Cute little kids with shining eyes and huge heavy school bags on their shoulders…. This is what comes to my mind when I think about schools.
Life is a race. The one who stops, fails. You have to run fast to achieve your goals and this running fast for a school kid means he has to study hard to get good grades. He has to pass four exams and many tests in one year with excellent marks. He has to be brilliant in studies and has to answer his teacher’s questions during lectures. He must shine in studies no matter how shining he is or not in his real life.
On the other hand teachers have to cover a huge syllabus in one year. They have to check home works of hundreds of students everyday and papers four times a year. They have a fixed time for their lecture and…
OH..I WAS SO ANGRY TODAY..I COULD HAVE SPIT NAILS..
AND i guess as they say ..my hair was on fire….
A deacon at my Catholic Church was allowed to present a Homily today…
And the content of that Homily was a diatribe against homosexual marriage..and even the potential for same sex couples to raise ‘normal’ kids…
Well..as you might know i am quite uninhibited these days..and was going to give him a
‘peace’ of my mind..
But my wife held me off..and instead i vented to the Monsignor xxxxx that is always a man of Christ of what i see so far…
Here in this text..altered only for a couple of typos i made in the original..with no expectation of reply but only assertion of what i truly believe…
Good afternoon Mgsr. xxxxxx..
Today after Mass..you asked me IF everything is well..and well.. while I was tempted to tell you why not then..i did not…
I’m a little uninhibited these days..perhaps reasonably too much at times..as Katrina sometimes indicates..but yes.. there is a time for appropriate decor..and church today was not the place to amplify the current..any further..in the air..
The current of hate my friend..
The current of hate my friend..
You see..my first day at middle school..smiling and excited to be there and meet new friends..the first words out of hall mate mouths were you can’t smile here faggot that’s not allowed..
Well..being on the autism spectrum ..with that itself not diagnosed until midlife.. with little understanding of social cues..or sarcasm..i had no idea what the word meant..but it was clear there was hate behind it..
For Whatever reason.. even though i was only attracted to girls from kindergarten and beyond..people assumed i was gay most of my life..
I don’t know..maybe i smiled too much..or did not act assertively enough…
Yes..i had no father to mimic in early life..a grandmother.. a sister..and a mother was all there was in life…
But anyway..my masculinity finally caught up with me..in midlife..and people no longer question that..
But i have to tell you..people telling you..you basically don’t deserve to either be happy or even live at times..because of a natural way that GOD makes some people..
Is a horrible way of hate..and when they say some kids no longer want to live..cause you know as GOD creates social animals..they really do have to be accepted and not rejected to want to live..THIS IS THE TRUTH….
BUT HERE’S THE THING..WHETHER OR NOT ANYONE LIKES IT OR NOT..AS SCIENCE INDICATES.. WHEREVER THERE ARE HUMAN BEINGS..IN ANY ONE GROUP INCLUDING CHURCH TODAY..
3 TO 5 PERCENT ARE HOMOSEXUALS.. CAUSE THAT IS PART OF GOD’S PLAN OF NATURE WHETHER IT STRIKES ANY ONE PERSON’S FANCY OR NOT…
OK..to be clear MGSR xxxxxx.. I am not mad at you..with the caps and all of that..
And the only saving grace of today for me..for continuing my home at your Catholic Church is those words did not come out of your mouth…
And please do not feel you need to express anything to me over this email..
But..i would not walk in the footsteps of Jesus..if i kept my mouth shut…
NO hell no..i was not going to do that..overall..
As not only were the words of Deacon xxxxxx..words of hate today..they are also words of death or even murder…
As there are some kids out in the audience..that are LIKELY on the last strand of the last rope they have in life..OF HOPE TO GO ON….
Yes.. part of that 3 to 5 percent that GOD MAKES THAT EXISTS EVERYWHERE THAT HUMANS EXIST IN LIFE…
My loving Xstepmother’s wonderful husband passed away this week..
