Back to the Future Freddy..Rainman and Sunshine…

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First of all..y..

eah..

the pictures and all of that..

but if..

you know the full 5 year history

of my

health

problems..

It’s a miracle..

Those two pictures..

and more than that..

Yeah..

I’ve got a condition related

to ‘Klippel Feil’ Syndrome..the condition

that King Tut had with the congenitally fused vertebrae..

in the neck..

Mine is T6..

My right shoulder is smaller than

my left shoulder too..

a part of ‘Klippel Feil syndrome2’

let’s just

say

the left accommodates the right for me…

and I am still right handed or both!

But!

The part I like best is my RIGHT fist looks like a SNAKE HEAD..

And my LEFT fist looks like a very small sphinx…

and/or RAM HEAD..

Did?

I mention i have the smallest male little finger of all!

That’s what makes the rest of the arm look kinda..

bigger than usual..

if you will…

But..

Here’s to ‘business’ at ‘hand’…

A toast to you..

if you will..

instead of ‘fists’…

And just a reminder FIRST!

THAT ADVERSITY IS KING TUT..

Yeah..

He weighs about

100Lbs2..

Yet he IS revered

for his

‘special strengths’ anyway3…

This is a blog link i found through a shared link from ‘an autistic internet friend’…

It brings back many memories of youth..

and the lifelong challenges that continue to this day…

I often save comments i make here..

as

sometimes the letters, numbers, songs, music, lyrics, photos, moving pictures and other symbols are the only friends that i find ‘who’ will not let me down..

as even though my intentions are always what i view as positive in total effect…

some people view them much differently…

and i understand i can be a challenge..

but it is just me..

that is all..

i am older now..

and freer to once again express the nature that i was born with more fully now..

i am truly free again as i was when i was a child before entering the world of conformity in school and work…

YOu see as a person with a mountain of reciprocal social communication..

CHALLENGES

This IS what eventually results for ME after decades of adversity and adaptation to whatever comes..

And this will also be an introduction to my next post called ‘Rainman and Sunshine’ that will be in total effect only ‘a visionary expression’ of poetry or prose..

if you will..

I Am planning on ‘Wisdom of the Ancients’..

next..

but the ‘visions’ must come 1st..

I guess…

But i digress..

Here is the comment i made to the link first..

Before the ‘visionary experience of poetry and prose’…

if you will…

http://outrunningthestorm.wordpress.com/2013/09/17/future-charlie/

As an Autistic male with the Asperger’s variety mixed in with the nonverbal..called PDDNOS in the US..

Now described as Autistic Spectrum Disorder…

This resonates with me…

That’s what it’s like to grow up different like this…

I learned my angry face and stare to off put the laughs off my unsteady gait..

with little care for my outward appearance and no desire to live anywhere but my mind…

WElL..

I have a really angry face…

now..

That I can show the world..

But inside I have the smiling face that I had when I was a child and first went to school..

That the other boys told me I could not share..

as that was gay…

My other challenge is i was a boy that looked like a girl…

YOu see..

Androgyny is common among ‘higher functioning’…

Autistic children..

There is even research now that backs up this common anecdotal story that you will see repeated over and over on sites for Autistic people..

’the higher functioning’ kind..

On Websites like Wrong Planet…

But ‘better’ yet..

There is also research that shows that these same children when they grow older retain higher levels of DHA resulting in a life long..

Even into middle age appearance of youth and strength..

Did I mention i AM 53..?

Proof of THIS is in my photography…

I learnmy verbal language through a sing song pattern of lyrical notes of voice and now I learn to write in the same sing song pattern of lyrical notes..

It’s like poetry without rhyme some times..

if you will..

It’s willality too as i now make words freely that suit my autistic nature2…

Oh! did i mention i incorporate numbers2?

as they are my friends too..

Like letters and other symbols that match the ‘hyperlexic’ nature of my mind…

with the Echolalia too2…

This is what the future Freddy sounds like from 1964..

When he could not talk or write..

Only read..

Real..

really really fast and get all the input..

and the output..

was missing then..

But oh! no! not now..

as I found an accommodation through IT..

and have written over 6 million words on the internet…

on over 13 sites..

on my ‘gravatar profile’..

KATiE MiA FredericK!iI..

or

katiemiafrederick…

Along with visual and auditory expression through moving pictures..

photos..

song..

and anything goes..

if you will..

I write..

