary
    to find the snuffer is that tool the
    altar boys at church use to put out
    the Holy flames..
    and it’s true
    as any
    that pollinates
    the Azalea as i went across
    the Hospital Meadow where pink
    Azaleas were blooming with dew drops
    of evening moisture.. yes.. got pictures to prove
    it too.. hehe.. could have been a sprinkler system
    i guess.. that i just missed too with sMILes but as you
    said before.. the human condition and lust is just part
    of God being
    ‘him’ and
    in this case
    the expression
    of the human condition
    full as the most beautiful pArts
    of life are the love and lust working
    in consensual way that creates not only
    more beautiful humans but also in general
    as science shows.. a balance as such makes for
    the libido that is a major source of all human creativity
    and productivity too.. so i hope you are snuffering out that
    feeling in some way that generates creativity and productivity
    more as surELy that is why God makes us that way
    no different
    than the
    the Azaleas
    all Natural too..
    what works is what
    works if all for good..
    as the answers within
    are inside
    above.. so
    below and all around
    liGht as LiFe.. anyWay i hate
    to think of you suffering at all my friend
    even iF.. iT is only A great frustration at hand…
    AnyWay.. this week has been one of the hardest
    of all in my life.. and each day i spend with my mother
    the pain of past depressions come back to haunt me to
    the point i feel the pain of the past from head to toe and
    my body parts become week as kryptonite will do to even superman
    too.. so i started out with a slow dance as my sister replaced us at the
    Hospital tonight.. at SuperWalmart.. with what ‘they’ name as Kundalini
    Rising music and chants for that too.,. and slowly the liGht came back
    to all the cells of my body paRts again.. and by the end of the night when
    i danced to the song ‘I Believe I Can Fly’.. by R. Kelley.. the song we listened
    to when our baby was dying in the Hospital back in ’97.. i really did fly again as
    i’ve been doing the past 42 months when i dance in public.. took about an hour
    and 15 minutes
    to get
    out of my system
    but for now i’m back
    and thanks for your prayers my friEnd..
    i wish all the pleasure.. namELy.. love in the world.. to you..
    And i hope at the end your life there is a son and a daughter
    who is at your death bed loving you as much as my sister and i love my
    mother as that IS A life complete when one is loved that much for the whole task at hand..
    Insha Allah as
    God WillIng.. within.. my FriEnd..:)


    Oh yeah.. i like seeing your
    new avatar that shows
    your smile.. your
    big genius
    and the sun-light
    behind your eYes..
    my lovELy scientist friEnd.. Rafiah..:)

  4. “How deep is your love,
    How deep is your love
    I really mean to learn
    ‘Cause we’re living
    in a world of fools
    Breaking us down
    When they all should let us be
    We belong to you and me”