And in attending the funeral driving to Tallahassee in all that rain and all of that..YESTERDAY..
The bright moment of the day..was an offering of words given by the two pastors at the United Church of Christ ..
And yes they were both homosexual women..who could only be partners..in life..as marriage is still not allowed in Florida for ‘folks like that’….
But the light of Christ in the those women’s eyes..and their adopted Children were Brighter than anything that Mr. xxxxxx..could likely imagine..my friend…
So with them in mind..instead of love..i felt the hate of Mr. xxxxxx today..and reflected THAT right back at him instead of singing today..but with a raspy throat from a week long cold that probably would not have happened anyway.. today…
So i guess it is good that i HAVE to wear sunglasses OVER A medical issue.. as no one saw the daggers in my eyes..that reflected MR. xxxxxx’s hate…
And to get that taste of hate out of my mouth..AND DAGGERS OUT OF MY EYES..i walked with my earphones on ..and listened to someone besides Mr. xxxxxxx..who truly walkS in the footsteps of the real Historical Jesus..CHRIST….
Not some made up man to control the patriarchal ways of the time..to keep women..and people who are born differently..in the place of that culture of that time….
So SINCE you are a very busy man..and i only have love and respect for every word OF CHRIST LOVE i HEAR come out of your mouth so far at church…
I WILL LEAVE YOU HERE WITH THE links to the HOMILY THAT BROUGHT MY SOUL BACK TO LIFE..TODAY…
NOT SURE if you have time to see the beauty of pop culture..that equals the love of THE REAL CHRIST THESE DAYS….
AND THANKS..for letting me vent here..as i really had to do this..
To move back to LOVE..at the church..to once again..be there..singing in the light of LOVE that is the True JESUS CHRIST..
WHO WOULD NEVER EVER NEVER EVER EXCLUDE OR NOT ACCEPT ANYONE BASED ON HOW GOD MADE THEM TO LIVE ON THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET CALLED EARTH…
LOVE YOU FRIEND..AND I guess we can’t thrOW the baby out with the bath water..huh..cause of ‘dirty water’ that still exists…
So i will pray for AND WITH you to keep delivering that TRUE MESSAGE OF CHRIST THAT YOU SO ELOQUENTLY SPEAK WHENEVER YOU ARE CALLED TO WALK IN HIS FOOTSTEPS AS ONE…
AND yes to accept the things that neither you or i cannot change still in the 21st century..
But at least thank GOD the POPE IS ENLIGHTENED ENOUGH TO HEAR THE TRUE WORDS OF CHRIST..
AS HE ONLY SAYS WHO AM I TO JUDGE..WHEN PRESENTED WITH WHETHER OR NOT GAY FOLKS SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY..
LIKE ANY OTHER LOVING HUMAN COUPLE..
JUST TO LOVE AND LIVE LIKE CHRIST….
RESPECTFULLY AND WITH LOVE..fred
And here IS the great response back..from Monsignor xxxxxxx..
Dear Fred,
I too was disturbed by the homily this morning and did speak to the deacon after Mass. While I don’t think he meant to speak words of hate, he did not offer the hope that should have come from the pulpit. Growing up in Milton and being hated because I was Catholic, I certainly understand your concerns. Thank you for praying for our parish community as we journey together as people of faith and love. Msgr. xxxxx
Well..when it comes to Jesus Christ and Love..anyone who TRULY walks in those footsteps could reasonably be called CHRIST..
SO tHere might as well be a Msgr. Christ at my church..
And even a Katy Christ or a Macklemore Christ as well..in pop culture..
The message of unconditional LOVE IS UNDENIABLY THE SAME LOVE..
FOR ALL HUMAN BEINGS REGARDLESS OF DIFFERENT WAYS OF THINKING AND BEING….
in esoteric teachings..being forecast for the future of human
existence..IS hErE KNOWNOW
!
