KATiE MiA FredericK!iI: My Perspective on Life

I think I was born as a kind of classical pantheist,as I saw patterns and connections in things
that were more of my thinking process,along with the tactile sensory world,than what I think most people may experience
as an internal dialogue of thought.
“Time” by the Alan Parson’s Project:

I still have a vivid memory
of connection to everything in the world,
as if I had been here
forever,before I was able to speak
that I cannot fully put into words,from about age 3
looking out into the distanceover the river
I grew up next to.

But I think in some ways
I knew more about my existence then
than I do now,

as I could not separate myself
from what seemed

like a very old home of nature.

I am glad I had the opportunity
to roam desolate pristine beaches
as a teenager and young adult,without any fear,and feeling one in beingwith the waves,

white sand,

emerald green gulf,

sea oats and seagulls,

with no dramas in my head.

But even my ancestors could not experience that
with not being sure where their next meal
was going to come from.
Not likely that many creatures in the Universe
could experience a little slice of nirvana like that.I can remember getting back into my car
and being jolted back into the reality

of all that is the complexity of modern culture,

which at
that point
in time
 was so,
so limited
as compared
to today.I was never quite the same
after home computers came along,as I drifted further
and further

from a home
of nature.

The people I dealt with in the public
at that time,
in what was a “Cheers” like

was also a slice of nirvana.

Cigarette filled,

but the emotional contagion
of a hundred human beingsthat are happy
that I had the privilege to serve

and make even happier,

equaled the nirvana
of the walks
on the

“Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO:
I loved my exquisite sensory experience of life…It was worth
not being able to touchman made texture
without goose bumpsand an incredible feeling
of discomfort.

When I see Landon Bryce’s book,
“I Love My Own Autistic Self”,
the little guy on the front
is how I usually felt
insidethat people could only see
in the gleam
of my
eyes.People often told me
they wished they had
what it was I had,or wanted some
of the drugs I was taking,

but I had no idea what they were talking about
because there was nothing I wanted
but to exist,

for so many years…

It was a powerful feeling
that no one’s negativity
could take away
from me,
not even when the rest
of the world
told me

I was not
one of their kind.

Sorry,that was quite a tangent,but it is kind of therapeutic for me;I hope you don’t mind…

My point I started off with was religion
and classic pantheism,

which is all of nature and science for me;

the cultural complexity of what has come
from human collective intelligence,

including all the strange oddities,
even the strangest of religious cults and beliefs.

But most of all

the reality of that beach

those waves,


those grains of sand,
that do not exist

without me.

A gift,a wonderful giftthat was provided
by my father and mother,and their ancestorswhere there could be no break
in the chain of events

of human struggle

that all my ancestors experienced
to survive and reproduce,

and their rodent ancestors

about 75 million years ago,

and all the other ancestors not identified
and material substances that came together

to make that possible,

from the origin
of what is,

is, is.

one point
that I can only abstractly define
 because of the human collective intelligence

that provides the map
to what can be described,


one point

that we all share

that can never be disconnected,

as long

as we exist…

I just realized
that sounds kind of like
the intro
to the
“Big Bang Theory”
TV show…
And relatively speaking
the knowledge that I gainedthat this is one sliver
of conscious existenceand what really is
a little slice of heaven
for some that do exist,

considering just the benefit
of a warm soft bed,
a hot shower,

and things
now considered
so mundane

that took billions of years
to come into existence

that were not here

a little over
a century

like toilet paper…

But I could never experience
that connection
of what 


than when
I have everything
and everyone before me
to thank for that experience…
 Including collective intelligence
and the understanding 

of that one point
that still exists
in all of us

and everything else…

I never met a stranger,
not even a grain of sand
on the beach…

But I did not feel
a category,
a religion,

a race
or even

a gender
for myself,

which at least for me

enhanced the ability

to find a friend

in that grain
of sand.

I suppose it is
the immune system issues

and chronic pain

that has taken
some of that gleam
out of my

but it still exists
in the eyes

in what
I perceive

of the

of the cat
in my


Who at 18 years old
is likely closer
to the wisdom
of that



that only existsin my memoryand pictures…
I sense that type of wisdom
requires no human intelligence at all

beyond the core
that is shared.