    -Bee Gees

    It’s a good thing that i have a sister
    and she has a ‘significant other’ for close
    to the same number of years on a day of anniversary
    with Katrina that we made seven days from Valentine’s day..
    that makes it impossible to forget.. hehe.. as the twenty-seventh
    celebration of that comes at the hardest of possible of times this Tuesday..
    the 21st of February that if my mother lives that long will mark the seventh
    day since the 14th of Valentine’s day.. when she went into the hospital to die..
    so yeah.. there are actually four working together out of two loving couples for my
    mother who are sitting by her death bed side.. and for someone who is a little weaker
    in emotional darkness potential as Bi-Polar is about as big of a challenge in life as
    being on the Autism Spectrum.. one has no choice
    but to do whatever it takes
    to stay above
    of Ocean
    whole Love
    as the rings of Dante’s
    Hell start to creep in expanding
    ice around one’s heaRt.. SpiRit and SoUL
    wHeRe pain becomes the reign and one can
    barely move their legs no matter if they leg press
    1020 LBS or not.. as before when i was in that Hell..
    even though i could still press 500 Lbs with my legs then
    same as i could since age 21.. my legs felt so spiritually
    weak thaT is an entirely different issue than the muscles
    that press the weight that i could hardly move walking
    then as my 94 year old Aunt Jettie
    obviously had more spirit
    to even talk..
    as my
    Spiritual emotional
    sensory energy had fallen
    to pain.. and numb and pain
    and numb to eventually all the rings
    i for one could imagine of Dante’s Hell..
    so.. anyway.. if anyone wonders why i make every
    step and every word holy and sacred full of meaning
    and purpose it is the lifeline back to life liGht as the dARk side
    attempts to gain control back of my liGht life.. thing is.. my Mother
    gave us her all and she truly is the only reason i have the wonderful
    light of Katrina in my life as she sure as hell didn’t marry me for my money
    back at the Bowling Center close to minimum wage days as we would live
    first in subsidized housing rental apartments just to get by.. and my Mother’s
    home to save money to almost miraculously buy a home as Katrina became employed
    through her Mother at the Local Newspaper here.. and this thing they call Fibromyalgia
    that i am experiencing off and on again through this emotional pain is precisely that in
    my opinion.. as i do my best to stay strong through the bitter sweet experience of having
    my mother another day and another day as she struggles to breathe and the sadness that
    i am attempting to stay strong with goes into pain and weakness as the depression of pain..
    last night my savior was the Tai-Chi like movement i practice as a practice of life these 42
    months now that is saving my spiritual life now along with peaceful flowing moving
    music like no tool i ever had to ward off the demons of life before..
    miNd and boDy BaLanCinG soUL that i ‘preach’ over and over
    heAR.. is such an important thing to gain unity
    within.. and an art of liGht as movement
    free verse style floWinG
    as sea gull
    around the Sun
    with the sound of muSiC
    to FloW from Head to toe too..
    is surely a savior of Love as my Mother
    taught us that the only thing that counts in life is Love..
    truly she never ever put any materialistic limitations or expectations
    on me.. as the Father’s side said you should be making more money and
    doing more than you are doing now.. thing is.. they were FucKinG yes iF yoU
    seeK iN GoD.. totally incorrect as my Mother taught me Love was more important
    so deep that she sacrificed everything about life for her children and went through
    every dark journey with me with the resolve of never giving up on me.. and it’s true.. i must
    be strong enough to support the love in me.. now.. as the Katrina helps to hold that up too..
    but it comes down in the beginning and the ending just like the so-called Jesus
    dude said.. from within.. inside.. outside.. above.. so below and all around..
    the spirit is holy and the spirit lives in the flesh.. ignore the
    flesh to the detriment of the soUL is the paRt
    of the Christian religion that doesn’t
    sing nearly enough in a MoVinG
    DAncE of LiFe more over
    SonG of words..
    steps count..
    they really do..
    we have a country of what
    could be called ‘love fools’ and
    a leader who leads the way away from
    love and the saddest part of all is the majority
    of his supporters call them selves Christians.. perhaps
    if they could dance with God they would find a Love in heARt
    to Love everyone and not support separating lovely loving families
    of Hispanics.. over worry of sharing subsistence with what they see as
    the lesser among they for the price of laws.. as Caesar’s coins.. poor refugees
    and a way different than a coat hanger abortion for the most desperate of those who
    do not have the mental stability or resources to raise children that is a reality.. like it or not..
    no matter what any book says as the statistics prove in countries that have more abortions
    when planned parenthood is not available when human suffering becomes less important
    than who is right or wrong from a text of an ancient book.. we have a problem Houston.. no
    different than what we had before too.. as a homosexual person couldn’t insure their
    decades old Loving partner before the Obama Savior of the outcasts came
    into the picture to make this country finally one for the
    life.. liberty and the pursuit of happiness for
    all citizens per the Declaration
    of Independence for all..
    and my Mother
    when she was
    young fought for
    rights for women.. but after
    she quit working she was very religious
    in life and started listening to years of radio
    programming that mixed fundamentalist religious
    ideology with alt-right propaganda that still occurs now..
    it changed her and brain washed her as often people do become
    more conservative in their later years.. when Ronald Reagan eliminated
    the fairness of news reporting laws providing equitable views on both sides..
    he hurt my mother’s soul indirectly when he did that.. and all his minions continued
    to do that and do that to the point where Fundamentalists Christians are so brain washed
    now that they elected a virtual anti-christ who flaunts everything against Matthew Chapter
    5 of the beatitudes verses 1 though 11 and did it all through his campaign promises with
    the embrace of the evangelistic Christian community overall.. all the
    way through with the top dog of Franklin Graham singing
    his praises all the way to the end of ‘left behind’..