WeLl in the ‘big’ world that exists..my opinion on this..
is relatively meaningless…
BUT that is of no concern..as the folks with a real
voice..with all the fame..
are playing in alignment with the true
Christ Consciousness gAmE
as well or
much..much better
than
me….
So here are some more thoughts and current
social artistic cues on that..
Per IS Jesus a ‘Progressive’
Political figure..
in historical..
con
text…
Yes this is so true in my estimation..and per the so called religious right..things really haven’t changed much as they still show hate for people who are different..like people of different religions..and people who are homosexual..and people like Miley Cyrus who choose to show their beautiful and sensual bodies..in freedom of expression…
Yes..Jesus was definitely progressive..and if he came back in the same form..those religious right folks would still likely reject him..and although crucifixion is no longer a viable option..they would likely nail him to every metaphorical cross they could find…
Well in effect.. the so called religious right evangelical wave of hate..is anti-Christ in true effect for those people ‘ignorant’ enough to take a beautiful book of poetry which is the bible..and particularly the New Testament..as a literal work of text…
It is so much more than that…
And yes..although the text has been sullied some by selfish desires of men to control the reproductive freedom of women..and the freedom of expression..by people as well..and fear to control people rather than allowing them to be as free as GOD allows any animal to be..
There are still nuggets of GOlD there that still exist for those who can discern the gold from the ‘tRash’ that does still exist in the bible…
From those more selfish individuals who would want to control the TRUE WILL of their fellow social animals….
Rather than to simply allow them to be free..like a Hawk or Seagull in the sky..or a Tiger in the Jungle..or a Lion on the Savannah…
Well at least in this country a person can now believe in the TRUE CHRIST WAYS OF LOVING BEINGS UNDER TRUE WILL..without harming others..and not literally be burned at the stake or crucified on a cross…
They can truly finally say f** you anti-Christ folks and tell ’em it’s our party and we can’t stop…
BUT WAIT..MILEY CYRUS ALREADY DID THAT..
!
Ya see.. Christ has already returned in many forms of human beings..
Just consider Miley Cyrus one of many thieves coming in the night….
I could provide a list of many others..for those who could discern truth….
The NEW AGE IS ALREADY HERE..
But not everyone is listening….
To the signs that are everywhere..in this world now…
But the folks that are..can hear IT LOUD AND CLEAR AND THEY ARE CELEBRATING THE TRUE LORD WHICH IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND TRUE WILL IN HARMING NO OTHERS..OUT IN THE STREETS EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD..WHERE TRUTH IS HEARD….
Apparently more folks can hear it..and on websites FOR MANY PEOPLE WHO may be somewhat out of tune with EQ.. that is simply LOVELY FRIENDS..
Thanks.. you make my day..and i don’t feel so alone..here in my small attempts to enlighten people…
For those of you who can hear..
that message of unconditional LOVE….
Some of Who were like me before..when i could discern or hear anything of the unconditional LOvE..that is the TRUE CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS….
Available to anyone in any form of language or religion..for those who can discern truth….
And time has no existence..in the greater reality that is…
Yah..that’s a philosophical statement..but i think it is truly true too..once the illusions of life are melted away…
Well..yah..i was 21 once 2..and i remember how i viewed love then..but OMG i view it so differently now than I did then…
Remembering my first love that i was no longer in touch was definitely a fantasy of love that was only in my heart of bits and pieces of the attachments that the usual jealous love that humans create as illusion..can create as prison more over..over all for a soul for heart with prickly pear feelings of isolation and despair…
Well i think i mentioned earlier that there are five researched and documented languages of love..including acts of service..physical touch..receiving gifts..words of affirmation..and quality time…
Well obviously.. all five of those aspects of materialistic human love can be missing in the fantasy constructed about an ideal of love that can be presented..it seems to me…
But in the marriage counseling that my wife and I have been receiving for the last over 2 years..there is a sixth type of love discussed there that is the LOVE OF ALLAH..and this thing called CHRIST in our western religions..that is far..far..far above the other types of traditional human love…
Well I told my marriage counselor about it first..and yah..as a Roman Catholic Pacific Islander..she could verify with me that this is TRUE and she could relate as many people without this connection to GOD or ThIS essence that I see as true..have no idea of what tHis sixth type of love even is..as one can only kNow it..if they experience IT…
Well to be honest..it pissed my wife off..as although she is a strong believing Christian person..she does not experience tHis sixth type of love..and she is alarmed as i tell her that i love everyone the same with tHis type of love..and not even more than her….