I think it can be lost
so much easier
in a human
into a little sliver of hell

somewhere outside
that balance of heaven.
in lives

instant gratification

has become
the norm…

I am at the service
of my fully inside cat,
but he has never had that gleam
in his eyes,

or the same struggles
to survive.

The yellow catin my Google plus avatar
on the “Autistic Hoya” website,

was a feral cat
that only knew struggles
in his several years of life
behind our house in the woods.

Yellow Boy

He became my emotions

after chronic pain
had removed them
from my existence.

He gained
a gleam in his eyes
of gratitude

to have a balance
in his life

when we
allowed him
a place

to gain

An identical yellow cat
that likely is his offspring,

younger and stronger

appears intermittently
out of the woods

and started to injure
our now neutered cat,

racking up $200 dollar vet bills,
every other week

so the once feral cat
has now been forced

to become
a fully inside cat.

I am watching him
slowly lose

 that gleam in his eyes,

with the call of the wild
slowly drifting away,

along with all the likely
incredible sensory experiences 

that come with an outdoor world
 that the other cat 
that never gets injured 
in fights at age 18, 
can still fully experience.

As I sit outside
toward the back of my yard,
in the afternoon sun,he is pacing back and forth politely,
still with a humility of respectfor a place of subsistencethat keeps him from tearing
the screen of the patio.

Perhaps if he could speak
and let me know in words

what I was taking away from him,
I would listen.
But I cannot bear the thought
of additional bloody wounds on his face.
But still I remember
what it meansto have

that connection
and balance…

When I watch him
pace back and forth,

it is one
of the few things
in life

that will bring
a tear to my eye

that reminds me
that I too

am still

Other than that,
it could be

just a word
like Synesthesia

that seems
to trigger

in my brain

letting the brakes
off of logic

to move


“Come Sail With Me” by Styx:

At least for me,even one word
can be a giftthat leads me
to a place
in wordsthat I don’t
often visit.


KATiE MiAKind Autistics Taking in Everything Mindful in Awareness


Autistic Love
And the Science of Kindology
An Ideological First Identity

Autism, the Internet and “Ideological First Identity”, a Collection of Thoughts:http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/05/autism-internet-and-ideological-first.html
“AutisticS Peeks!”It’s Good to Hearya


Autistic Spectrum 




Visiting the Garden of  ‘Band Aid’


65 Responses to About

  1. Pingback: Will a Bridge IN LOVE ALLAHGODALLAH | KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

  2. Pleasant Street says:

    I was so happy to see how you expressed your feelings about the comments on Ricardo Andrade’s blog. Wow. I wanted to apologize for others but I know I can’t do that. Hopefully he won’t take it to heart but I really appreciated personally how you wrote that. I want to remember that the next time I might be too critical of someone’s work.