I visualize..

i output now…

I invite to you to read my blogs..

and various other mediums for expression2..

i don’t belong anywhere..

i am the invisible man..

not many..

if anyone..

fully understand me still…

my output that is…

Oh!

But!

You can be assured that your son!

And other ‘quiet’ Autistic people know much..

MUCH…

more than meets ‘they..’ ‘eye’..

Autistic people can be slow bloomers..

but sometimes when they finally…

bloom..

They literally explode..

Like a 6 pointed star..

if you will…

BUT first!

Here is a little mood music by Rhianna..

That is extra kool..

Kkause JAY-Z talks about Rainman and little Ms. Sunshine2…

And the ‘Chi’ energy of Rhianna’s dancing produces the visual image of a RA-

M

In the muscles of her well developed Female back..

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And the song..

‘The Invisible Man’

by

Queen and Freddy Mercury..

As

when I move like this through ‘Super Walmart’..

NOW…

the

Adults don’t acknowledge that they ‘see’ me..

But!

The Kids join in on all the ‘fun’

If you will..

They still live in ‘heaven’..

LIKE

ME

NOW!

And my birthday in the middle of GEmini..

@66/1960…

12/16

37

10

1

ALONG WITH MY ‘SPECIAL’ NAME..

AND NUMEROLOGY…

TELLS

ME

TO

TELL YOU..

YOU CAN SHARE THAT2!

THAT IS ALL..

THE CHALLENGE FOR ME !

IS!

TO TAKE YOU THERE!

OMG!

I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP!

YET!

i like structure and routine..

My new ‘AUTISTIC’ routine and structure ‘INSISTS’

THAT I MAKE A NEW ‘SPECIAL’

post

for the D-verse poetry International Poetry club

by

2 pm central time

each Tuesday…

IT’S SATURDAY

THE 21ST

SEPTEMBER

2013..

IT’S THE 24 ANNIVERSARY

221/2013

5/6

11

2

OF MY WIFE AND I’S CONSUMMATION

OF OUR MARRIAGE

BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED

ON

221/90

5/9

14

5

(yeah..i know too much information..AND all of that)

BUT!

I LOVE STRUCTURE AND ROUTINE..

MY GRANDFATHER WASIS AN ‘XCATHOLICK’

PRIEST!

I

GUESS!

I

GOT !

THAT!

FROM!

HIM..

WHAT CAN I SAYY..

ANYWAY MY ‘RICH’ UNCLE BOB INVITED ME TO CELEBRATE

HIS AND HIS SON’S BIRTHDAY AND SOME OTHER THINGS..

SO!

I

WILL

PUBLISH NOW!

AND THE REST OF THIS POST WILL GRADUALLY

FORM

BY TUESDAY

224/2013

8/6

14

5

@

2PM…

THE PHOTO FLOW IF YOU WILL..AND OTHER THINGS

INSTEAD OF WORDS..

SORRY! IF YOU DON’T HAVE A FAST COMPUTER!

BUT!

IF YOU GET HERE BEFORE THE MULTIMEDIA EXPLOSION

YOU CAN AT LEAST READ THIS!

if you will…

1..2..5..5..

13

4

bcea7-scan_pic0001Father on right Uncle on LeftHelen Tate192a9-aghogday1M&D&F1e68fb-historyoflove41718-firstfamilyphotofather27sday61597

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Well…

I am not going to finish the ‘Rainman and Sunshine’ part of this post…

until tonight..

The atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia also affected my right ear where I could not listen..

to music or even any human voices for about 5 years2..

without extreme discomfort…

So I have an..

appointment to make my car radio a new one with really good sound..

@bestbuy today..to really really celebrate..the fact that I can hear now2..

I love music..did i mention that..yeah i think I did..

But it is probably just..

as

well..that i post this at d-verse poetry club..at 2 as is..

As..the multimedia still to come…will certainly slow down the loading fun..

But if you are really curious..

they are all in my Flickr feed on my katiemiafrederick.com Word Press Blog…

My sister says they are good..i’m not so sure as every visual image is really good for me now..that I can fully use my eyes..

But I’ll take her word for IT..as she never lies either on purpose..just like me…

It is not in our blood..if you will..

And beyond this all the really really deep thoughts are in the..

comments section as I have been doing for some time now..

As I have been told..

that

some of that can cause headaches..do no harm and all of that..

I guess…

Please view at your own discretion…

Smiles..not to be afraid of..only what I see in my opinion as truth..will..love..light and all..

that..