    so i repeat

    “I really mean to learn
    ‘Cause we’re living
    in a world of fools
    Breaking us down
    When they all should let us be
    We belong to you and me”

    as surely.. Jesus would repeat
    if the Good Cop version was on
    eARTh today with a Mother who taught
    him from birth the most important lesson that
    in the end and he beginning Love is all that counts..
    and i always forgave my mother for her new views of this
    way away from love as we watched her will to become brain
    washed by it over decades after Ronald Reagan took the truth
    away and the new ‘Neo Nazi Reign’ gained a foothold in this country.. it
    is no joke.. the Alex Jones and the Breibarts and the Limbaughs and
    the other showmen of psychopathy now gain power with doubt and fear
    and hate rule this country now.. infiltrating it with truly fake news
    that i for one have monitored for decades now to see the
    spread of it from sea to declining shores of love..
    and it took some of the light out of
    my mother’s eyes..
    and just
    for those Catholics
    out there who say they believe
    in Love and all the rest as they hold
    the ideal of pure ‘white’ Love in the Mother
    of Mary Statue they worship no different than
    Isis for this role model of love.. you are killing Mary..
    you are taking the light away from her eyes in metaphor
    and literal.. wake up to love please.. before it is too late.. make
    your Ocean of Love so deep that you exclude no one from East to
    West to North to South Hemispheres of Earth as one Globe of Love..
    fact of the matter is.. if i could become Jesus i would will to make this happen..
    other fact of the matter is.. no matter what ‘they’ would still follow their anti-christ
    Trump as the human being is vulnerable to being brainwashed by the power of suggestion
    dArk or liGht.. but not everyone but not everyone.. not the outcasts from love who had
    to learn
    on their
    own after
    all was lost
    in poor of spirit..
    just hope it doesn’t take another
    world war to bring love back as this
    one is the one with no point of return..
    at least have some empathy and compassion
    for the flowers as their colors are tainted by hate.

    is ‘your’ Love..
    the dance speaks louder than song.

  5. The year is 2006.. and Katrina’s
    Mother is in a Hospital room close
    to where my Mother is now… the first
    time i ever witness a human being pass away..
    and very difficult i will add but of course.. much more difficult
    for Katrina then.. and i was afraid that night she would go to
    the dark
    side as
    i have
    done in life
    and not make it back
    too but she did.. and i continue
    to enter and exit with the tools of Move..
    Connect and Create at hand.. and on that night..
    a Methodist Preacher who used to be the Mayor of
    our town.. named Byrd Mapoles as a flying Mayor too..
    was at Katrina’s Mother’s side and his advice to us while
    we were still fairly young is to find a church.. any church for
    the moral support we would need very much later in life..
    and i must say.. we got it today and more than
    that from Church to Restaurant to
    Stores and for witness
    from me to
    witnessing the
    dance of me.. of the
    healing power of MoVinG
    Free verse with Music as the
    entire Body becomes a vessel of
    liGht With the SouNd oF DAncE
    and SonG WiTh allone Aka God
    in Unison wHOle as liFe
    rises hiGher
    as Love
    as Love as
    A LiGht oF LoVe
    that shines BriGhter
    than the DArk that generates
    that liGht too.. and last night.. i had
    some Young African American Boys
    with their Mothers trying their feet at
    Spiraling Dance and one of the Boys..
    Diagnosed With Asperger’s Syndrome that
    i was able to give a little more hope to the Mother
    as stuff settles out with age and experience more as even
    the original case study scientist who named the syndrome as
    such found that in longitudinal study.. not only did the children survive
    as adults.. they actually thrived once they found a niche in life they excelled
    in that they could even make a successful living at with even significant others too..
    anyway.. i dipped back in the pain of dArk and came back again with Dance and Social
    Support in so many places dipped again and the cycle of dARk comes and goes for
    now as my Mother continues to hang in tHeRE as her Doctor said there is no
    way she would be here now if not having a very strong heart and surely
    it is the Love that makes the heart tick stronger.. and the lesSon
    i will learn from this is to love even stronger as
    my Mother already lives in me..
    both in environmental
    learning way
    of love
    innate genetic
    propensity fulfilled
    now too.. even to the voice
    that carries me in song at church
    higher to the spirit bird rising up to
    Temple top liGht of Love as spiRit WinGS
    SinG a DancE of Song that will not be clipped..
    and yeah.. announcing the 27th anniversary of me
    and Katrina at the end.. and the Monsignor Priest saying
    after that.. aren’t you 30.. Katrina.. And going on to quickly
    say that i was his Tennis Buddy back in the old days of school..
    Priest not admitting he beat me.. three years my senior then.. but
    me saying clearly out loud it was you who won.. and haha.. he played by the book..
    then too..
    all the
    way.. free verse
    for me.. win or lose..
    sTiLL noW of course2..
    wRiTe oN Course aS WeLL..
    And to be clear the photo is from
    today at Ryan’s all one can eat feeding
    trough in Milton where our favorite waitress
    is joining in on the selfie fun.. as i manage a smile that comes from Love..:)