    • Hi Friend Pleasant Street..
      thanks for your kind visit here and
      comment of support.. Human Creativity to me..
      is the height of human experience..
      along with human connections
      that lead to creativity..
      and moving
      that leads
      to human
      for me as a person on the
      Autism Spectrum with extremely
      high top of the school class standard IQ
      i fail miserably in these three most important
      INTELLIGENCES that people all around me
      excel in that i have no idea how to do..
      that i will trade all that standard IQ in..
      IN a heaRtbeat.. just to truly move
      like the Athletes do..
      and connect so
      easily like
      the people
      do at
      school break
      times and physical
      education recess in
      moving team sports
      ways too.. i am
      so sad and lonely
      and people sense my
      difficulties and i am so
      strange they tell me in
      very clear ways
      that my
      existence on
      this earth is not
      worthy.. so i look
      to my immediate
      family and pets
      for support and the
      me that is so beautiful and
      i work to be a stronger boy as
      i am born very fragile with even
      neck vertebra fused before birth
      in a congenital way.. it has taken
      me so long to gain those other
      types of intelligences that
      are so important..
      so i have empathy for
      other folks who cannot see
      deeper too.. to the greater complexities
      of human empathic social intelligence that
      includes understanding deeper metaphors in
      poetic ways of life.. for me.. i always felt inadequate
      and wanted to do more.. and this fired me to greater heights
      of learning more.. but it can be very frustrating to see people
      bring other folks down.. and not understanding that
      actually they are the ones with the issue..
      just as i was before.. admitting it
      and doing all i could to
      change it..
      but anyway we live
      in a fast paced world and
      someone like Ricardo.. who may
      only have the time and inspiration to
      do a poem a month or whatever deserves
      like every human flowering to be watered..
      NOT flooded with human eyes
      darkening the light of
      human blooming
      in ways like
      this in poetry online..
      when i see poetry i see a person’s
      soul.. that souls touches me.. and i respond
      in kind.. the weakness of my youth has turned
      into the strength of never giving up.. and trying
      something new.. until finAlly i truly move
      connect and create.. and when i
      see that process being
      blocked by someone
      else.. somewhere else..
      my New STRONGER
      antlers raise UP
      and for what i’ve
      been through
      in life i
      must at least
      express dissent..
      and usually more tactfully
      than i do today.. but the thing
      is for my own mind and body
      balance after putting so much
      effort into this dVerse community
      for two years.. NOW.. i must express
      my emotions.. adequately.. as negative
      as they may be.. so i will let that completely
      go.. and continue to fly higher and higher in
      ways of ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’ flight even
      if it is all alone on this blog OR alone in the streets
      of dance as i dance with Nature as GOD.. free AS domesticated
      and wild animals.. there is much moving.. connecting.. and creating
      to do.. and much to do it with.. whether others can see and take
      advantage of that or not.. my friend.. and truly i hope they
      will and hope to at least inspire part of that WELL
      of Living WATER..
      my friend
      Pleasant Street..

  3. gigoid says:


    I read your comment over at SOHEIR’s site, where I go to keep abreast of current Islamic thought (one source,anyway….) I too am a fast, voracious reader, (since age 4; average 1 book/day for 55 years now…. It took me until age 10 to read fast enough for my purposes…) and, seem to have traveled some rather similar paths as you, at certain key points in Life…. It is nice to meet someone who has such a firm grasp of what for me would be a very consensual reality.

    I also have chronic pain, probably for different reasons than yours, but, it’s become an old familiar, if not friend…. I also have a cat, only the latest of many. She is Leelu Magicat, a now six-month old half Siamese-half Tortoiseshell Calico… She showed up one morning on my porch, demanded inside, to be picked up, & claimed me as hers by settling in and purring…. How does one ignore such a message from Bastet? She is now teaching me whatever it is Bastet believes I need to know….

    I saw you’d followed my site; I always come to see whomever does so, but, I don’t always follow, as there is only so much time, fast as I do read. However, I’ll be back, to steal from Arnie…. for sure and for certain. (to steal from a random Sackett….)

    See ya ’round WP, and welcome to Exploring Consensual Reality with me….

    gigoid, the dubious

    • Smiles.. Friend.. Thanks for stopping by.. Am out and about the Christmas shopping crowds and will definitely be by later.. to check out your site.. as i am always looking for open minds..:)

    • SoundEagle says:

      Concurring with gigoid on what we can all regard as a very consensual reality! There is always so much to read and so little time available. I also hope that you will eventually find a way to relieve your chronic pain.

      Hi FredericK, I would like to inform you that you have one of the most expansive “About” pages that I have ever encountered. Overall, it is a highly commendable effort in getting across your life experiences and insights. Your choices of music also resonate well with your general ethos and outlook, as much as your connections with science and nature, and your affinities with spirituality and pantheism have resonated with my own worldview and my understanding of your thoughts and approaches, as expressed in your writings and comments on your blog as well as on others’ blogs.