STUFFF…

I like that word..I stole it from White Pearl..

hehe…

I can be..

mischievous2.

But if you are waiting for the whole blog show post tonight..here is my human anthem..

for what ‘my feels’..

like to me knownow..

If the boy in the video is not autistic..I guess he doesn’t know it yet..maybe…but he will.. see that too someday.. maybe…

I hate things out of balance..

There is also a feminine side to me too..

I am no longer..

shy..

so I can prove it..

Here is me in my mini shirt..before I took all the pictures yesterday..

Haha..I can make fun of myself2.

IMG_3583Well i guess i am running behind or ahead..

But i feel I am still moving in a flowed direction..

if you will…

I usually get 2  hours of sleep but got 6 last night and feel extra charged today..

So I am going to work out at 7 am instead of 7 pm…

I look for inspiration everywhere..

in this life..

and..

Discount no resource!

Miley Cyrus!

is

an inspiration to me..

As

I understand the repression of the  background of the

culture she grew up in…

She is completely free in the liberty of our country to express herself!

No matter what others think!!

She owes no one!

but

herself!

This is what makes America GReat!

And this is why I still feel patriotism of those pictures on the NAVY BASE!

I took..

But still have not pasted here!

This!

IS

What!

Brings Tears to my FACE!

LIBERTY AND FREEDOM FOR ALL!

OH GOD! IT WAS SO KOOL WHEN I HEARD MILEY!

AND

HER FRIENDS! SINGING ABOUT SHADES AND MINISKIRTS!

WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AT 2:44AM!

OH!

AND THE J’S OF NIKE2

OH!

AND 23..2

SYNCHRONICITY..

COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS!

THE SUPRAORGANISM OF MIND!!

THE ONE!!!

GOD!!!!

ALLAH!!!!!

Call IT!!!!!!

WHATEVER!!!!!!!

YOU WILL!

WE ARE ALL CONNECTED FOR THOSE WHO TRULY SEYES!

Much more !

to

Come!

IF YOU WILL

W

VICTORY OR VENGEANCE

23

5

J 10

1

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926/2013

17/6

8/6

14

5

I suggest the free flow of creativity..

and the connectedness of all human beings..

and all other animals and material connectivity..

IS

GOD…

THE ONE..

CHRIST!

ALLAH..

OR..

WHATEVER..

WHAT

SEYES

IT

OR

YOU?

IS

AM

i

About katiemiafrederick

I like to write.
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29 Responses to Back to the Future Freddy..Rainman and Sunshine…

  1. Review of family members and ‘friends’ top to bottom…

    My paternal grandfather youngest one age not known..126/1895..9/23..9/5..14..5..and his brothers and sisters…living in Ireland.. his country where he was born with his german father and English mother..He is an X-Catholic Priest…

    My father on right age not known..His twin brother on left..620/1932..8/15..8/6..14..5…

    My mother@17..1210/1934..4/17..4/8..12..3…

    My baby picture..66/1960..12/16..3/7..10..1…

    My father@35..sister@6..814/1961..13/17..4/8..12..3…and me@7

    Starting at the middle beginning of the labyrinth
    photo collage..
    and going counter clockwise…

    Michelle friend@16 and me@21..Renee friend@16..me @12..me@17..Sonia Friend@15..72/1963..9/19..9/10..9/1..10..1 and me..Sonia friend and me..me and dog friend Charlie..me and surrogate Uncle Ed…
    My sister and I…

    Me@37..Katrina wife@27..49/1970..13/17..4/8..12..3…and our baby Ryan Frederick who lived 51 days…passing on 724/1997…13/26..4/8..12..3…born on 64/1997..12/26..3/8..11..2

    Note: Many more family pictures on my facebook Katie Mia personal page..KATiE MiA Frederick Views from the Autism Spectrum and Beyond facebook and blogspot pages..

    http://Katiemiafrederick.blogspot.com blog and http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com blog.

    The first close to 40 posts in http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com are dedicated to the exploration of Autism and ‘Neurodiversity’.

