13 Responses to Heaven is aLike aLL Over sTiLL noW

1. katiemiafrederick says:

   February 27, 2017 at 2:44 PM

   YeS.. it’s trUe.. Baby
   Giggle Duels
   Trumps
   a do
   oF wiNnie
   the Pooh
   in Modern
   White
   out
   house view..
   heHe.. as you say..
   out of planned chaos.. Glenn..
   OMG.. A Prompt with a Giggle..
   44 words.. less or more.. at dVerse.. i say now..
   i’LL veriLY surELy be back for more.. oF thiS oNe2..;)

   Reply
2. katiemiafrederick says:

   February 27, 2017 at 5:08 PM

   HeHeX2… yeP.. back for A Giggle
   prompt at dVerse online Poetry Pub..
   and i guess if i were any more responsible
   than Peter Pan.. i would be catching up on what
   now is 10 whole MacroVerses behind on copying
   and pasting for all free back-up text on Personal
   Facebook Page and two other Facebook Pages too..
   where the last 79th MacroVerse named “Heaven is aLike
   aLL over sTiLL noW”.. added in for “Nether Land Bible 2017”
   stARTinG back on Memorial Day of 2016.. now equals a grand
   total per DancE and SinG aS as Say oF 1,189,090 words now..
   hmm.. last updated Backup
   MacroVerse
   was/is the
   69th one..
   actuAlly titled..
   “Nether Land Bible 2017”..
   way back then at the 1,052,137
   word count point.. so with general
   subtraction aWaY in head count
   way that makes about 137K words
   to copy and paste three times for a total
   of 411K words across three Facebook Pages..
   like i sAid.. aLong with this new MacroVerse heaR
   as paRt oF A LonGesT lonG form Poem free verse
   on Google effort ever too.. at 3.3 Million words
   plus per this upcoming now 751st MacroVerse
   noW as 80th MacroVerse of “Nether Land
   Bible 2017”.. too.. oveRAll naMed NoW
   “SonG of My soUL”.. as
   Ocean wHole
   Poem too..
   yes.. finishing
   thaT thOught like i sAid
   if i was/am reAlly more responsible
   than A Peter Pan.. perhaps.. i would now
   engage in the mechanical cognition as staRt
   of copying and pasting all of that too.. but heHe..
   nah.. rather do free verse poetic expressions about
   giggles instead.. as that is what free does.. jUst flows liKe
   StreAmS into RiverS as Ocean WaveS to shoreS more
   Abundant wiTh smARt.. Fearless UNconditional Love
   iN juST moRe MoVinG.. ConNecTing and
   Co-Creating with God oF Nature
   all that is now even more..
   And sure.. i’LL get
   around to
   the oTher thing
   when i do.. do do..that.. too..
   but for now.. some more Giggle
   liNks from dVerse for juST more FuN..
   and speaKing of Fun.. a reminder to me
   that this Thursday Dance with all the cool college age
   folks.. is my 150th week of doing that too.. along with
   what is still coming to be about 7,000 miles of public
   metro area dance around the 2017.. Spring Equinox coMiNg too..:)

   SMiLes.. my friEnd.. Lillian.. iS
   not much liKe
   A Porcupine
   to quiLL
   fEar
   wiTh huMor
   oF pinS and needLes
   aLL Natural witH Poetic Love PeN..;)

   Giggle with.. Giggle aT.. all
   the difference
   in whether
   A Emperor
   feels and
   senses liFe
   with or without cultural clothes..
   sure.. laugh at me.. laugh with me..
   juST Laugh while i giggle and google all
   inside
   and
   outside too..;)

   DoWn in these pARts
   girl giggles are a thing
   of the past and
   present
   allowed
   in school
   and on the
   playground too..
   Thanks God Boys can
   actually Giggle now too..
   as who the F can take reaLiTy
   seriouSlY now.. Trump it with a Giggle
   is all
   tHeRe
   is left to do..;)

   You bRinG to miNd MorE A TrutH and liGht
   thaT jusT thE WORlD giggle has an iNfinite
   number oF esSences aS FeeLinGs
   And SeNSeS and tHaT
   mY friEnd iS
   liKe A
   cat
   in
   A
   Google
   HaT anD
   iS NoW whY
   i for one caLL
   GoD A Laugh/gigglE
   as essence is alWays
   bigger than A word of hUman.. Google..;)

   A greaTest Giggle..
   a sMiLe on a Dog’s Face
   at play no different
   than a human
   fully
   relaxed
   A w A Y
   from worry..
   never own wiTh
   froWn alWays Love to Give..:)

   Nah.. my
   friEnd.. noThing
   Giggles now about
   institutionalized
   and religiousized rape..
   dress up owning people
   as cattle in any color
   other than
   free
   and
   all that’s
   left is slave labor
   in all the ways that liVes
   as less than liFe can and
   WiLL Be..FReeDoM NoW..:)

   Hello
   mY friEnd..
   perHaps A Saddest
   pARt of liFe is when
   our sMiLes of LiFe NoW
   are not accepted togETher as
   LoVinG Understanding IS A greaTest
   Gift oF aLL noW iN the diVersity trUe
   of BeinG hUman now.. as thaT liGht Now..
   A Best pARt of FreedoM as ExpresSinG noW
   getting to kNow and feeL and seNse everyone
   wHeRe
   more
   Giggles
   WiLL be
   shared for
   A CommonaLiTy oF Love..
   Tree oF LiFe aLL Leaves riSe..:)

   WeLL.. now for Dinner and ExXtreme
   Strength Training and Dance at the gym..
   hmm.. all i need IS A TheMe song but for now
   these words WiLL do As MeMe DancE and SonG too..;)

   2.27.2017 6:06 pm..:)

   Reply
3. frankhubeny says:

   February 27, 2017 at 5:09 PM

   Nice video of the cat and ducklings. I also liked the quote from Isaiah 49:14-15. Thanks for bringing these to my attention.

   Reply
   • katiemiafrederick says:

     February 27, 2017 at 5:14 PM

     Hello.. Frank.. thanks so much
     for stopping by with thanks
     for the Cat and
     Ducklings
     Nurturing
     Loving Video
     and what truly does
     mean a continuous Nurture
     from God same as A Mother in
     Isaiah 49:14-15.. in Older Testament
     way sAMe as now testament reaLiTy
     as to be conNecTING iN MoVinG Co-
     CreATING ways with God all
     that is is to be allone
     and never
     alone
     my friEnd.. see you
     soon at your Poetry place too..:)

     Reply
4. katiemiafrederick says:

   February 28, 2017 at 10:09 AM

   On Lonliness 

   SMiLes.. Now..
   my friend.. Rafiah..
   for we are social
   animals and verily
   that is science too..
   And Loneliness is an emotion
   that signals us that we must continue
   to extend our handS even further for this
   IS A rule of God and Science and Nature sAMe..
   tHeRe is no
   escaping
   who and
   what
   and
   wHeRE
   we are aLivE
   as being human
   or trying to escape
   our nature as social
   beings oF liGht
   expreSsinG
   SpiRit
   as
   EmoTioNs
   of HeaRt as soUL
   of MiNd and BoDy BaLanCinG
   NaTuRE togETher as more than juST
   one.. sure.. easier SAid than dOne.. as
   considering how much liGht in DancE
   And SonG i emit in each day.. the give
   is more than return in any given day by far by far
   by far.. and the truth is.. by birth and by environment in
   restrictions of what is that is.. some of us have to try harder.. even
   to the extent of an Olympic athlete of the greatest muscle of Love…
   All Depression IS A signal from God to get up or keep falling.. keep falling
   keep falling some more.. and so sad when the cultural environment makes it so
   hard to hold hands with all others free as small villages will do when free.. all i can
   DancE SinG my friend is.. i’m heAR.. willing to hold your internet hand.. and i don’t thiNk that’s
   against
   your laws
   wHere you live
   as far as i kNow
   and feeL and Sense
   surELy not
   in the
   place wHere i
   live free within.. for this gift
   of life worth still extending a Hand of Love..
   my friEnd Rafiah.. never give uP as truly tHeRE iS togeTheR
   only do and no trY aS even Yoda says in this Love of/for Life..:)

   Reply
5. katiemiafrederick says:

   February 28, 2017 at 10:32 AM

   Memories are emotions
   Emotions are memories
   and for those of us who are ‘severely’ happy
   and have experienced ‘severely’ depressed..
   two dimensions of life that is.. and surEly VeriLY
   a spectrum as sHades of Grey
   to abyss
   of
   paper
   thin ash existence
   and beYond rainbow colors
   too.. i’ve been traveling back across
   the river Styx ever since my mother fell
   catastrophically ill.. as in every stop along
   that river in my past my mother was the first
   and last to hold my hand and often the only one..
   particularly much earlier in life wHere i had no idea
   truly how the inner human Universe of me would go or come..
   in either dArk
   or liGht
   and
   the ’round
   of that BeYond
   and below abyss of miss..
   the place i’ve been in.. yes.. the dimension
   whole of the last 42 months or so has been one of
   almost pure beyond rainbow liGht.. a place of no fear..
   a place of all give.. and a place of no fear of loss.. Nirvana.. the
   Kingdom of Heaven within.. wHEre no tears are shed but for the joy of Life
   even in loss of loved ones along the way.. Mother too much to bear..
   for me at least.. to avoid traveling back on the dArk roads of ‘fore..
   and more than anything else.. it reinforces what i have lEarned
   as an individual on my journey and multi-branching
   paths of life of what works for me and
   what will not work for me..
   for free works for
   me.. if i was still
   a slave
   to the
   demands of others
   at a job of subsistence upon
   whatever the whim of the moment
   of others were in the decades then..
   recovery would be hard to almost impossible
   as the inner Universe must be gardened with focus
   away from problem solving mechanical cognition life
   in a way that humans are not even wholly evolved to live
   now as it is a manufactured life of standard IQ that we live now..
   for only a relative few centuries in the scope of being human for a couple
   hundred thousand years on this planet now.. in small groups wholly depending
   on each other in measure of touchy feely love of cooperation to survive and thrive
   to make the measure at the end of the day of forage in survive and even thrive
   in a dance
   and song
   of life
   together
   free.. and that
   is what families do.. perhaps
   only two in a nomad way of nuclear
   family to be or not in our new ways of
   moving where the jobs are.. even
   in global
   fashion now..
   is it part of our Nature
   to do this at hand.. hell no..
   it’s way beyond a village of life
   for togetheR that glues success
   of Love.. in touchy feely way..
   away from love it is
   aS even science
   shows..
   that mechanical
   standard IQ activities to
   the exclusion of the human social
   touch withers away a pipe of Love no different
   than a backed up Septic Tank of solving problems with
   no end and never now as simple as getting something to eat
   and a FucKinG group hug.. with eYes and Hips of furry that KNow
   FeeL and SenSE no separation.. how advanced we are.. depends
   on how far a sMiLe can travel today.. or how many times two pairs
   of eYes meet in Love for the day of Unconditional Fearless Love..
   tHeRe is no drive thru for love only stay a little while longer.. please..
   so.. i’ll bounce back.. i am bouncing back for i’ve the tools of Love at Hand
   in both art of language and movement that sooner or later does connect me to
   others and more importantly exercises the greatest muscle oF all.. the HeARt of Love
   that feels and senses more as luminous beings who shine.. giVing shaRing a Love oF LiGht mOre..:)

   Reply
6. whippetwisdom says:

   February 28, 2017 at 3:03 PM

   I hope you are keeping well dear friends and I had never seen a cat care for ducklings before, what a wonderful sight!☺💖 xxx

   Reply
   • katiemiafrederick says:

     February 28, 2017 at 5:35 PM

     SMiLes.. my friEnd.. Xenia..
     The Ducklings Nurtured by
     Cat.. is a warm and fuzzy
     Treasure find from a Facebook
     share as a best pART of
     Facebook is
     The innocent
     Spirit of
     The
     Entire Animal
     Kingdom tHeRe..
     WiNKs.. including
     Humans.. now..
     A to Z plUs..
     Hugs..
     Again
     With.. SMiLes..:)

     Reply
     • whippetwisdom says:

       March 1, 2017 at 3:36 AM

       ☺💖🐾🐾

       Reply
       • katiemiafrederick says:

         March 1, 2017 at 3:37 AM

         :)!!

         Reply
7. katiemiafrederick says:

   February 28, 2017 at 11:51 PM

   “Mementos from Mother Helen”..
   yes.. spent all day at my Mother’s
   home with my Sister and Katrina and
   Katrina’s Sister Kim and our friend Judy
   from back at the Bowling Center working days
   and also a fellow employee Judy was with Katrina
   at the Local Press Gazette Newspaper.. our roots truly
   run deep in this community.. as my Great Uncle Charles as family
   history records that seems to be different from official history
   but never the less.. it said that Great Uncle Charles..
   a first settler on Navarre Beach with
   his Father.. my Great Grandfather
   Edward Robbins
   way way back then..
   actually named it..
   and Edward..
   according
   to family history
   named Oriole Beach..
   haven’t seen it in the official
   history books but anyway.. first settlers
   they were in the most beautiful pARts of the
   County for sure with my Grandmother and two
   Great aunts too.. when Edward took the ferry into
   Pensacola to his job then.. and brought back the
   groceries to the Peninsula of Lower Santa
   Rosa County by the Gulf.. anyway.. the
   headliner Memento heAR..
   is me at age 22
   all bearded
   running
   a race of life
   as a perfectionist in
   many OCD-like ways..
   coming off a serious.. almost
   year long depression at age 21
   with a lift here.. wHere i might look
   like i never had a problem in my life and
   haha.. who would believe by this photo that
   yes.. all my life.. i’ve been on the Autism Spectrum
   for what they name as Asperger’s Syndrome and nah..
   it will not be hard to believe at all per stereotypes of that
   disorder if one views this coming 751st Macro Verse of Ocean
   wHole Poem.. yes.. now named ‘Mementos from Mother Helen”..
   also now what will be the 80th MacroVerse of “Nether Land Bible
   2017’.. as already talked to earlier in another MicroVerse word total
   subtotal of what will eventually be just another Grand Total of words
   in MacroVerse way.. and after my Mother and My Sister and Me all
   Graduated this year of 1983 from the University of West Florida..not
   too long after this Bay Bridge Fun Run.. hehe.. where.. hmm.. it looks
   like i’m in the lead here.. haha.. as that dude behind me.. really
   looks like a serious runner.. hehe.. but nah.. somewhere
   in the top of the pack but not nearly first.. as hey..
   only been back into running about 6 months
   or so here.. on the 10K and
   5K Regional
   Circuit
   of run for fun
   and all the health
   benefits that go along with
   that.. and nah.. my knees and
   hips and feet won’t do the run anymore..
   and i must admit the dance overall is much more
   bliss than run as all body parts go in basically all directions
   for total head to toe fitness.. but i did dance too.. kinda shook
   my butt too.. but never ever raised my arms above my head..
   as i was too afraid back then to do that.. hehe.. even though
   after i earned my third degree that year in December of 1983
   and was doing some graduate work too with at one point three part
   time jobs.. simultaneously.. i remember a 25 year old girl asking me..
   what are you.. Superman.. same as an eventual co-worker called me that
   later on for my efforts at work too.. super achiever making it through all odds..
   including non-speaking Autism until age 4 and lifelong Bi-Polar and around eventually
   19 life threatening synergy of illnesses in 66 months of hell to get to here.. if this is what
   it takes to be Superman.. i wouldn’t wish the darker paRts on anyone but me to get to where
   i am now.. the Kryptonite is gone now.. once again.. for now.. as spending the day with all
   my Mother’s Memories as mementos in her home brought the emotional healing
   to open them all up and process them.. i needed most today.. and that
   reminds me.. the Military Hero.. who has been helping
   me through.. dealing with this at the gym..
   notified me yesterday that he
   just got notified that
   he has stage
   2 Melanoma..
   so.. it was my turn
   to console him as he confided
   that he couldn’t stand anything that
   spells weakness in his life.. and that as
   he was an Enlisted Vietnam Vet and eventually
   Commodore of a Navy Station.. he was really good
   at compartmentalizing his emotions out.. and that was
   exactly what i was doing my best not to do.. as i did it so good
   through fight and flight stress at work that i lost them eventually all
   together.. to the point i could not remember what a smile felt like
   or if i ever felt a belly laugh as when emotions go away
   there is no reference point as emotions
   are memories and memories
   are emotions
   that are
   the glue of all
   cognitive executive
   functioning in both focus
   and short term working memory
   and to get that all working together
   as a finely tuned Ferrari.. along with integration
   of senses to go along with regulation of emotions
   sure.. 12 million words eventually come and a Bible one
   a half times as big as that old King James Version in 9 months
   with this 80th Macro Verse heAR.. but you kNow.. if you do view this
   MacroVerse and see wHere i come from.. where at one point.. the McDonald’s
   Cashier mistook me for a girl at about 12 or 13.. and sure.. i’ve got the photos
   to make you believe it.. coming as mementos of photos stored at my Mother’s home
   too.. and when they tell you as you talk so strange and move so strange and wear
   your hair and your clothes so strange that you don’t deserve to exist.. you either
   become Superman or you FucKinG Give up.. thing is.. My Mother never ever
   expected us or limited us in whatever we wanted to be.. she never
   told me i couldn’t be Superman.. just like she never told
   me back then that i wouldn’t be able to do
   #John1412.. as what were you
   expecting.. someone to
   come back
   to actually
   fly and walk
   on water and raise
   people from the dead
   and steer bombs away
   in sky from Nuclear Destruction
   like a frigging movie or a myth.. nah..
   3.3 Million words pluS as Ocean whole Poem
   in 42 months.. 12 million words in 6 years..
   6666 miles of Public Metro Dance in 40 months..
   approaching 7 thousand miles close to the Spring
   Equinox of 2017 in a little over 42 months too.. and this
   “Nether Land Bible 2017”.. now at 1.189090 Million Words
   and that’s what a continuing Human Storm of DARk and liGhT
   will Fruit when one never FucKinG gives up on the race of life.. no
   matter what.. and does tHeiR best to Thank God for tHeRe life for a
   race
   that
   counts
   more than
   ever before..
   juST a challenge for
   YOU to do more.. if YOU
   really believe what the so-called
   Jesus Dude said is really possible
   for human now.. with 100% Faith
   as Fearless SmARt Hope and Love
   noW.. tHERe are no limits.. THeiR are
   no expectations and thEre are no tries but jusT do it NoW
   sure..
   in Victory
   over Vengeance
   for those who gave
   up and became a bully instead of
   Supermen and Superwomen and SuperEtC2..
   TRumPinG Bullies every now.. With LoVinG LiFE alWays noW..
   and nah.. didn’t make a frigging Lincoln Penny off of any of it as
   this reward of life as gift is beyond all tools that human make as idols of life..
   including
   words
   as the
   essence
   is the full
   100% Pure liGht of Love..
   as simple reward of Heaven now..
   takes work though baby.. a lifetime of work
   that never ends as perfection of practice and never perfect..
   as
   now
   goeS oN..
   And hehex2.. it’s
   worth noting.. thaT
   Body was 60Lbs ago.. too..
   at 170Lbs back in ’83.. and
   it remained that way for years
   to come.. no matter what i ate until
   hmm.. about when i got married in ’90
   at 190Lbs and now at 230Lbs.. or so..
   i reAlly did love to run..
   ran track in high school
   too.. for over a decade
   more but dance has so
   many more benefits
   as the
   record
   continues to prove..:)

   Facebook Friend Rafiah drops
   by for a short quick sweet note..