      I would like to share with you another video of “Time” by the Alan Parson’s Project:

      • Thanks so much.. Sound Eagle.. for dropping by with
        these words of encouragement.. and this
        song you share “Time” by Alan
        Parsons is an all ‘time’
        favorite of mine
        that i often
        use to express
        sentiment in the
        words i attempt to
        bring to relay feelings
        and senses about life beyond
        what might be termed more concrete
        words as the Government Employee i
        used to be in overall ‘Spock’ metaphor
        for writing technical lists without much
        color that speaks to the sublime
        in Nature that ‘technical’
        life often takes
        away in
        a metaphor
        of left verses
        right brain experience
        of life which of course again
        is just a metaphor as our mind
        is more like a Symphony full
        from an Entire Orchestra
        than sorts
        and label stickers
        and bits and bytes
        and such as that of just
        this or that musical device
        hehe.. anyway.. as this has
        become somewhat of an all
        consuming hobby.. this writing
        and dancing adventure.. i could
        go on and on and.. even forget to
        thank you for dropping by
        but i’m getting
        now at
        the ‘small talk’
        of life that truly is meaningful
        to the human connection and overall
        condition as one diagnosed on the Autism
        Spectrum learns to express over the long run of
        trials and errors in life where i suppose my Bi-polar
        Condition colors that Autism a little more than perhaps
        some folks on just one end of the numbers verses the colors of
        life experience.. and thanks too for wishing me fortune with the pain..
        and This About Section originally written and published on my Blogspot
        Blog on 3.10.13 was indeed when i was still suffering then from the pain
        of Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia from wake to sleep that finally did
        leave me at the end of July of that year which helped in the
        new found life in as life to give life to what now has
        become an over 5 Million Word Overall
        Long Form Free Verse Poem
        here as this Blog
        on Word
        that i Happily
        refer to as “SonG oF mY SoUL’..
        somewhat of a riff off of Whitman’s
        “Song of Myself” as i too share much
        of his philosophy of life expressed in
        Free Verse Poetry too that really only
        need express what’s inside that
        Naturally Flows
        with no
        Life and
        Free to be now
        on this Earth Alive
        to the best of our abilities
        to fulfill all our human potential..
        And that pain was like a Dentist Drill
        in my right eye and ear then from wake to
        sleep for 66 months.. aptly named the Suicide
        Disease by the medical profession for very good reason..
        i didn’t give up and i must admit as science minded as i’ve always
        been i created a World in Writing of a place i didn’t live that eventually
        became mine through the real Force and Power of the visualization of mind..
        And then i danced to keep the liGht on Bonfire Strength.. where i’ve found a whole
        lot of ‘Magic’
        in life
        anything i learned
        out of three degrees in
        College.. and sure.. perhaps
        some of it is naturally associated
        with so-called Bi-Polar Disorder
        and that’s okay too as that
        along with the
        just another
        Flavor of the Human
        Condition to give and share
        to others too.. hopefully with
        the brighter parts of Love as contagion too..
        No Human Being Wasted when used as Love..:)

        • SoundEagle says:

          Hello FredericK,

          Thank you for expressing and revealing more of the human conditions that you have personally experienced and crystalized in your journey through life. I can sense that you have an acute awareness of how far you have come, and that your humanity is palpably heightened, transformative and even profound.
          As I read your reply to my earlier comment, I am listening to “Ammonia Avenue” by the Alan Parson’s Project whilst typing out a reply to you:

          This song has some stylistic similarities with some of the more lyrical pieces by the band called “Chicago”.

          • SMiLes.. my FriEnd.. thanks so much
            for sharing “Ammonia Avenue” from
            Alan Parsons with me.. been a while
            since i listened to it but it very
            much fits the Song
            of My
            at this
            point in ‘time’..
            as deeper soul..
            it took me a very
            long time to play
            life by ear.. a
            of wanting
            heART ‘then’..
            my so-called
            Intellectually Disabled
            First Cousin on my
            Mother’s side
            who played
            piano by ear
            and my other First Cousin
            on my Father’s Side who could
            do the same with any song on many instruments he
            heard before.. i would have given up all of my straight
            A’s to Sing a Song of life Free like this.. then.. now..
            some ways i did and even do more as i no longer
            follow the
            lines of
            book.. now
            i play by ear
            by sKeYes
            my dream as
            Child is now reality..
            i really never wanted any
            money.. just a SouL wHo WiLL Dance and Sing.. LOVE..
            sure.. it helps to be financially independent too with wiNks..
            no longer

        • SoundEagle says:

          Hi FredericK,

          Is it somewhat uncanny that the YouTube video that I, namely SoundEagle, just shared with you has the image of an eagle!