But again..tHeRe is emotional love..and yah..she is the special one for that…
But no matter what would ever happen between me and my life..or wife….
I will always have the sixth language of love..as THAT is ALLAH that NOW lives in me as
ONE..
Well dear..ONE again..is what i wish for you as ONE aGain..IS TRULY HEAVEN NOW…
IN ALL THE UNIVERSES OF MY UNDERSTANDING..OF WHATEVER COULD BE….
JUST ONE giving LOVEofALLAH..
Never taking..never expecting..only giving dear…
ISALLALLAHIS….
LOVE
THESIXTHLOVEDEAR
AND YAH.. THAT IS ALWAYS THE TYPE OF LOVE THAT I SHARE WITH YOU..AND ALL OTHERS2…..
ALLAHISALLAH
LOVE
AND WHAT IS CRAZY AS HELL..IS YOU GAVE IT TO ME..BUT I CANNOT TRULY MAKE ANYONE HAVE IT..I CAN ONLY GIVE IT..
right shoulder bone as related to Klippel Feil Syndrome..Stenosis
of Neural Canals in the spine..Severe Arthritis of the
spine..Autism Spectrum Disorder ( originally diagnosed with PDDNOS at age 48 instead of Asperger’s syndrome with an historic language development delay until age 4)..
Severe Anxiety..Depression..Mood Lability..Alexithymia..ADHD..
Congenitally Severe deviation of the Nasal Septum..and chronic inflammation
of related mucosa..where the ENT wondered how i could
even breathe through my nose..and nah they don’t
know if that could relieve some of the
facial pain with ENT surgery
or even make
it worse….
Total Human Exhaustion otherwise known as General Adaptation
Syndrome…or more commonly known as a Nervous Breakdown..
to..2
ShARE th@wITh
hIM!
IS ALL tHERE
IS..
reALLy th@counts
my dear WhITe..
lAla
PeArl…
yOUR
friend
Fr
ed
And
hIM
yA sEe
YES!
neverNO!
IS ALwAYS LOVE!
my friend!
YOU SEAS
wITH
me
and we others!
will
flo@toGETheR
in life
and
LOVE!
ForeveroneNOW!
foreevermoreNOW!
as
oneAONE!
never L!
for alone
ya
see..
(;:)
LOVEISALL
IShIM
And yah..i will wrITe poems like tHIs!
ya see..
until ya let us kNow
th@youareoK!
And no I wILl never give up on you my friend..
Cause true friends are forever..
ISalLISAY
*NEVERselfIShiSaheARTlIketHIs
*yOURheARTisaUNiVERSeofLOVEtoSHare
ANDREW GOLD
Thank You For Being A Friend Lyrics
Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
your heart is true you’re a pal and a confidant
I’m not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow
And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see, the biggest gift would be from me
and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
If it’s a car you lack
I’d surely buy you a cadillac
Whatever you need, anytime of the day or night
I’m not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow
And when we both get older
With walking canes and hair of gray
Have no fear, even though it’s hard to hear
I will stand real close and say,
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Let me tell you bout a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
And when we die and float away
Into the night, the Milky Way
You’ll hear me call, as we ascend
I’ll see you there, then once again
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
(I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
Whoa, tell you about a friend
(Thank you right now, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend
(I wanna tell you right now, and tell you again)
Thank you for being a friend
(I wanna thank you, thank you, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend
(lyrics are property of their respective owners. Lyrics are strictly for viewing/reading purposes only. Lyrics are provided here for at least one very nice individual in Pakistan..where youtube is censored)
Postscript:
While this post IS dedicated to an individual that I meet across my three year travels on the internet..