   Freddy, I see you..:)

   And i return somewhat
   mischievously by saying back again..

   Hey… it
   Took this..
   To get Even
   Katrina to
   See
   Me..;)

   Copy of a MicroVerse
   as shared on Facebook
   too.. from a year ago..
   as what remains when
   i dance the beach
   in photo
   way
   too all flow
   all spiral
   Golden
   PHI
   1.618
   mean
   aS Such in ratio style2..;)

   So.. what kind of animal
   leaves prints on the beach..
   that resemble lines of waves
   as they shore the beach.. what kind
   of animal.. flows like the MilkYway
   in Golden Spiral Phi.. that too..
   are lines of waves
   as they shore
   the beach..
   should iT be obvious..
   sure iT should be second
   Nature to flow as God.. now..
   as water and beach become
   one Force oF balance beach
   and human
   sAMe.. when
   one becomes
   water.. ocean..
   waves.. and
   shore line all iN oNe
   ForCe noW..
   the result iS
   simple..
   HEAVEN
   NOW ALL FREE.. iS…
   i could show ya how to
   juSt do iT.. but only you
   can do iT..
   as iT iS an
   inside.. outside..
   all around now..
   above so below..
   juSt Do iT JoB.. now
   wheRe Form oF God
   naturAlly reflects the
   essence of aLL that iS
   that iS God from
   top to bottom
   oF inFiniTy
   morenowoneforeverforonenowmore…:)

   She Wolf Lives

   And a MacroVerse memory way way back
   from 3 years ago as “She Wolf Lives”..
   as i go a ‘little’ further than only running
   or dancing too aS expreSsing the Golden
   Spiral Phi as essence come in form
   of juST anoTheR
   Temple
   of God
   who has
   come to
   Move as
   the Pattern of God
   aS UniVerse more.. above
   so below.. inside.. outside.. all around..
   and even come as essence of human form too..:)

   Lazarus and a Beer

   Lazarus and a Beer.. yes.. documenting Spring cleaning by
   the wife Katrina.. even going as far as washing windows..
   last year in this Memorable MacroVerse way
   too.. and sure more than
   that with
   a real time
   story now
   of
   Lazarus and a Beer
   as fully reported in the MacroVerse heaR..;)

   A quote as my first deeper meaning poetic
   remark on Facebook ever on March
   1st.. 4 years ago on
   Facebook..
   as the private
   message i shared with
   my first Facebook then
   at the end of February
   that ended up becoming
   my first Perspective pre-Macro
   Verse post in Google Blogspot way
   on March the 10th..2013.. anyway it began
   on Facebook with the quote as copied below..

   Kind Autistics Taking In Everything Mindful in Awareness
   Autistic Love
   And the Science of Kindology
   An Ideological First Identity

   Sure.. a creative acronym take on
   the phrase KATiE MiA.. as not only
   a version of my wife’s first and middle
   name.. but also a way of looking at the World
   wHeRE the Present is more Gold that past and future..
   in all FeeLinG and SenSinG way of liFe more than jusT words
   as Physical and Emotional Intelligences beCoMme regulated mOre
   as sensory integration too.. in ways of MoVinG.. ConNecTing and
   CreaTinG even more free from head to toe more too.. wHere we
   also create an iDeology bY Director.. ‘i’ as actor.. ‘I’..
   producing that actor with plenty exclamation point!
   SpiRit eXpreSsinG heaRt of Kind as study
   of Kind in Kindology way too.. in
   yes.. a miNd
   and BoDy
   BaLanCinG
   fuLLeR soUL way too..
   wiTh bottom line to top
   of the lines of Fearless
   smARt Unconditional LovE NoW2..:)

   And that’s about it for this MicroVerse
   pARt of MacroVerse whOle Ocean Whole Poem
   And “Nether Land Bible 2017.. as WeLL..:)

   Reply
8. katiemiafrederick says:

   March 1, 2017 at 1:36 PM

   Lofty goals, impudent desires….

   Hello.. gigoid.. been taking care of business
   with the passing of my mother and
   will be.. for awhile.. but wanted
   to come by
   for your more
   intense effort here
   at least.. to drop a ‘few’ lines..
   Hope you are doing well out there
   in the Big Blue Room of Oxygen as you
   say and hope the
   air out
   there is
   breathable in
   all of human ways…

   “…life is long enough if it is well-spent.”

   ~~ Erasmus ~~

   As science shows now.. life
   is only as long as the depth of the
   emotional and sensory mindful and
   bodiful awareness of the present of the moment..
   and sure..
   sometimes
   words get
   attached
   to that reality
   of experience.. helpful
   or not.. as liGht and dARk
   grows or not with all the potential
   sHades of grey attached to the
   complex tool of words
   that humans
   often
   grow to
   be beyond the
   essence of experience
   of emotions more regulated
   and senses more integrated
   and self actualization to highest
   summits of Maslow’s hierarchy as
   Pyramid as well as Fowler’s
   Pyramid of Faith
   from Myth
   to Agape Love
   for all that iS in what
   some folks name God in
   many different languages and
   metaphors through all of history
   and indicated as artifacts of long ago too..
   social animals bind.. togeTheR using all
   tools available as far as humans go as science sHows too..:)

   “There is nothing like death.
   To it, everything is a metaphor.”

   ~~ Subtle Bee ~~

   SMiLes.. my friEnd.. trUe.. unless as you say
   there IS A great adventure after Death and it’s
   worth noting again that about 1 percent of the
   population is born innately evil in terms
   of gaining tHeir only pleasure
   from harming others
   as the brain
   is basically
   FucKeD uP at Birth..
   in this way.. so.. if there is no
   rhyme and reason or true
   meaning and purpose
   to whatever existence
   noW is is beyond
   material reductionism
   and as science shows above
   reflects below at the Sagan level..
   the 800LB Gorilla in the room is the
   still mystery of human consciousness as
   the rider of the Camel and the Elephant
   that we hold dear as the words we say
   to express all of what we sentient sTar
   dust plUs notice about life above
   the camel
   and
   elephant of
   what lies and tales
   the truth below.. scientists are so
   far behind on the inner realities of
   the human experience of conscious awareness
   in repeatable experiment way and so far away from
   measuring even the tiniest paRts of ReaLITy beyond
   subatomic flow.. sure.. wish for a great adventure but
   the reality is.. the energy both in material reductionism
   and what we worship and praise as holy and sacred Rational
   Consciousness above the Camel and the Elephant that science
   now proves are the emotions and the senses that rule all rationality
   at our verbal level of navigating our realities in song over dance as
   priorities come more in recorded intelligence way in written language
   and complex cultures and burial ceremony flowers.. same as 30 thousand
   years ago.. what remains now is what binds us now.. and in terms of original
   Greek etymology.. my friEnd.. in all the ways that comes in material reductionistic
   view or myth and magic and Nocebo Voodo and Placebo Prayer.. what Binds us
   toGeTheR otherwise known as the term religion is what binds us toGether as
   essence..
   no matter
   what the
   ritual is that
   comes next.. hehe..
   posting every day on blogs
   or twice a week.. come hell or
   high water or whatever comes next..
   in other words.. my friEnd.. once you
   remove all these words.. the essence remains..
   and if Positive energy in the Universe attracts Positive
   energy in the universe and Negative energy in the Universe
   attracts Negative energy in the Universe and as Sagan and ‘others’
   say we are Sentient Star duST plUS aRiSinG from Crucible of Star
   DeAth Burst and Resurrection of those gaseous duSts into
   StAR duST uS sentient plUS now.. i WiLL
   DancE/SinG go for the positive and juST Do
   iT or end up
   in the
   1 percent
   later on and perhaps
   be a politician.. a priest
   of even a philosopher or two
   who don’t understand that rationality
   at most is still a present now ruse..
   and surely.. the muse of essence2..
   is what continues to make the news@6
   as EmoTioNs and SenSEs do continue
   to rule the Science of being human now for
   the little science does KNoW about the bigger picture
   and much bigger picture UniVersaL miNds eYes Views..
   iN other wordS it’s kinda silly not to be joyous about the miracle of liFE
   now
   if one
   can and
   wiLL and jusT
   do iT of course..
   alWays easier sAid
   in words thaN what
   comes in essence neXT..
   and usuAlly thAT paRt of what
   i fiNd is best regulated and integrated
   in that miracle of the present of now
   with a totAlly non-verbal dance oF
   liFE as that present of NoW..
   no confusion
   of words
   my
   friEnd
   all the Joy of Life noW..
   hehe.. @leASt for me
   as i for one inherit
   that present
   as
   now..
   Here’s.. A thing.. my friEnd..
   the only adventure for
   me is now..
   don’t need
   no promises
   or fictional myths..
   iN this heaven @least
   for me.. is only now.. i inherited it.. what more could
   i ask for.. from dARker space and empty cold and hot rocks..
   i’ll make
   it all a piece
   of cake now and don’t
   even need no icing.. later on.. my friEnd..
   juST.. ’cause.. i can and will and do it now..
   and if that makes me a chosen
   one and
   reality
   ain’t fair..
   perHaps i did make
   this reaLiTy now from
   way way back then by simply thennow
   never ever giving up on the positive now..
   and i’m not stupid enough to say i KNoW anything.. my friEnd..
   but i am smART enough to feeL iT aLL and seNse iT all iN the beauty
   and wisdom
   of
   experience
   now.. juST alive now..
   mindfully and bodily aware
   as ‘they’ say in the present of now..:)

   “You’re not ready for what I think.”