    Back in the morning after dreams to process so many emotions and memory images
    of a transit across a river to exist the pain that life can bring with Love as well
    to power us across the deepest Ocean one with it through time that is always now as
    nows go on in feeling and sensing more.. and what i noticed more than the stressed
    looks on Walmart faces is the Mothers around me expresSinG Love for their children..
    sadly can’t say i remember seeing many men doing it for their children in
    fact there were some angry growls here and there from the
    old south men when the children veered
    from their lines of sidewalks
    to restrict..
    sure.. a
    Mother is more likely
    to let her sons dance than a Father..
    and that is kinda sad as dance was the
    original art of the warrior and lover same
    for the roots of human that lived a life foremost
    with the non-verbal dance as a way to communicate from
    day to night.. with a verbal song of oral tradition to respect
    the ancestors of before and all of Nature same as holy and sacred
    full of meaning and purpose where you named a plant this and that to
    know what was good to eat and poisonous to touch and all the dARk and
    liGht that comes to Nature real with the realest pARt of all as the feelings
    and senses that human beings do give and share to relate.. and yeah.. labeling stuff
    is kinda gotten out of hand now.. literally where screens take the place in labels of
    the human touch.. smell.. taste.. feel and sense so much more than what is stuck
    in a box
    from 4
    to 60 inches
    of a virtual world
    of facts and figures and
    art as well.. so where are the sand
    castles to build these days to touch to smell
    to taste the salt air of the olden days of imagination
    and creativity unbridled in systemizing ways.. inside of course
    within.. above.. so below and all around and sure i can attempt to
    put that in words but sitting still is still a prison i must escape..
    sorry.. Candy Crush does takes one’s mind off the worries of life but it also
    removes one from the Ocean of the warm and fuzzy from the glow of human eyes
    bound by
    no distance
    space or time..
    it’s heavy stuff baby
    but it feels and isreal..:)

    Poetry and art in general focuses on the
    emotional and sensory experience of life to give
    and share and to relate in symbols that others can take..
    Dance IS A uniVerSaL creative language that needs no guidelines
    or signposts to create.. just let it go as ‘they’ say and co-create
    the steps with God as we go.. or not.. and stay more stagnate as choice
    of relative
    free will
    us to stay
    on stagnate
    sidewalks if that is what
    we like or told we must do
    and never veer from sidewalks
    prisons of the pass rule books that
    become closed as human hearts.. spirits and souls..:)

    So.. a MacroVerse to share from three years ago here..
    surely short enough to quote.. ‘YA R A Star’.. no















    together we shine
















    we retreat..

    to LOVE each other IS ALL


    counting..burning brighter




    to skeY


    a S




    together we glow and grow stronger..

    brighter and lighter..






    LOVE again













    LEAVING …….

    DARKNESS BEHIND………………………………………………………








    tHE SToNE

    “SpiRiT oF heaRT SoaRS”.. MacroVerse
    from a year ago.. discussing the rigid
    requirements of not veering from the sidewalk
    of Islam with Friend Soheir from Egypt with a common
    understanding that God Lives on a Desert Isle with no books
    or words at all..
    but somehow
    the opposite
    meaning that
    here God
    in a Book of rigid
    guidelines and can live
    no where else in rules to behold…
    Thing is.. there is a Trump born somewhere
    every moment who believes with all his or her
    or eTc.. heARt SpiRit sOUL that they know the wHole
    Truth and nothing but tHeir God Given TrUth and liGht..
    fAct is.. they are one point of liGht and TrUth WiTh God and
    God of all thAt iS Nature is all the points of LIGht and TrUTh
    and yes..
    and deceit
    as the dARk of
    that for those who
    see what thaT makes for the spiRit
    of HeARt and mINd and BoDy BaLanCinG
    soUL to seek and find more TrUth and liGht
    to beHold to give and share for those who wish to take
    and add to TrUth and liGht as another verse for the UniVerse
    beYOnd iNfinity noW as GoD wHOle.. but you see.. this is a continuing
    expanding View of God heAR.. i will not chain God in words or books or
    human alone..
    and even in church
    yesterday as the subject
    of the days was love surely
    on topic with me for now
    and forever as
    and Love
    and Truth
    and Wisdom
    with Beauty
    too and the
    Joy of
    and TrUth noW..
    the Deacon speaking the homily
    went so far that i for one have never
    heard in Catholic Church.. to say that Luke’s
    ‘version’ was better than Matthew’s ‘version’ admitting
    the book was not perfect.. perhaps unwittingly so but never
    the less so.. that’s progress looking out of at least one box..
    real progress is seeking and finding out of all the boxes as the books
    and the words and the churches and the deacons priests and pastors and even pope
    in some cases
    at least
    are not
    afraid of
    God’s science
    or art of life for more
    of a StiLL exPanDinG hUman UniVerse
    wiTh God eYes now.. the liGht knows and
    feels no closed doors of words or books or this
    or that
    the liGht iS
    allone allnow LoVE..:)