When one attains this thing I describe as the ‘Christ Consciousness’..this is truly how one feels about everyone..in my best estimation…
Even a grain of sand..a molecule or less than atom…
Well..yah..when I was at the bottom of the abyss of human hell..I wished away the Universe..just so i would not have to commit suicide to escape pain..
So yah..i was the most selfish person in the world at that time in my life…
So nah..i could never ever never ever judge a person personally for any transgression against another..
Even the murderer of my wife..mother ..or child…..
AS my transgression was infinitely greater as a misanthrope against all..even other animals…
But..there is a way ..i think to turn that all around no matter the depth of despair or the coldness of apathy for all others…
But the path is always unique..i think2..so we can only share our experiences…
I remember seeing Virgin translated as pure of soul in the mythology of Mary..
This is an amusing Video that debunks some of the myths associated with the mythology of Mary not liking sex….
It seems with the connections that have been drawn between the Egyptian mythologies of Horus..Isis..and Set..that the symbolic meaning of Mary OR ISIS was yes a pure soul..but a tiger in the bed..if one wills…
Most of all humans are sensual beings..and to repress any aspect of this..is to really f*** things up..in my best estimation…
In my own personal experience the more I attempted to repress any aspect of this..whether the natural occurring so called feminine emotions or so called feminine movements described as such in our patriarchal culture…
What really did result was the blockage of energy and emotions..and resulting pain..and or numbness of existence..that yah..really..really..really..does suck…
The best thing that i have developed for myself to get back in to touch with my emotions and what might be called as the so called feminine side of my human nature..is a kind of soul dance that is already well described as Chakra Dance here at these links:
Most of my life I have read about Chakras off and on..and have sensed a truth about this phenomena along the way in life..but was too dam busy with stress and work and all of that to really get to the bottom of
IT
!
Well..in this reverse dancing.. and yah..actually a kind of belly dancing I have found myself doing here in public lately after losing all illusory fears accumulating during my 50 plus year life..
I came across this link on chakra dancing today..on google…
As the ecstasy of energy I AM gaining by doing these sensual movements of hips..torso..etc..along with the high energy of modern selected musicK…
IS reALLy more than anything that IS WHaT IS bringing me this great balancING sense of bliSs through my every waking microsecond…
Well..now I understand that those strippers I was watching WHEN A YOUNGER man were not just ‘doing that’ for the money…
The looks of ecstasy on their faces as they moved their hips and torso in sensual ways as described in western cultures as a type of belly dancing..IS the connection of the powerful human sensual energy for balance that we most all have the potential for.. to truly experience…
This thing i call blISs or heaven in real life..and yah..Jesus and Buddha probably danced in spare time like thIS..as thIS reALLy ain’t nothing new in historic cultures of the ancient past…
The Egyptians did this kind of dance..a long long time ago..and cultures have been practicing a variety of it..throughout recorded time .. and likely prehistoric cultures as well as that…
It’s just a natural thing..if ya got a lot of time on your hands..go out in nature and just move..just move with MUSICK of nature either natural or man-made..this is what I think..what will eventually naturally happen with human movement…
Spinning..swaying..moving hips..and torso and doing it IN reverse..cause eventually it feels better than a frigging normal human orgasm…
@least to me….
Well i’ve been thinking a lot about SOULdance here lately..after finding so many advantages of doing it in private in my back yard..and even in frigging public to my wife’s sometimes dismay…
As sHe IS never expecting a belly dancer out in public for her husband when we first get to togetHer…..
But Like Nike says..sometimes you just gotta DO IT TO get iT correct….