   ~~ Fox Mulder ~~

   Here’s another thing.. my friEnd..
   when one kNows nothing and feels
   and senses all now instead.. nothing anyone
   else says.. now.. can get ya down at all.. as one
   realizes beyond words that’s the ruse and the buzz is the heaven within..
   and man..
   it takes a
   lifetime as far
   as i don’t kNow
   to get here my friEnd..
   particularly riding elephants
   and camels like more of what
   underLies me for ONE as trUth..
   aS liGht
   out of dARk..:)

   “History does not record anywhere at any time
   a religion that has any rational basis.
   Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough
   to stand up to the unknown without help.
   But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion
   and spend time and money on it
   and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.”

   ~~ Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love (1972) ~~

   Hmm.. wiNKs.. reference
   back to the ‘last’ thiNks..;)

   “But a short time elapsed after the death
   of the great reformer of the Jewish religion,
   before his principles were departed
   from by those who professed to be his special servants,
   and perverted into an engine for enslaving mankind,
   and aggrandizing their oppressors in Church and State.”

   ~~ Thomas Jefferson, [letter?] To S. Kercheval, 1810 ~~

   i’ve got a copy of the Jefferson bible that is simply
   a more gnostic re-hash of what remains of
   words attributed
   to just another
   son of man
   in a book where
   all biblical scholars
   now understand the problems
   of the integrity of that.. and nah..
   Jefferson’s version don’t ring totally
   true to me either.. it’s also obvious how
   Washington DC is laid out that our country
   was developed by Free masons.. overall..
   who wanted to escape the monarchy
   of a Supreme Being imagined
   to be one of
   monarchy
   control along
   with the representatives
   thereof.. they decided that
   rights of life.. liberty.. and the pursuit
   of happiness was more like God as
   a Republic instead.. one nation under FREE
   my friEnd.. getting tHERe slowly as maKing that
   happen with a being with strong tribal instincts
   only evolved to live in relatively small groups
   that are heterogeneous as small groups go..
   and do do.. is surEly and verily
   like herding cats where
   the dog of ration
   is a
   hard dog to pet..
   or Trump as that goes with Love for all
   in Fowler and Maslow enlightened and awakened ways..
   the elite
   as they
   say in abundance
   out of scare city rural
   areas and deserts and
   snowy mountains aS Such..
   on a beach.. under the shade
   of a tree..come to be in heaven.. go to a desert and you get a tribal God inSTEAD
   to gain fertile land for subsistence by warrior kill and rape and pillaging too.. in HELL..
   don’t
   want
   no adventures
   again tHEre.. my friEnd..
   but hey.. what are words after death..
   other than “spiritual’ energy/force/ART
   defeating entropy in recorded KA ways..
   now turn it into senses
   and feelings
   and
   MaGiC liveS on..noW
   that’s enough for me..
   my friEnd.. the adventure now..
   as the ‘rest’ (GOD) will take care of itself after
   death but the trUe liGht MaGiC is we can dreAM nexT now2..
   and only a fool would do something not to feel and sense good..
   now
   or
   then..
   but remember..
   of course as for
   some folks only pain is pleasure of someone else’s pain..
   as science most definitely sHows in ‘that’.. “1 percent’ now..
   nah.. don’t
   wanna
   come back
   as A dEvil daM
   suRe.. not now..:)

   “What is it the Bible teaches us? – rapine, cruelty, and murder.
   What is it the Testament teaches us?
   – to believe that the Almighty committed debauchery
   with a woman engaged to be married,
   and the belief of this debauchery is called faith.”

   ~~ Thomas Paine — The Age of Reason ~~

   Of course..
   ‘that one’
   and one
   ‘other
   one’.. two..
   was/is written
   in a F
   iN
   Rocky Desert
   S C A R C I T ie S
   wHere soMe humans
   moved and some reFused
   to move on to greener pastures..
   meanwhile.. the Indians of abundant
   places dance(d) naked with each other..
   smiling in orgies of Love toGeTher like an Adriana
   Grande Song.. was/is God pissed living within those
   people.. sure..
   like
   an orgasm
   every now..
   meanwhile.. ‘other
   people’ enjoy getting pissed on
   as the record continues to sHow..
   A Trump of Love A Trump of Hate..
   thrive
   or
   just survive
   with heART or snake..:)

   “All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish,
   appear to me no other than human inventions,
   set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.”

   ~~ Thomas Paine ~~

   Sure.. the religions
   organized
   in places
   of
   scarCity..
   a little Anthropology
   goes a long way
   to better
   understanding
   what even the essence
   of language and humanity is..
   in binding
   religious
   way in peace and
   harmony of beach and rain forest
   or anger and hate and violence of desert
   and snowy mountain ways..
   with the
   greaTest
   poverty of aLL
   of the Spirit within
   that never rises close
   to Maslow and Fowler’s
   pyramid of
   human
   poTenTial..
   like the Founding
   Free Masons said too..
   albeit.. excluding women and
   ‘colored/other folks’ then in
   ignorance
   still
   living then/now too..
   butt sure.. the tribal
   instinct lives on then now for those
   trapped by the Nature of the human beast too..:)

   “All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish,
   appear to me no other than human inventions,
   set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.”

   ~~ Thomas Paine ~~

   And it’s true ‘they’
   have those sucKy
   casteS.. even
   in
   India2 with
   Hinduism too..
   with a billion or so folks+..
   square one root problem
   as usual.. insanely large numbers of
   humans living together equals
   scarCities and Chaos
   without
   rules
   to keep
   roaches in motels..
   and never veering off of sidewalks too..
   it’s truly ugly for the majority and not worthy of praise and worship
   in some places in the world for sure.. but hey.. it’s Nature at its dARkest
   and yes
   God
   all that is
   out of Balance
   in human form of essence too..
   Karma.. roll the bones.. pay the dues of do
   or no
   do do..;)

   My church is Nature/God sAMe..
   in Balance
   including
   me..
   i dare anyone
   to prove it’s not heaven now..
   as no one
   has yet..
   and i for
   one prove it’s real..
   all that is is now..
   and for
   now
   iT’s isREAL..
   does everyone get it..
   no.. of course not.. tHere is dARk too.. rhetorical for all that is..
   no misSinG it.. it lives everywHeRE sTiLL in the World/UniVerse2
   now.. with Karma of all that is for reaLiTy of DARk and liGht now..
   Yin and Yang and Kali and the Cosmic Dancer and such
   as that too..
   hey.. now..
   but at least..
   i feeL and sense
   the other place then2..
   now a little sympathy from
   a devil2
   who
   used
   to live ‘tHeRe’2..:)

   “The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.
   Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept
   for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines,
   and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery
   that we find in Christianity.”

   ~~ John Adams ~~

   Foolish
   Trumpery..
   A Crux sTiLL
   in all of that…is..
   And John Quincy
   Adams saw into
   the weaknesses of
   so-called secret
   societies then of
   Free Masonary too..
   it’s rather simple to me..
   any organization that refuses
   women in are lacking half a brain
   afraid of divine feminine love and grace now..
   A worst kind of weakness.. sureLY.. VeriLY.. hAlf a bRain
   in metaphor
   of course
   aS iT
   sitS
   AtoP AtLas
   ShUdder ShoulDers sTiLL..;)

   “…this would be the best of all possible worlds,
   if there were no religion in it.”

   ~~ John Adams, Letter to Thomas Jefferson, 1816 ~~

   SMiLes.. John A..
   A little Anthropology
   101 would help to understand
   that it is ‘the bind’
   at core of what
   A social animal
   is and for human
   inherently fixated
   expresSinG and
   labeling emotions
   and senses and
   commonly shared experience
   with abstract symbols from vocal
   now to
   record
   ways..
   with
   rituals
   and tribal
   instinct..
   there will always
   be the etymology of
   religion as the essence of binding two or more
   togetHeR as culture/church/politics/sports/science/philosophies/eTc..
   as whatever
   dances
   sings
   folks
   with a similar
   dance of song now..
   toGeThER DanCinG and SinGinG NoW..:)

   The only place religion does
   not exist iS iN the abyss
   of piece of paper
   existence where
   one feels and
   senses no
   connection to
   anything all that is..
   that’s hell.. my friend..
   a place where tHeRE are no binds but escape..
   wHeRe yes.. escape becomes the religion in hell..
   been tHEre done it.. a thousand years in one second
   where all is time and all is hell and if one thinks that burning forever
   is a worst
   place..
   don’t
   think at
   all.. NOT feel and
   sense 0 point piece
   of paper existence
   trapped in A Genie
   bottle of hell forever now
   Lesson lEarned.. bind all
   that is to one.. make every
   step and word and every emotion
   and sense holy and sacred full of meaning
   and purpose in abstract construct way too..
   make all
   of life
   religion..
   exclude
   no dARk or liGht
   then Heaven coMes..
   perhaps one has to go to
   hell first to truly get ‘heAR’.. my friEnd..
   to understand that away from bind is hell..
   the essence of all that is good is bind for those who feeL and sense
   this
   liGht
   of LiVinG
   C O L O R
   all that is now
   binding toGeTher
   forevermorenow.. aS onE..
   the opposite of hell.. my friEnd..
   works for me at lEast as inheriTinG
   the dArk and
   liGht
   as
   meek and last
   for what all that is now..:)

   “For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered.
   But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula,
   the big answers don’t remain stone-written.
   We adjust to new conditions and discoveries.
   We are pliable.
   Love need not be a command or faith a dictum.
   I am my own God.
   We are here to unlearn the teachings
   of the church, state, and our educational system.
   We are here to drink beer.
   We are here to kill war.
   We are here to laugh at the odds
   and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”

   ~~ Charles Bukowski ~~

   i feel so sorry
   for someone
   who isn’t ‘strong’
   enough
   to enjoy
   life to the
   max without
   a frigging beer..
   another benefit
   of hell.. maKing heaven one’S own..
   i have nothing against weak people as i was
   A dEvil as A weakest one oF all too.. in hell2.. wHeRE2
   i would have done anything for a drop of anything to get me out of tHeRE2..
   yes.. the Lazarus story doesn’t do it justice.. either.. thAT’s trUe too..
   thing is..
   in tHeRE..
   nothing.. nah..
   works for.. now…
   For one who is one
   with God/Nature.. no ‘additives’ needed
   in balance.. pre-packaged for fun.. fair.. nah..
   i didn’t do anything to deserve heLL.. AFAIK..
   reAlly.. except for
   now.. the after
   Karma pARTy..
   wHeRE most
   everyone
   asks me
   for
   soMe of what i’M oN..;)

   “Patriotism is the willingness
   to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.”