          I particularly like how you ended your previous comment with

          hopefully with
          the brighter parts of Love as contagion too..
          No Human Being Wasted when used as Love..:)

          Now, let Love be the contagion with (or via) my special post at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/soundeagle-in-april-love-and-dove-art-and-heart-game-and-puzzle-music-and-video/

          • Mixing Technology
            And heART
            Expanding Horizons
            Thanks for Sharing..
            And as far as Eagles
            go i often find
            hehe.. at the
            Dance Hall i
            frequent there is an
            Eagle with the name of Fred..
            surprisingly.. i too became FReED..
            And by A way tHeRe IS A FRiEnD iN Fred..;)

  4. Fascinating to try and follow all your thoughts. There is such a fountain of creativity within you. Hope there will be less pain too as your blog really seems to laugh and smile.

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  7. Your blog and writings are incredible. Funny thing: I just started following you, and went to check my email, only to find that you started following me! How did we know??

    • Hi.. purplepeninportland..
      so happy to see you drop by
      here on the about section of my blog..
      a little top heavy it is.. hehe.. where some
      folks with slower computers and Internet connections
      cannot open me up here.. as i am rather multi-media
      and wordy intense.. to the max yes.. as i was once in a
      very bad place.. escaped that and give my life as gift
      in all the human potential i find..
      and approaching 4 million
      words now in this blog
      in a little over three years
      now by a few days.. with close to
      60 to 70K photos and thousands
      of videos encased in what i name
      as ‘SonG of My SoUL’ now
      696 verses as
      the one i am currently
      working on.. this is not everyone’s
      cup of tea.. unless they are hugely
      patient and interested in a very broad
      point of view.. with a great deal of satire
      over decades of what i have come to learn
      in life.. that is reasonably offensive to some
      i would think and feel too.. but what i’ve found in
      life is the best lessons others taught me were the
      hardest to believe at first.. mileage varies.. and at age
      56.. i’ve renewed my life to truly cheap thrills of the
      only way i can describe as a real heaven now..
      i share it all just ’cause i can and will..
      and that my friend is the
      greaTest gift i kNow..
      Can and WiLL witH
      Fearless Love for
      all as holy and sacred sAMe..
      it works for me @lEast and alWays
      worth sharing to the max in all i do..
      i alWays follow folks who follow me..
      but i really only have time to follow dVerse
      along that trail and have truly never even looked
      at the reader list.. but surely i will see you again
      at dVerse.. my FriEnd.. you always bRing a positive
      liGht there that i enjoy seeing.. and you have always
      been kind to me.. with nice responses that always help to
      make my day a light one.. i appreciate that and hope the best for you..:)

  8. This is to inform you that I have shifted my blog to shiningtheory.com and you could have received a subscription mail which is not a scam.
    Please follow me again, and I regret the inconvenience caused to you.
    From My Theory.

  9. What an impressive about section. Happy to have stumbled upon your blog!

    Much love & cares.

    Your new reader,

  10. Pingback: 1.82M WorD LOnG FoRM PoEM BiBlE CoMeS AGAiN | KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

  11. Pingback: The Happyness Project – Aug 12th | Decoding Happyness

  12. Pingback: The Happyness Project – Aug 15th | Decoding Happyness

  13. Himali Shah says:

    Thank you for making my day a happy day !!! 🙂 xx

  14. Pingback: SonG oF mY SoUL FouR YearS Old | KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

  15. Pingback: The Happyness Project – Aug 21st | Decoding Happyness

  16. Quite some thoughts you’ve shared here!
    Every individual is unique and our uniqueness should be our strength.
    You are so confident about your uniqueness and that alone makes you stand out strikingly.
    Your creativity and the way you connect everything is amazing and laudable.
    Keep up the good work!

  17. Pingback: Colors of friendship | Decoding Happyness

  18. Thank you. The beach is there, the grains of sand and the gulls, even when you aren’t. I know, because I’m looking after it for you 🙂

  19. Anna says:

    Beautiful indeed. I can relate.

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