And after watching that video..my description of what i have been doing is truly more like soul dancing or chakra dancing than a ballerina type dance….
The girl in the black cap is more of what i am doing than the refined lady in the tutu…
It’s rough around the edges and has a primal element to it..not some dam carefully designed and choreographed dance..
It’s free..and yeah..that’s simply me here lately…
FREE
LIVING IN THE KINGDOM OF
FREEDOM
Or what i personally describe IS heaven and blISs..
Not that f***** up place i describe as hell and the abyss…
That IS simply the loss of the sensual feelings of being a fully emotional human being..along with that logic stuff that i can always.. it seems take for granted..per my particular form of autism ..as it may be….
But it did keep me sane..when I almost totally lost my emotions..so I will never discount the POWER OF LOGIC as a mighty human specific..it seems.. ‘ABSTRACT’ FORCE….!
But yah..baby..
SOULDANCE..
I
THINK..
IS
TRULY
WHERE
IT’S
@
And yah these are some more still photographs
of
my
soul
dance moves…
Most everything i do is usually
leading to another
logical
point
ya..
see..hahahehe..
dam scientist in me
just never stops it
seems..
2
too
🙂
Well..sorry I’m not using
a
big budget to get thIS message across..
but i gotta say..
when
i
do
tHIS
in
real live public
in the local
mALL..
IT
does make
some type of real
impact
2
!
No one else.. especiALLy
male..
will
dare to
do
It..
it seems..
Here in
my local
area…
So am i crazy
or
just
am
i true…
i
think i just
walk in the footsteps
of wh@
i
personALLy
see
as
TRUE
!
and th@is
all that any of us
tRULy
can
do!
But anyway again..
try it..
yah might like
IT..
and yah..’Trust
ME’
on tHis
one…
i
think i got it
mostly
correct…
And nah..i ain’t
the only one in history
or ‘that’
bible..
that’s
tried
it
before…
So yah..neither King David or
Miley Cyrus
are
afraid to shake their
butTs.. to worship the
‘lord’..
in so called
undignified
ways…
The messages keep coming
and keep coming..
Listen or
not.. they are there
and everywhere
in the public
EYE
NOW
!
THE NEW WORLD
ORDER
IS
AL
READY
here.. and approaching
fast…
SO get ready.. dance baby…
cause it’s
time
to
@celebr@e..
@
TGIS
!
THANK GOD
!
IS
all i have to say’bout
th@ONE
!
Orallahgodallahor
wh@
ever..
IS
IS
Oh and yah..there are some folks
in the general public wiTh reALLy..reALLy
big budgets getting tHIS
message across the world..
VEVO
is a DRIVING
FORCE THAT MAY
eventuALLy arrive in
middle eastern countries..
where youtube is currently
censored…
And yeah..Rihanna reALLy is one of
the greatest ‘queens’ of the illuminati..
of SOULdance…
And she is saying the essentiALLy
same things I am saying in tHIS blog
post hEre..
And literally working her tail off..
to get th@message..
A
CROSS
!
To the general public..
And yah..with around 77 million views..
on Youtube already..it’s working it’s working..
it’s working..and heRe
are a few other examples..some
of which are approaching
2 BILLION LAND…
AND NAH TH@2012 MAYAN
STUFF WASN’T ABOUT
CATACLYSM
!
IT WAS ALL ABOUT
A RETURN TO THE
COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS
OF
HUMANs AND ALL OTHER
ANIMALS..
AND MATERIAL EXISTENCE
2
!
TH@IS THE REAL
TRUTH
OF
EXISTENCE
!
AND yah.. just my opinion friend(S)..
in caps or not in caps…
And yAh..PSY is brave2..
for a dude…
HehehaHa…
TH@’s the way i like
IT
!
2
too…
And yAh..
the human animal power of mirror neurons..
is simply fabulous 2…
Try watching all those videos at the same time and