   ~~ Bertrand Russell ~~

   Liberty.. is usuAlly only
   trivial for those
   who have
   never trUly
   tasted Free..
   And WiTH A death of
   Patriotism/Tribalism is also
   A Willingness to share that Free
   aCross Borders oF Past Tribalism/Patriotism now..
   tHeRE
   is no trUly
   Free without
   forgives and
   gives and shares..
   with Mercy more of Love..
   as FreeLiGht gRows Ocean wHole..
   but aGain.. those who are free.. master A camel and elephant as
   Master/Rider FReED.. odd they are and so far apARt they coMe..
   unplugGinG heAR and THeRE.. dReAMinG oThERs FRee2..
   liKe A pLay oF A
   MaGiC Flute..
   for those
   who
   hEre
   now
   A DancE and SonG..noW..:)

   “Some writers have so confounded society with government,
   as to leave little or no distinction between them;
   whereas they are not only different, but have different origins.
   Society is produced by our wants,
   and government by our wickedness;
   the former promotes our happiness *positively*,
   by uniting our affections,
   the latter *negatively*, by restraining our vices.
   The one encourages intercourse,
   the other creates distinctions.
   The first is a patron, the last is a punisher.
   Society in every state is a blessing,
   but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil;
   in its worst state an intolerable one….”

   ~~ Thomas Paine, opening lines of _Common Sense_ 1776 ~

   ~~ *asterisks denote Paine’s use of italics* ~~

   Yes.. Government is a
   necessary so-called
   evil for those humans
   who live in insanely large
   populations.. tHere is
   no other
   choice
   but rules
   when humans
   no longer connect
   to the entire group as friends..
   and as one agrees later down on
   in this piece.. about 200 or so
   sets of eYes
   is wHere
   some kind
   of Government becomes
   a reality with humans living out of
   so-called Natural Balance.. i have no
   problem with Government as i master
   it for now..
   not to
   say i won’t
   have problems
   again.. but the seagull
   doesn’t worry about asteroids
   coming and other stuff like that..
   Government is slow and psychopaths
   who run it.. won’t kill themselves first..
   as psychology indicates at least.. hehe..
   statistically now.. i have no worries.. so i live on for this great adventure now..
   it’s what one does in mostly empty space and cold and hot rocks now.. life ain’t fair
   and licking
   one’s
   nuts
   is great for squirrels..
   ride the wave until it ends..
   change what ya can and enjoy the rest..
   as once again.. a great adventure now.. if one can and will.. now2..:)

   “Money made a vow to itself,
   that no one who didn’t love it,
   would ever have it.”

   Irish Proverb

   i ignore
   money..
   for me
   at least
   that’s why i have
   all i need.. i ignore money..
   it naturally grows when one
   don’t need it.. i find at least.. now.. hehe..
   it’s like
   FucKinG
   MaGiC..
   no..
   duh..
   HA hE
   it’s math.. Heha..
   i ignore money.. so much..
   when it comes.. i just ignore
   it more and it continues to grow..
   like a FucKinG Money Tree.. And..
   i juSt hope those who
   eventuAlly
   inherit that shit..
   don’t bLow it up
   tHeir nose like my
   step-sister did with
   her Mother’s inheritance of hell and
   die way too soon2.. iF only she had
   that gift.. the first Woman my my Father married..
   the one who rather stays at home and raises one’s kids
   with hugs more than go to work and make some big bucks
   for some
   bigger
   stuff.. a vicious
   cycle.. it is.. when
   money and all its
   vices attempts to FeeL a wHole.. empty of Love..
   ‘Fore.. for A couple hundred thousand years entire villages
   yes.. small.. raised children with touchy feely love.. noW it’s FucKinG
   Barney the Dinosaur through the lonely stare of crib bars now.. then2..
   and plastic
   FucKinG cold nipples..
   that feel and sense no Love aT aLL..
   it is what is is.. Nature Nature.. God sAMe..
   pay the piper all Karma due of do do now..
   HeHe.. i praise single Welfare Food card
   Mothers
   with
   great thanks
   for what is important
   in life.. love over pride..
   love
   over
   money..
   love over
   all when love reigns real..
   A best part of Government
   is one that understands what is
   most important.. a home of touchy
   feely love for a child at all costs more without..
   And nah.. no welfare for my mother but my Father
   stayed long enough.. where i would stay rich all my life without
   a green bLack dollar.. required to fill that up until i became its slave too..
   big
   miStake
   as money
   truly is a root of
   all human suffering now..
   when it becomes empty Love..;)

   “The races of the Galaxy look towards
   mankind as the essential lunatic element.”

   ~~ Terry Pratchett, “Strata”, pg. 60 ~~

   Meh.. Love brought this all to
   a head now.. if we didn’t cooperate
   so much as being human.. the virus
   of cultures/religions would have never become the
   out of control experiment oF all that is now..
   Love IS A
   answer
   out too..
   back in for balance..
   but with rationality
   over emotion now..
   nah.. more likely
   a more
   difficult answer
   as solution of emotions/
   senses/ though aS Surely hiStory
   and all news continues to sHow.. as Muse.. Nothing
   ‘normal hUman’.. Trumps human emotion/senses.. dARk or liGht..
   EmotionS and senses win.. liGht or dArk..
   in other words.. my friEnd.. believe
   it or not Ripleys..
   and Horatios
   and other
   folks like that..
   it’s common
   sense now..
   the answers
   will have to be found
   in ‘Religion’ as EmotionS and Senses rule thE
   DancE and SonG for all of whaT iS hUman StiLL now..
   AnD what i do mean is the essence as
   Etymology of ‘Religion’ in what BindS iN
   Unifies uS as Victory
   Or
   BindS iN
   Divides
   Us as Vengeance.. anyWay..
   i’M betting on noW as all that is Love
   for
   me
   at LEast..
   bE tHe Love yA
   wanna be or not for all i can and WiLL DO now..;)

   AnyWay.. my friend.. thanks for putting toGetHer
   all of what this is aS Highly muSinG to me
   in your efforts heAR..
   Life doesn’t
   have to
   make
   sense
   And it won’t make sense..
   unless we personally co-
   create it that way..
   to suit our
   sense and
   taste and
   feel for all
   that is and..
   it’s kinda nice
   to be lost
   in a village
   this large.. as no
   one notices me anymore..
   enough.. to try to change me..
   as most everyone under 40
   is strange now.. too.. heHe!..
   A beauty of
   true chaos
   as long as it lasts..
   the strange thrive in
   a world more of strange..
   i’m gonna enjoy this chaos
   as long as it lasts.. no FucKinG
   sidewalks
   for me..
   my friEnd..
   i’LL take the tapestry
   as masterpiece of chaos
   on the long way home.. Free
   as subatomic flow swirls around in me
   for what i for one see as
   a beautiful world now.. sTiLL..
   FucKinG Fabulous
   aDvenTure NoW..
   and i’m
   not asKinG
   for anything else..
   now.. but as ‘they’ STiLL
   DancE and SinG.. NoW.. thE REAL
   Money Tree continues to GroW mY FriEnd..
   nah..
   don’t need
   to kNow thaT..
   i for one
   am
   born this way thaT works..
   forevermore now.. juST now..;)

   Reply
9. katiemiafrederick says:

   March 2, 2017 at 11:19 AM

   More ‘Memento’s From Mother Helen’.. and yes in ‘this’
   photo from DownTown Milton at my Grandmother’s
   home where i was raised next to the Railroad
   Trestle on BlackWater River in
   DownTown Milton
   in a hundred year
   old or so shot-gun
   home.. where the beauty
   of the River and the Flowers
   in the yard outshines anything
   that human can build as homes
   away from Nature Free.. you see..
   i write poetically to make more of life..
   Holy and Sacred full of meaning and purpose..
   12 million words of effort have come into maKing
   the River of my SouL Bleed Beauty.. from the dArkness
   of Before.. but it is real and so am i.. and so is this Wonderful
   Adventure of life as i am still amazed by what comes in every word
   and step of life.. in other words.. the rider of the camel and elephant
   that is the mindful awareness in both mind and body from head to toe..
   is surely amazed by the camel and the elephant that are just metaphors
   for what lies as truth living
   within the subconscious
   mind that is
   a collective
   whole of all
   i’ve experienced
   in my life.. and while it might
   be hard for the folks at Old Seville
   Quarter to imagine me as a little
   boy in a cowboy hat.. where i actually
   road in a ’57 Chevy in the year ’63.. or so
   after the Birth Control Pill first came on the market
   when i was born on the 6th day of the 6th month of
   the 6 decade of ’60.. last century as now goeS on..
   My mother pictured ‘here’.. on the
   record of what it means
   to be feminine..
   voted by her
   highschool peers
   as having the best figure then..
   and noted by my Father’s Mother as
   having the most beautiful skin for a woman
   she ever saw glowing white as estrogen does
   when expresSinG at high levels as my cowboy hat does opposite..
   ‘here’.. before my Father left.. wRite about the time John F. Kennedy
   was assassinated then… in November of 1963.. and my mother was so
   inspired.. and saddened by my Father leaving and really stressed
   out.. looking for answers somewhere in her life.. that she radically
   changed from being a Protestant.. moving to Catholicism..
   inspired by the widow Jackie and her two
   children with the ritual of the Catholic
   Church then.. anyway.. explains
   how a Grandson of an
   Excommunicated
   Priest.. got
   back
   in the Catholic
   Church.. hehe..
   let’s face it.. all us folks
   approaching 60 years old and
   older now have seen a lot in life..
   have done a lot in life and are still involved
   in a brand new cultural experiment through what
   we all experience now as a thousand lifetimes and more
   of virtual mirror neuron experience of watching and listening
   to the medium of home entertainment.. nah.. didn’t have a TV
   until age 7 and i didn’t actually have a color TV until age 16.. and
   when that console blew up about 2 years later.. i didn’t have another
   Color TV until age 26.. purchased with my first Lowe’s Credit Card at
   that age.. and i never filled out a check until age 28 and lived mostly at
   home until that age with some stints with other folks living in apartments
   until i finally lived alone in an apartment at age 28 and got married shortly
   after that while living in an apartment with my sister at age 29.. moving into
   more apartments.. living with my mother and my wife until age 33 to save enough
   money for the start of a mortgage in ’93.. eating pork and beans and those big packages
   of cheap leg quarters.. somehow.. saving three thousand dollars while both me and the wife
   still made close to minimum wage and below minimum wage dollars today and finally bought our
   modest home in the Forest that we still live in today.. all paid off as such as my debt went
   on all the way from age 26 until just a couple of years ago in at least car and home loan
   mortgage way.. slave to debt.. like everyone else.. but in that year of ’93.. my
   non-appropriated federal job at the little Military Bowling Center was
   changed over to appropriated.. GS-5 pay and my pay went
   up.. almost double.. and next thing ya know..
   i moved from Blue Chevy Cavalier to
   Green Teal Camaro and
   got into debt some more..
   as that is how the American Dream
   Steals your freedom of choice away..
   in stuff.. in stuff.. and more stuff.. until
   the camper and boat is no longer used in the
   backyard.. if ever used at all… or for those higher
   ups.. the Yacht never leaves port and is used for a dinner
   party once a year… same old shit.. same old American Dream
   that really is a nightmare for many folks as how many homes does
   Oprah need and what does a F iN 10 million Dollar home do for your
   Eternal Osteen Soul.. the best pARt of going to Hell is.. you finally figure out
   money and stuff don’t mean shit.. don’t mean shit.. don’t mean shit.. all that you
   have is the soul that you lost.. all that other shit was just an illusion that helped take
   your soul away.. and nah.. no fairy tale soul.. the miNd and BoDy Balance within as
   Kingdom of Heaven of emotional regulation and sensory integration where we
   become spiraling dervishes without having to stay in synch
   with the dude spiraling next
   to you..
   or girl..
   if you live in
   an area where the
   two can mix in dance..
   hehe.. and hold hands and
   give a kiss on the cheek for free
   and innocent love as all love is when totally free..
   like these words that have the navigator below as
   the elephant and the camel is set free in greater mindful
   and body awareness from head to toe as the rider flies higher
   and higher and the camel passes through the needle and all of human
   God Given potential is free in a metaphor of the Quantum miNd and BoDy
   unleasHing and releaSinG iN Greater BaLanCinG soUL way of HeaRt expresSing
   SpiRit of EmoTioN as the soUL Flies HiGher and hiGher in MoVinG.. ConNecTing
   Ways of ImaGinAtioN and CreaTivity with all that is as Nature plUs aka God all that is
   NoW all now all.. as GoD eYes BrightER as Lamp of Human PoTenTiaL NoW.. 24 carat Gold.. NoW
   Baby.. in terms of within.. inside.. outside.. above.. so below and all around now.. let’s face
   it.. yes.. we need subsistence..in terms of food.. drink and shelter and basic tools for creature
   comforts and more than anything.. we need each oTheR to accomplish that sTiLL.. but beyond
   that what do you really need.. for you to decide.. of course.. could be another Oprah Home..
   a Bigger Osteen Home.. could be a few more Golden ornaments on a Christmas
   Tree in a Trump Tower too.. but when the Trump way says that only
   the rich are happy.. truth is.. they are never truly happy as
   happy only means you are happy
   with what you have
   in material
   terms
   and need
   nothing else to
   complete you now..
   as far as human potential
   goes.. the soUL continues to
   build thee more stately Nautilus
   Mansions of heART.. as Spirit and
   SoUL to twist some words by Oliver
   Wendell Holmes as Home of within
   beyond taller Towers that Trump the
   height of other towers.. and sure.. as i told my wife
   one day.. see that table over there.. that is not just a table..
   that is part of the spiRit in KA Egyptian terms of the sOUl of the
   person who designed it and even the worker bee effort in drone way
   of the folks who put it together.. namely you and me and all the other folks
   who helped bring it into existence now.. as there are swirling electrons around
   atoms and subatomic flow in that table leg same as you and me.. sure.. a little paraphrasing
   heaR as if i had told it this way to the wife all vocal she would have said.. shut the F uP.. you
   are giving me.. yes.. a Fredache now.. hehe.. great thing about online is.. tHeRe is an off
   switch everywhere you go.. haha.. and i can be all of who i can be like the Army
   says and the rest is just a fredbuffet all served out in online banquet style.. haha..
   that’s the thing.. this is a brave new world.. there is no longer just a cowboy
   haTe.. a scarf for a head.. some fashionable cat eye glasses and
   lots of estrogen fueled love beside a ’57 chevy on
   the lawn of a Beautiful Blackwater River with
   the sounds of choo choo and the
   passing sound of the Rail Road
   Whistle that can remind
   you that sAdly the
   past has gone
   by and is not coming back..
   hmm.. in human terms.. i can still
   hear that whistle.. and in terms of KA
   Spirit.. my Mother’s spirit in non-verbal
   language now surely lives online in memorial
   as most all 12 million words of what i have originally
   written in real time online still exist of me and myriads
   of different places in repetition too.. seriously.. if you count all
   the places my words are.. there is likely at least a tenth of a billion
   of them that exist heRe and tHeRe.. sure.. easily 100 million words as
   The Google search Wizard can connect almost any word now with Katie
   Mia or Aghogday too.. try it sometime.. hehe.. you’ll be amazed.. particularly
   considering.. i did it in just 75 months now.. haha.. nah.. just kidding.. don’t try it..
   it’ll likely give you a Fredache.. too.. hehex2.. anyWay.. i’ll let Google sort that all out for
   free.. don’t need no card catalog for anything i ever wrote.. just a few key words and voila..
   history comes back to play.. but yeah.. too busy moving forward.. usually.. to look back at all..
   if i’m lucky.. to read anything at all i’ve already written.. as i am out to test the waters of human
   potential.. juSt for a hobby and the fAct that it feels reAlly good in limitless way.. as ‘Lucy’ might
   say too.. from the furry beginnings to a movie that comes isreal now too.. in this coming Macro
   Verse.. there is probably a hundred Memento photos or so.. and while dVerse Synchronistically
   had a prompt on that Tuesday at the same time i was looking through my Mementos as happened
   time and time again without fail with the prompts i was inspired by.. before i saw them in acausal
   connecting way for the three years or so i engaged with most of what was done there..
   i’ve seen too many coincidences in life not to understand there is an underlying
   reality beyond all material reductionism that is all supra organism
   of life as God.. of course.. i cannot prove that to anyone
   who does not live in my personal eYes
   of God that is that
   Quantum
   metaphor
   unleashed and
   released as me as
   higher human God of all
   Given potential that i for one
   believe we all have inside.. in other
   words.. i am no more special than a grain
   of sand.. just been brushed by the
   challenges that God
   Brings all
   as
   my soUL
   continues to Evolve
   deep deep deep of all the
   rider i.. sits upon the Camel and
   Elephant and so much more of what
   this potential of life in the interdependent
   relationships with each oTheR and all our tools
   and devices of culture have brought to the table
   of the entire collective soUL of God uS now.. all that is
   so far beyond the eYes of a clanky old scientific method
   that measures science and never the whole view of the tapestry
   of the painting that is the masterpiece of God that we brush together
   as paint of one of the most beyond beautiful experiences that can be life now..
   truly.. we live in magical times now.. where once what ways “Waiting for Godot”
   is heAR now always for eYes that can see and take advantage of all the inherited
   co-handed and feated gifts shared in abundance with all folks now.. who live in free
   enough countries with avenues to bliss.. eternity.. IS A place now of all Love where you
   never you get bored.. in Heaven NoW as any Jonathan Seagull with a cowboy hat on..
   of Love.. you just fly a little hiGher and are no
   longer afraid
   to look
   at
   the ‘Sun’..
   without blinking your
   eYes for you are the star
   that birthed you HeAR.. we
   are the sTARs that are all isREal noW..
   AnyWay.. back to the point about the dVerse prompt..
   tHeRE is so much to be inspired by in all MoMenTos
   of LIFE as a better spelling in my opinion as they do allow
   us to relive moments of before that are actually the memories
   of now.. and reaLiTy sAMe.. as all is miNd.. all iS BoDy.. aLL is heARt.. all is
   SpiRiT And all is soUL NoW as some folks get attached to the things ‘out there’ in ‘solid
   form’.. and this is wHeRe the issue of semantics and religion comes in.. when we talk
   about within and inside.. and outside.. and above.. and so below.. and all around.. we
   create our reaLiTies from birth with a deeper gift that is our mINd and BoDy soUL as
   evolving in one lifetime now.. and this is so far beyond what concrete reality is..
   as truly there is no concrete reality.. we make buildings as skyscrapers
   to brinG an illusion of concrete order to quell the nerves in straight
   lines and sharp angles for those who are afraid to go a little
   more off the limb and
   fly
   more to
   soaring heights..
   conservative.. they call it..
   comes from a spirit that is no
   longer as free or perhaps not born that way..
   as science tends to show.. and that’s okaY as
   insanely crowded populations of humans need those
   rules to get along as science shows too.. other thing is..
   as the ‘Matrix’ says and ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’.. too..
   for those who live in countries more of abundance.. wHeRe the
   more liberal nomads go to play.. the spiRit of the individual eYes
   of God can unchain themselves and fly hiGher and Freer than ever
   beFore.. while everyone else then and now scrambles for dollar bills and other
   material desires of life.. external now.. to what lives inside.. yes.. the eYes of God
   Free.. i used to be trapped as the tools that others created as culture too.. and it is
   a trap that can be very difficult to escape.. particularly.. if one is spoon-fed this trap
   from Birth with no reference point.. out.. you see.. the FAct that i didn’t have a TV until
   age 7.. set my SpiRit inside freer even though i could not speak until age 4.. as children who
   must face within.. they.. become dreamers more than the tools that surround them wHere the
   soUL within radiates as the star shines briGhter within.. it’s pretty simple.. i can get it out now
   as i am no longer feeding my self on a strict diet of the tools of others.. input is good.. particularly
   a variety of input.. i still consume.. but output is more vital to the life of the eternal souL now.. it
   gRows that way more.. when the soUL DanceS and SingS more than just eating life whole..
   and Lord kNowS.. it takes a lifetime to GroW and more as uS in tHe TrUe and LIGht
   KnoW SenSE and FeeL with zero words @aLL.. aka GOD.. within.. inside.. noW
   outside.. above.. so below.. A BaLanCinG acT all oF liFE is and A Practice
   as such that never ends Now.. LiFe is Only as FuLL as the Moment
   of SenSe and FeeL anD suRE.. kNow too.. soar
   or stAy StiLL..
   tHeRe is
   the sAMe
   amount of tiMe now..
   the rest is juST iLLuSions
   of hands on a CucKoo CLock oF A
   chaiNed rhyme with only reaSons…
   Tree oF LIFe Flies HiGher when soars..FReED..:)