    Photo of Katrina from a year ago.. celebrating
    the “Age of Adaline”.. only a movie of course
    that was real in my case for a woman retaining
    her youthful late twenties or so at age middle forties..
    Katrina the vision of beauty and full feminine in form but
    spirit.. sure.. enough masculine will and strength in hEr full soUL
    BaLanCinG as such too.. otherwise she would have never made it through
    the test
    of me
    anyWay.. again..
    our anniversary of 27
    years tomorrow as beauty
    lives on with love always and forevermorenow..
    the greaTest gift of love my mother gifted to me..
    to capture a Beauty and Love as great as Katrina’s alive
    to give
    share FReED..:)

    How deep is your Love..
    my my.. how the song has changed
    across the ages.. and surely a reflection
    of society as the soft of love and grace of nurturing
    way has become more wham bam thank you m’am in raw sex as such
    as pop-culture surely shows now in full view of visual and music way..
    a reflection of the changing times of culture as when soft love becomes
    hard to find.. hard love becomes the find and seek as soft love escapes from view..
    easy to find this all around in pop-culture now.. as it’s true when no warm and fuzzy
    hugs of the social group are close to touch and feel all that’s left really is to ‘love
    yourself’.. and get the comfort in hard and short bursts in finding Mr. or Ms. Goodbar aS Such..
    hook-ups per say and do..
    and in places like
    young folks
    losing interest
    in even the wild thing
    with the opposite sex there..
    thing is.. Karma applies to all of Nature
    not just humans as apples to apples for there
    are bananas and oranges and birds and bees too..
    while it might seem like a hard and cruel world more
    away from soft love now.. truth is we have made it very hard
    for the other species of God’s Nature on the Planet earth to thrive
    and survive now.. and as God’s Nature goes we all reap what we do or
    do not
    it or
    lose it soft
    love applies as
    apples to appLes too..
    and surely.. Trump is Microcosm
    of the Macrocosm of this phenomenon
    as Patriarchy rears its empathy-less
    and compassionate-less snake head higher
    for survival in places of scarcity but the thing is..
    the real scarcity now is not starving death as those folks
    who vote have enough to eat.. the real scarcity is the slow
    of soft
    love of
    the touchy
    feely dancy
    singy kind that
    gives and shares it
    all for Love and Love allone..
    with empathy and compassion strong..
    for the joy and necessity of working
    and Loving togeTheR all one in a furry group
    hug that knows no fear of intimacy more than
    in or
    out or
    up and
    down quick
    stroke of hook-up love..
    so.. what’s the end result.. less
    reproduction.. in the end of the Japan
    Youth phenomenon where self love is all that’s left
    and people are pushing baby carriages with mechanical dogs inside..
    And the truth is.. no matter how hard it may seem for humans.. in the end
    result of sow and reap it is taking more from Mother Nature God same than giving
    that is
    the reap
    of less sow for
    humanity feeling
    and sensing the gift
    of Life as any social
    animal does it fully naked
    together in a balance of soft and
    hard love together.. the hell we make
    will be the hell we live but somewhere else
    on the planet.. room is left for creatures of
    God who
    by the
    rule of God
    Nature BaLancE..
    Dominate Nature and
    God and God/Nature bites back..
    as Love is the hiGhest power gifted
    to human but don’t forget God has teeth too..
    it or
    and Horatio’s too..
    unplug or not.. and get
    back with the God of Nature..
    Godzilla will sing all of his/her/eTc.. song with teeth too..
    and truth is.. it is the Trump’s with the Teeth of God as dARk Force
    of destruction
    and liGht from
    dARk that perhaps
    will come to a more deserving
    creature than human out of balance..
    are we smART enough in ArT of BaLanCinG to survive…
    as well
    enjoy liFe
    iN HeaVEn
    for those
    who seek and
    find it now.. as you
    can’t find City Hall that has no Love..
    as ‘this peace will last as long as
    it can’ and WiLLs WiTh LoVe..:)