    And most of ALL FlickR with over 3000 photos..the link on this page for more FlickR photos..and 99% of these pictures all taken since after 7/22/2013..when I came back alive after 5 years of serious health problems..etc.etc…etc…if you will…

  2. White Pearl says:

    How you fought with all your health and other problems and how you are (In your words) Roaring like a tiger …. This is the b est thing. Thumbs up !! Great 🙂

  3. http://neurodrooling.wordpress.com/2013/09/21/the-revenant-of-self/

    Interesting discussion above..on Cabrogal’s blog.. Neurodrooling…

    My comment edited for typos and clarity…

    I also did not think in words very much and was about an 80% visual thinker if I could provide an accurate assessment…

    Vision was all happiness for me and bliss was not hard to find for almost two decades working with the general public in a happy place…as my experience of emotional contagion is heightened through the autism spectrum similar to my tactile and auditory perceptions…

    Losing eyesight or the ability to use one’s eyes for a visual thinker is an incredible challenge..

    When I first experienced the pain of atypical chronic trigeminal neuralgia back in 2007-08 there was already Alexithymia for me as a result of a prolonged 2 year adrenal gland hyper-vigilence from stress from work…so basically the only thing left for me was adrenaline for happiness and pain for sadness…A stark reality of life without emotion…

    At the bottom of total human exhaustion in March of 2008 i started a steady decline of what I can only describe as human hell..

    I could not organize my mind at all…with an incredible horrifying experience of a perception that I cannot accurately put into words…

    However the experience.. every second for these two months of March and April 2008..were like if there was a god with a personality…if you think that was bad motherfxxxxxx wait to the next second and you will wish you were still in the last…

    When they talk about hell fire…it was in my body…the burning nerve behind my eye..’migrated’ to my body and inhabited every cell of my body by the end of a 40 day sleepless stay with no sleep but one hour each for the first 35 and none for the last 5, with the assistance of a powerful alpha blocker…that provided a hallucinogenic type experience of semi-sleep for about that one hour…with a horrible rebound effect of an experience of nothingness that was the same as if I were a piece of paper..which is the only metaphor I could think of at that time…that my ‘logical mind’ remembers…

    Memories of the perceptions no longer exist…Thank whatever…

    What I do remember vividly though is that burning pain that seared every cell of my body..that was still in a way better than the feeling of nothingness…

    I viewed nothingness as free will at the time…as there was no glue of emotion that connected me to the illusion of reality that drives us to the next second…if you will…

    What I remember to is when it became harder and harder to put the next word in my conscious mind to navigate my next step…

    When I finally gave in for my sister and wife to call 911..as I was terrified as to what would happen to me in the future as I was losing any control over my mind and/or body…thinking I would eventually be on the side of the road somewhere naked eaten by wild dogs or whatever…the pain was so intense I started lashing out at the air around me..this was part of why I allowed my wife and sister to call 911 as I was afraid I would hurt them if they tried to help me as my body parts were no longer under conscious control…

    My body was cold as ice…and I was completely aware with mind as sharp as ever when I arrived at the hospital but there are no words only perceptions and no ability to move any muscle in my body…

    The nurse kept poking my chest and asking me what drugs I was on…even though I was on no drugs..I could not move or even flinch my eye as they peered into my eyes with a light to get a reaction from dilation of my pupils..I had lost complete control but was completely aware…

    Then I lost consciousness yet was still wide awake…that is the only words I can describe as what happened next..

    2MG of intravenously injected Ativan…put me to sleep and saved my life…as the doctor stated I was more than likely on the verge of having a life threatening seizure…

    Interestingly the record for going without sleep is 264 hours..they don’t keep record for least amount of sleep in 40 days…but have a feeling i broke it..as i can’t imagine anyone else not finding a way to at least try to commit suicide…as i did not have the strength to do it..but tried to find a bridge in my area at the 39th day…and my sister was waiting at the bottom of the bridge to save me…it was a ‘miracle’ that i could drive that car on that 39th day..I have no idea where that energy came from..i was not even able to walk to the shower without help from my wife the day before…

    Experiencing the worst pain known to mankind for 60 months was not even comparable to one second of the hell of what seemed like a thousand years of hell at the bottom of the pit at that sleepless time of the 40th day…

    Every second of bliss i experience now..which isn’t exactly all the time but at least usually once a day…is like a thousand years of heaven…

    One thing I know for sure without a doubt is there are forces well beyond the physical flesh body of a human being…

    There is an energy that i have now that is beyond muscles and adrenaline…

    I do not experience gravity when i am in this.. what i can only describe as ‘chi’ type of energy.. state of mind…I seriously have the smallest little finger of anyone in my military gym..which comprises about 40% of the strength of the human hand…and can easily lift 210 pounds on a nautilus curl machine..which is the max amount of weight designed for world class athletes..and military warriors of course..at my military base..