   As ‘the Giver’ says and the words above..
   yes.. somewhat indicate.. be careful what you
   wish for baby.. as what is dARk is often liGht
   and what is liGht is often daRk after the wash
   and rinse cycle comes to dry out..
   hehe.. anyWay.. i like
   this new generation…
   you kNow.. what ‘they’
   name as mil·len·nials..
   around age 37 and under.. i first
   encountered them at work.. hehe.. supervising
   them as such.. basically they didn’t give a fuck
   about who the FucKinG head dude in charge thought
   he was as the authority.. haha.. you see.. while some
   folks believe the American Dream is one of Trumping the
   next tower.. other folks go more back to the original thought
   of the unalienable right to life.. liberty.. and the pursuit of happiness..
   where let’s just say that the pursuit of happiness IS A little more subjective
   than what is previously written in a book or the employee manual aS Such.. and can
   you blame them.. after seeing all the Iraq lies.. and the continuing Republican Administration
   in the so-called more liberal one after that as the bullshit continued on in hidden emails
   and under the the table shit to get your way.. albeit.. the Obama got some freedoms
   per say and DO.. of this original Declaration for the have nots of health care
   and different sexual orientations that was a virtual
   miracle in a country so divided as
   all heterogenous cultures
   as mELtinG pARTS
   of all human
   ingredients
   from around
   the world are..
   amazing.. this shit works
   at all and not too surprising
   that from the outside in.. it dAM
   sure looks like it is falling apart like
   a three rings circus with the head clown in charge
   or trickster perhaps.. but never the less.. chaos iS in charge
   and that is no surprise and to be expected.. all things considered
   as NPR might say.. if continued funded of course.. not so.. haha..
   the Millennials are the potential Bernie Sanders Saviors.. they trUly
   are.. but hey.. there’s the 60’s and pretty much the same young folks then
   who at least allowed a Clinton to get into office to try some new stuff and
   promote some hook-ups just for fun too.. sexual liberation is inherent in all human
   potential.. kinda takes the sting out of not having the biggest Trump Tower too.. haha..
   he he.. and she she too.. and more.. the 20’s came and went too.. but these roaring Teens..
   i’ve dam sure been enjoying while i still can at ’56.. heHE.. anyWay i’M heaR.. a few people
   can see me.. like my friEnd Rafiah from Pakistan..
   and that’s
   enough for me..
   considering.. i haven’t
   made a penny off of any of
   my Teens of 2000 stuff.. i’m
   happy as a barefoot sparrow without human clothes.. wiTh
   not even a FucKinG white robe.. just a 7.50 Dollar Walmart T shirt..
   And some half price.. JC PenNy shorts and very long Dance and SonG too..
   but yes.. i muSt take care of the feet approaching the feat of 7,000 miles in
   just a little over a #John1412 42 months.. no barefoot tHeRe.. outside in
   the sand.. yes.. but on the mall floors.. no.. at about 125 dollars..
   every three months.. in my signature Nike Shox 11 and a half
   jocks.. in all athletic way feet.. haha.. not exactly
   ballet shoes but works for a mix of
   ballet and martial arts-like
   Dervish
   Free verse
   spirAling Dance..
   but sure.. at my ease..
   i float on land.. as walking
   on water is so yesterday.. like
   just another son of man.. he He..
   once again.. John 14:12 Dances and Sings more..
   unless ‘he’ was/is a Clinton and Bush and a Trump liar too..
   who can you trust.. just do it like a Mil·len·nial of 2K is
   what i for one continue to Give iN DancE and Song FReED..
   let’s JusT
   saY at
   lEAst
   Kilroy
   was/is HeAR..;)

   Naked TRUTH of philosophy

   And now to bRinG this to
   a RinGinG close wiTh some MacroVerse
   Shares as usual.. heAR.. and sure.. even
   with Forrest Gump and that Star Lord dude..
   and so many more SuperHeroes as such.. the death
   of tHeir Mother.. changed their lives in a new direction..
   not sure of what that WiLL be in totaLiTy NoW but have alWays
   fELt iT CoMing aGaIn all of MY liFe now.. hmm.. funny little synchronicities..
   as truST me or Not.. tiMe.. sPace.. And diStance.. is only as real as you maKe that NOW..
   “Naked TRUTH of philosophy’.. speaks to the tRuth and liGht of what it would be like
   if Jesus comes back today.. and trUsT.. Jesus WiLL come back as humans get what they
   wish.. when they wish for it together in a Nicene Creed with all the Muslims
   and the rest of the Christians in terms of half the world aS Such..
   that’s a lot of human imagination and creativity in self-fulfilling
   prophecies.. in action aS Such.. hmm.. i suppose when i was a
   runner..i fit the artistic archetype.. tall
   and slim and dirty blonde with a beard
   and eYes that can glow at times..
   just stretch the arms out
   a little bit up and
   out and voila
   a painting
   of Fred
   comes to life.. too..
   and sure.. there is my mother
   too.. by the way.. my sister’s real
   name is Marie.. Helen means the giver of the
   light by the way.. and Frederick means peaceful ruler
   and Arthur.. my middle name.. means strong and my last name is
   just another version too.. of the original Middle Eastern name of
   God as Earth and Water makes Silt on page 8 of Karen Armstrong’s
   “History of God’.. what else.. yeah.. born as the second gen.. son of
   a Catholic Priest.. French Lineage through his wife too..
   let’s get a little DaVinci Code in this if we can too..
   and Jesus F iN Christ.. Mother could fit in a Mary
   Robe too.. with lily white skin.. and
   super feminine face with no
   angles at all..
   or sharp
   jutted
   chin..
   sure.. why not..
   let’s just dream a little more..
   the things is.. we create our realties and
   many folks have come to believe they are Jesus
   now or at least rode that thEMe and MeMe to get a
   Harem of women to live in a compound and stuff like that..
   not much different than Muhammad really and his desire to break
   the rules for number of wives from 4 to 9.. just for him.. and that’s
   how you can always tale when a so-called false prophet comes to town.. they
   say they are the only one or the first or the last.. when in God’s time there
   is no only one but all and there is no first or last as time.. space.. and distance
   does not even really exist in the relative imagination of even Einstein living
   as science now too.. in other words.. we have Trump Fact checkers now..
   and the biblical scholars realize that no one even knows
   what the real Jesus looked like.. Fully said or did..
   if he even..fully existed at all.. Faith is not juST
   believing what someone said..
   Faith is the
   action
   of
   John 14:12 now..
   that says and does
   even more and that you
   can do more too.. there is
   a Christ born in every John 14:12
   act.. surELy.. John Lennon and his Beatles
   stARTed a Revolution of Love like that too..
   i’M not famous and i don’t give a Fuck about money..
   but even without hardly any help.. about 1.6 million folks viewed
   my shit on Google plus.. what this means is.. the avenues for John 14:12
   are more open than ever before.. now.. for those who are not afraid to exercise
   tHeir God Given Potential and be a real Jesus now.. in terms of John 14:12..
   NoW iN
   metaphor way.
   most people are
   talking and waiting
   And otHeR folks are FucKinG
   juST doing it in Nike Victory way(S)..
   Hell.. yes.. tHeRE are mosTly BeYond iNfinite Suns and Planets
   and OTheR infinite ways.. what putS aLL toGeThER is NoW the God of all that is WE
   and so
   much
   more
   iN eXtra-
   planetary ways..;)

   IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT ‘GOD’ EXISTS

   “IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT ‘GOD’ EXISTS”.. HAHA.. really tough crowd
   on the Wrong Planet online of what science terms as A highest
   populated place of Atheists online at about
   a 26 percent mark as a Boston
   College actual
   peer
   reviewed
   study did make..
   and after swimming amongst
   the crocodiles.. i understand much
   better noW in case study way and other research
   ways of what makes them tick deep within.. they
   simply do not sense and feel the connections to all that is (GOD) thaT our
   gifts of hUman potential do usuAlly.. healthy bRing.. i lost mine too..
   for 66 months.. and realize fully thaT iS an opaque window of heLL on eARTh
   that is real for whatever reaSon that comes in Nature (GOD)
   now.. as hUman.. but real as it is
   for now.. i can
   predict an Atheist
   long before they tale
   me.. just by the number of
   emotionally heaRt felt words
   they use in a paragraph or the
   Joy that more comes when one has a
   Faith in some MaGiC ACT more than a dry
   science abstract of systemizing
   repetitive bore
   as robots
   go..
   sAdly..
   shuffling by
   with no rhythm of
   God of Nature as expreSsinG
   spiRit now.. and if you think they
   don’t exist at the Southern First Baptist Church..
   tHeRe is no separation of the dead heaRT.. no matter what
   label one assigns to oneself.. of the DeaD SpiRit and the Dead Trump soUL..
   words are empty shells without
   the Nature of this
   SoUL of SpiRit (GOD)
   as EYes expreSsing HeARt
   iN MiNd And BoDy BalanCinG
   FreeR SpiRits now.. and no matter
   what they labEL the Word(s) they/uS/wE/i wiLL
   FeeL SenSe wE are ‘Christians’ by the unconditional
   acts of both words and doing that spell
   L
   O
   V
   E in uNcoNditional
   GiVinG shARinG altruistic
   so-called normal healthy ways..
   in MoVinG CoNnecTinG CreAtinG ways more
   less the environment of machines
   we live in make
   us tools
   of
   soULess
   Robots now..
   sharing and linKing
   fActs from sunrise to sunset
   each day in a soUL that never lEarns
   to DancE and SinG more than copy and paste liFe..
   nah.. i’m not Jesus.. i am the FucKinG Terminator
   tUrned into Good Guy noW2.. And as
   promised i’M back.. T2 heHe..
   NoW and with that sAaid.. more
   flesh and blood duties are coMinG
   i must travel to noW.. away from this
   Terminator Keyboard that will imprison
   me NoW if i don’t escape too.. now now now..
   for i am
   jusT hUman..
   adhere to the
   Laws of God as Nature plUs uS..
   or pay the Karma of poTential eARThly HeLL..
   off to
   Heaven
   more
   NoW
   i DancE and SinG isREaL..
   in yes.. FucKinG Flesh and Blood more..
   with more fun photos.. coMiNg on the 3rd
   of the 3rd month around 3 am after my 150th week at Old Seville Quarter
   oF free verse dance ends with all the new Millennials (college age folks)
   of the Teens in ’17.. of this new Century iN the art oF Free Dance NoW MoRE..:)

   ONE more thing.. the Facebook Algorithm along with the two MacroVerse
   Memories from three years ago and two years go.. bRings ‘this’
   Memory as MicroVerse oF First written creative
   piece on Facebook for the public in general..
   thE first spiRit
   FilLed words
   thaT
   cAMe
   from within..
   and that spiRit has
   been uPon me less and
   more now for 48 full months..
   just anotHeR Self-Fulfilling prophecy
   come to pass noW as this shit is reAlly going
   down in first person way with no one else editing ‘my’ words then/now but ME..
   read between
   the
   lines
   or noT it’s iSReaL..;)

   Ideology of Identity:

   I think I was born as a kind of classical pantheist, as I saw patterns and connections in things that were more of my thinking process, along with the tactile sensory world, than what I think most people may experience as an internal dialogue of thought.

   I still have a vivid memory of connection to everything in the world, as if I had been here forever, before I was able to speak that I cannot fully put into words, from about age 3 looking out into the distance over the river I grew up next to. But I think in some ways I knew more about my existence then than I do now, as I could not separate myself from what seemed like a very old home of nature.

   I am glad I had the opportunity to roam desolate pristine beaches as a teenager and young adult, without any fear, and feeling one in being with the waves, white sand, emerald green gulf, sea oats and sea gulls, with no dramas in my head.

   But even my ancestors could not experience that with not being sure where their next meal was going to come from. Not likely that many creatures in the Universe could experience a little slice of nirvana like that.

   I can remember getting back into my car and being jolted back into the reality of all that is the complexity of modern culture, which at that point in time was so, so limited as compared to today. I was never quite the same after home computers came along, as I drifted further and further from a home of nature.

   The people I dealt with in the public at that time, in what was a “Cheers” like environment, was also a slice of nirvana. Cigarette filled, but the emotional contagion of a hundred human beings that are happy that I had the privilege to serve and make even happier, equaled the nirvana of the walks on the sun-filled beaches.

   I loved my exquisite sensory experience of life….

   It was worth not being able to touch man made texture without goose bumps and an incredible feeling of discomfort.

   When I see Landon Bryce’s book “I Love My Own Autistic Self”, the little guy on the front is how I usually felt inside that people could only see in the gleam of my eyes.

   People often told me they wished they had what it was I had, or wanted some of the drugs I was taking, but I had no idea what they were talking about because there was nothing I wanted but to exist, for so many years…

   It was a powerful feeling that no one’s negativity could take away from me, not even when the rest of the world told me I was not one of their kind.

   Sorry, that was quite a tangent, but it is kind of therapeutic for me; I hope you don’t mind…

   My point I started off with was religion and classic pantheism, which is all of nature and science for me; the cultural complexity of what has come from human collective intelligence, including all the strange oddities, even the strangest of religious cults and beliefs. But most of all the reality of that beach those waves, and those grains of sand, that do not exist without me.

   A gift, a wonderful gift that was provided by my father and mother, and their ancestors where there could be no break in the chain of events of human struggle that all my ancestors experienced to survive and reproduce, and their rodent ancestors about 75 million years ago, and all the other ancestors not identified and material substances that came together to make that possible, from the origin of what is, whatever is, is.

   That one point that I can only abstractly define because of the human collective intelligence that provides the map to what can be described, as one point that we all share that can never be disconnected, as long as we exist…

   Wow, I just realized that sounds kind of like the intro to the “Big Bang Theory” TV show…

   And relatively speaking the knowledge that I gained that this is one sliver of conscious existence and what really is a little slice of heaven for some that do exist, considering just the benefit of a warm soft bed, a hot shower, and things now considered so mundane that took billions of years to come into existence that were not here a little over a century ago. Like toilet paper…

   But I could never experience that connection of what is, any stronger than when I was three. I have everything and everyone before me to thank for that experience… Including collective intelligence and the understanding of that one point that still exists in all of us and everything else…

   I never met a stranger, not even a grain of sand on the beach…

   But I did not feel a category, a religion, a race or even a gender for myself, which at least for me enhanced the ability to find a friend in that grain of sand.

   I suppose it is the immune system issues and chronic pain that has taken some of that gleam out of my eyes, but it still exists in the eyes in what I perceive of the anthropomorphic expression of the cat in my face book photo.

   Who at 18 years old is likely closer to the wisdom of that three-year-old child that only exists in my memory and pictures…

   I sense that type of wisdom requires no human intelligence at all beyond the core that is shared.

   I think it can be lost so much easier in a human into a little sliver of hell somewhere outside that balance of heaven.
   Particularly in lives where instant gratification has become the norm…

   I am at the service of my fully inside cat, but he has never had that gleam in his eyes, or the same struggles to survive.

   The yellow cat in my Google plus avatar on the “Autistic Hoya” website, was a feral cat that only knew struggles in his several years of life behind our house in the woods.

   He became my emotions after chronic pain had removed them from my existence. He gained a gleam in his eyes of gratitude to have a balance in his life when we allowed him a place to gain predictable subsistence.

   An identical yellow cat that likely is his offspring, younger and stronger appears intermittently out of the woods and started to injure our now neutered cat, racking up $200 dollar vet bills, every other week so the once feral cat has now been forced to become a fully inside cat.

   I am watching him slowly lose that gleam in his eyes, with the call of the wild slowly drifting away, along with all the likely incredible sensory experiences that come with an outdoor world that the other cat that never gets injured in fights at age 18, can still fully experience.

   As I sit outside toward the back of my yard, in the afternoon sun, he is pacing back and forth politely, still with a humility of respect for a place of subsistence that keeps him from tearing the screen of the patio.

   Perhaps if he could speak and let me know in words what I was taking away from him, I would listen.

   But I cannot bear the thought of additional bloody wounds on his face. But still I remember what it means to have that connection and balance…

   When I watch him pace back and forth, it is one of the few things in life that will bring a tear to my eye that reminds me that I too am still connected..:)

   Other than that, it could be just a word like Synesthesia that seems to trigger something in my brain letting the brakes off the logic to move into figurative space.

   At least for me, even one word can be a gift that leads me to a place in words that I don’t often visit.

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