    “So.. who am i heaR to Save”

    “Don’t be too surprised iF iT
    is not human who is the chosen
    ones as hUman WiLL make that choice
    wiTh WiLL/LoVe or NoT continUing NoW”..:)

    Yes.. i sAid that as just another one
    of God’s ‘representatives’ on eARTh..:)

    And now ending on the note of A MacroVerse Memory from two years ago
    with “Dance of the MagicK Flute” NoW as i continue an exploration of
    TrUth and liGht in Wisdom and Beauty and i must say SpRing in January
    through February of this year with all the beautiful flowers from Azaleas
    to Jasmine to Roses Red as MaGiC Love iS STiLL SinGinG and DanCinG a way
    to Beauty’s BeYoND RainBoW liGht as Love to me.. with even reports of Birds hatching
    eggs that normally does not Happen ’till
    the Easter of
    yes.. obviously it’s
    climate change that has
    killed most of Winter in the
    Florida LA Lower Alabama Florida
    Panhandle heAR.. i can’t change ignorance
    but what i can do is enjoy spRinG as a silver sliver
    lining of the DArk.. the ignorant BrinG as death
    to other species and places
    of environment
    that human
    eYes of
    God iN
    dARk Destruction
    lives a reality no different
    really than the Asteroid that made
    the Gulf of Mexico and killed off the
    Dinosaurs to make the rise of our furry ignorant
    out of Balance asses as the DARk Kali Force of Culture
    that lives out of Balance iN HuMan eYes of GoD NoW..
    you see.. theRe is dArk and briGhter
    LiGht and The ‘Church’ ideology
    that promotes the Kali DArk
    of destroying lifE LiGht
    on this
    now iN
    out of BaLanCE
    can be the Force to KiLL
    us all in the end of now
    and arise another intelligent
    species after they scorch the eARTh
    with their desires.. around 300M years or so
    after their prayer of World War III.. or we can
    continue to enjoy Heaven in the NoW of thIS KinGdom
    of God as LiGht on this eARTh NoW.. thing is.. no matter
    what for now i will Dance my Magic Flute 2017 and carry on
    way ward suns toward liGht as sentient StaR duST pLus me and
    all my FriEnds who LovE LiGht as a community of isreal illuminati
    NoW.. with no leader
    but the God
    oF liGht
    who lives
    within.. go ahead
    and worship the Kali
    God of Destruction and imbalance
    iF ya like as thAT is pArt of dARk of
    GoD iN yOur eYes too.. the life yA sow
    and reap will be the life yA live and live
    with each otHeR too.. you see.. i don’t have to write
    any of this down as the God oF aLL is StILL fully in charge
    now.. i’m just like a court reporter with hELping hints.. take it with
    a gRain
    of sand
    and be that
    grain of sand
    as holy and sacred full
    of meaning and purpose no greater
    or less than any other grAin of sand
    out of BaLancE or be the AValanche that goes away..
    your will
    alone allone
    toGeThEr or Not..
    allonELove Wins bESt is aLL i KnoW isREaL..:)

    Oh yeah.. and this was the MacroVerse where one
    of the ‘Wrong Planet’ inhabitants exclaimed that
    i was Walt Whitman reincarnated.. and yeah.. i had to Google
    him as all i really knew about him was/is we are all leaves of grass
    whole as God all that is and our soul lives isREal as our flesh.. and
    the folks at dVerse Poetry land online spoke to this free verse free nature
    dude too.. way way way ahead of his time in human freedoms that thanks to civil
    rights comes to fruition more now.. where i can publish whatever the F i like to
    express myself as priest of the Cosmos too.. God living within refusing to shut up..
    all the
    beauty of
    me free and
    naked too.. as
    any Bohemian Rhapsody
    WiLL do as Free.. hmm.. got
    a song to end hear i guess too..
    as the Bohemian Rhapsody is just another
    version of Mozart’s Magic Flute in modern age way..
    and Roll2..
    pARTy on iN
    the Kingdom of Heaven
    or not.. seek and find it..
    or not.. the gift of relative
    free will IS A double edged sWord
    of dArk and liGht chose your weapon
    ArT LoVe with WiLL or doubt wiTh Hate Fear..:)

    AnyWay.. this Bohemian Rhapsody sings reAms to me..
    as obviouSly it as all about Freddy Mercury’s struggle to
    be different from an Islam culture very adverse to different..
    particularly.. so-called different sexual orientations with Freddy’s
    obvious struggle to be free from the chains that bore him away from
    his God Given Nature.. and sooner or later whatever it is that sets you
    different from the norm which surELy in my case has always been Asperger’s
    of boy you act strange or i really wish you could give me some of your high and
    what the FucK are you on dude noW in ways of illicit drugs.. and sure.. the dArk side
    that noT a soul but your immediate family.. if you are fortunate enough like me.. want
    any part of ThAT you aT all..
    as one can be swarmed
    with love in a bed of cancer
    but a bed of invisible illness of
    depression is the cancer that is
    invisible where the homeless person
    who has schizophrenia or whatever with
    a still somewhat sturdy body is told pull
    your boot straps up on your bare Jesus feat
    and get to work young man or F iN starve to death..
    and this is the way of the so-called Modern Christian
    and sure it is the way of Kali head hunters too.. just
    in different religious guise in how they come.. Freddy won in the
    end/beginning now sTiLL.. yes Freddie Mercury as his loVe LiGht SpiRit/heARt/SoUL
    sTiLL SinGS/Dances FReED on YouTube to lift the liGht of the OutCast trUe and LiGht..
    So.. you didn’t know Freddy was Jesus.. the man who lived for only art of love..
    sorry.. you
    if you
    thought he was
    queer as there have
    been many queer Jesus’s
    in many ways
    come back
    and gone again
    and come back for more now..
    i am fortunate.. i have had one biological
    mother and two step mother’s.. one who is still
    living by the assistance of oxygen tank in Tallahassee
    too.. i’ve had older friends some of who have said i was
    a son to them as Mothers too.. for i am love and love spReads
    when liGht and the best thing of all is when i endured the suicide
    disease.. of Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia from wake to sleep for 66 months
    along with 19 total medical disorders often described in this long form poem..
    i did not end my life of worse than crucifixion pain as illustrated in the book
    my mother bought on that to prove me wrong.. best part of all is.. she didn’t see any
    of her
    go before she..
    i have no children.. only son who died..
    but i have love.. the greatest LOVE
    gift birthed in and as me by a
    Mother who never gave up
    on love
    how dARk
    her son
    the abyss of hell..
    the cancer spoke for her
    and she named me a demon
    in heaven.. but that is okay
    as she loved me when i really was a demon
    for all practical intents and purposes when love dies for 66 months…
    on when
    LIGht isReaL..
    and the Doctor gives
    her perhaps.. through the end of today….
    i guess
    be back
    or perhaps i have written
    enough and i’ll dance from noW oN.. as flesh and blood
    shines Brighter aliVe.. i’LL listen deep within for the answer to sing..
    God kNows
    feels senses
    best when sPeaks within..:)

  6. A Picture(s) tales a story of a bitter
    sweet anniversary on the 21st of
    February where now into the 7th day
    without food or water.. my Mother is still
    hanging on to her dear life to us to be with
    Katrina and i on our 27th anniversary.. sure as usual
    she proves the ‘experts’ wrong and lasts a day longer without
    even any help from oxygen either.. just her sPiRit.. juSt her heArt..
    just her soUL of Love that continues to never cease to ever give up on a
    for others
    and never her
    alone.. my mother has
    lived off of less than 500 dollars
    a month in a subsidized rental place
    for elders who are still fully independent
    for a 90 dollar rental fee a month.. an electric
    bill.. a water bill and managed still to give almost half
    her income to many different charities.. five dollars here
    ten dollars there and to her poorer family members too..
    while my father who left her for the goal of a wife who would
    bring in bucks spent the last 12 years of his life spending about
    half of his Five thousand dollar a month retirement income on Lottery
    tickets in his life long goal to get really rich.. and yes.. interestingly enough..
    my mother spent 20 years with the same income of Love forgoing any food stamps
    or supplemental social security income to bring it up.. as she simply didn’t care about
    money.. Love
    was/is always
    food and
    water and no doubt
    that is how she lived unwittingly
    with the ravages of cancer.. including
    bone cancer for close to two years.. with
    only the need for a bayer aspirin as that was
    the only pain killer she ever took.. and rarely over
    one tablet.. as her medicine was Love.. i don’t think people
    really understand the healing power of Love.. and my mother not
    only talked to it.. she exercised it and still does in FeeLinG us into our
    anniversary as love never dies when isreal.. i am the bread of life.. i am
    not Jesus.. i am Love.. Jesus spoke to the healing power of love and sadly
    so many people still consume him at communion and never find that love..
    as the communion IS A communion of love beginning and ending of
    creation of human.. a greaTest story ever lived when Love isREal..
    iN MoVinG.. ConNecTinG.. CreAtinG ways.. thing is..
    if you don’t believe it.. if you don’t seek
    and find and continuously
    practice this higher
    power of
    being that
    is Love and
    Faith one in being..
    You never get Jesus as
    Jesus and God in way of human
    hiGher power is barefoot love without
    any dollar bills at all sinking one down in
    Trump Towers that feeL and sense no isreal
    Value of Love.. If you really Love Jesus and God
    the same as one being make him love in you and bring
    him to life again.. as that Love will heal you and your loved
    ones more than any dollar bills of life.. at least when it isREAL aliVE..
    My mother doesn’t want any public eulogies of her in the local newspaper..
    she doesn’t want any ceremony for her memory.. but you see it matters not as
    most everything i write is for the power of Love and that is what my mother is.. Love..
    so.. every day and every page and every floWinG River StreAm of words is dedicated
    to that DiViNe NuRtuRinG Love of the MoTher that never ends.. Love Love as Faith as Love
    gRows to an Ocean wiTh ever exPaNdinG shores that knows and feels and senses no borders/
    Walls with other living beings and Nature whole.. and sure.. i go a step further in John 14:12
    than my Mother too as the alt right radio stations had her convinced to keep that
    Love in U.S Borders as sadly that is how hate can disguise itself when
    anyone is left out from what you can and will call
    Jesus and God Love as empowered
    iN us when isreal when
    those Matthew
    Chapter 5..
    verses 1 through
    11 ways of Love are not
    just locked inside a book.. when
    that Love comes out to play with
    all that exists in this beautiful adventure
    that can be a loving life with all.. but again..
    takes seeking finding and not only SinGinG
    But DAnCinG a LiGht oF Love to give and share
    with all.. platitudes perHaps but when all you need is
    the bread and water of Love the communion is whOle
    and all becomes Holy and Sacred FuLL of Meaning and Purpose
    as Love to share as filLed beYOnd the BRiM aS Temple of God as flesh and blood now..
    AnyWAy,, what comes what may still comes.. and we have been at the Hospital for about
    16 hours and are going back soon.. and it is a very rainy grey day.. and this makes the
    second memorial MacroVerse for a Mother who is Love.. and appropriate i WiLL also
    say in synchronicity Numerology way.. as this IS A number 77 MacroVerse of a
    “Netherland Bible 2017”.. totaling 1,153,816 words with the 76th
    Macro Verse of “Mother’s Gift Now” added in and this
    one to be named now at number 77 and also
    MacroVerse number 748 of Ocean
    whole poem still exceeding
    3.3 Million words
    to summarize
    all of what’s
    going down
    for isreal
    heRE sTiLL..
    noW as words fLoW oN..
    and sure.. i wanna publish this while
    my Mother is still alive as i have been fighting
    the polar opposite of where i can go in life with a continuing
    dance of life to keep the spirits up to fight for Love as Life.. and
    this writing is what brought my heARt.. SpiRit and soUL back to take
    away the fears of my Mother that i would never be whole again as soUL..
    and the dance goeS oN and the dance goeS oN as Mother’s LiGht as Son..
    of love
    as i dance
    and sing to
    reMaiN Love as
    that came all naturally
    to my MoThER from birth to living death..:)

    And in ending heAR with new beginnings alWays just another tribute
    to the wife and mothers everywhere as the symbol of the Goddess Isis
    was used this way as the person who always puts the chaos of life back together
    in Osiris way whole as Osiris streAMs the ‘River Styx’.. ‘TRUTH under LOVE’.. thE greATest
    TrUth and liGht is love when isREaL fuLL and overfloWinG wHOle.. It’s really trUe and liGht..
    you live
    as you love..
    love does trump hate
    and that really makes me feel
    sorry for all the Trumps in life who
    will never win a lottery ticket as great as Love..
    really sad.. so.. reAlly sad.. IS A liFe filLed less than Love foR All NoW..:)

    “Sun oF Love”

    Footnote.. the beginning and ending song
    heAr from the ‘Turn of a Friendly Card’ Album
    by the Alan Parson’s Project
    named ‘Time’
    is.. yes.. sTiLL
    mY Mother’s Favorite Song..
    Truly with Love Time Flows like
    a river with never any clock hands to hold us back from Free..
    Please Dance and Sing Love.. it is all that will save this species from demise..
    now or
    Love WinS noW..:)

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