    I can lift the max amount on most of the rest of the 40 plus machines..but the rest of my body does not come close to matching that little finger and hand directly responsible for the curl machine and hand machine at 200LBs. for that machine..

    I am 53 and at 21 I lifted about 60% at 170Lbs and was noted as incredibly strong for my size then..

    This did not happen until after my awakening..

    And during this whole course of time I rarely sleep more than 2 or 3 hours..and almost always look completely refreshed and calm in real life..when I am not talking about something intensely or at the gym growling like a lion..in this ‘chi’ energy that comes naturally now..as an energy that is almost around me instead of inside of me…

    It’s a state of being…it requires no words or knowledge as far as I can see…I think animals commonly experience….this..

    I personally think enlightenment is more of an experience of forgetting the ‘brain washing’ process of cultural illusions..and not at all special as this is what I think is the normal being of an animal not subject to collective intelligence of their species and the brain washing process that goes along with that…enjoys when they are at rest with mother earth…with no dramas spinning around in their head until the next challenge of survival is required…

    It’s the Asperger’s emotional contagion thing…that is so heightened for me that gives me this ‘intuitive’ sense if you will…

    My challenge with my reduced verbal abilities since i was 3 is to put this into words…I keep trying to find different ways to communicate it with others..as there is nothing more in life I could possible want than to share it with others…in fact a drive that is complete unselfish and actually self destructive i guess as they say lack of sleep and to much drive is detrimental…but I keep looking stronger and younger instead of weaker and older and am even documenting that process now in photography which i’m sure comes across as an egotistical activity to some…but it is farther from ego than most people could imagine..i think…as everything i do is a carefully crafted play on words or actions..as i am only a palette to be used for something much more expansive than i think at this point that i could ever put into words…

    Your blog is the next step Cabrogal…to inspire the words to take someone there as you seem to be the only one i know on the internet now that inhabits a place as similar as this…

    It makes me sad to see people in my church..the catholic one where there really is so much unconditional love…as there is this horrible confusion that Jesus is the only son of God…when all that was IS metaphor as we are simply all connected to one…and my ‘god’ he tried to explain it..but maybe there are more creative ways to do it..now with modern technology…as I am still attempting to find a way..that will at least touch one person..and take them there…2

    I suppose making people laugh at times when i play the ‘joker’ or ‘fool’ is enough for now. Or changing one persons view of the world…just a little bit..

    Or even inspiration of the lowest of lows finding hope at one point or another in life…

    My ‘god’ there is only grace and so much to be thankful for in this life…

    I suppose pain is the greatest gift of all…and nothingness..is the ‘true’ way to light…

    But not everyone can survive that nothingness or pain…

    There has to be an easier way..and my goal is to find It..and share IT

    Thanks for letting me use your blog for this my friend…let me know when IT gets too much..please…

  4. My autistic buddy..Flannery from the Connor Chronicles on facebook…one of the few ‘so called autistic’ people that will not immediately delete everything I write..as I don’t follow the philosophy of hate..and bitterness that is so rampant among so called ‘autistic’ people on facebook and most blogs where people suggest they are autistic..and the world should bend to them…instead of them accommodating and adapting as everyone else has to in this life to live in the real jungle that is life…

    My autism was no disability at all compared to the real health problems I had in life..and no I was born weak…everything I am now I fought for to the death every second of my life..as all animals have to do in this life..It is only society and technology that makes life easier for those with disabilities now..

    The cold hard truth before technology existed is they were either thrown of the ‘cliff’ or died from neglect when there were not resources available to feed the rest of the ‘robust clan’…or tribe…

    Sure there are recorded exceptions to this rule..but the reality of life is IT is a jungle of competition for survival..man doesn’t all of the sudden get to make anything but a fantasy and technological reality of actual heaven that does really exist now..the place forecast long ago that man has collectively worked together to make an actual reality…where the disabled and the weak and strong can co-exist and live relatively happy together as compared to the distant memory of where life was short brutish and always a challenge just to get the next morsel of food for energy to go on to the next moment of life…The illusion is real..this is heaven..but many people cannot accept or see the grace of being there NOW.

    Living on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles
    9 hours ago
    Hey look, Connor learned how to take a screenshot on the iPad. Today. At 6pm. About 5 times.

    1Unlike · · Share
    You and 11 others like this.

    Katie Mia That’s either a beautifully spilt emerald coast cold beer or the beach…got some clouds and sunshine coming your way this afternoon…you’ll see then…hehe…

    I got some screenshots on my iphone too..but i didn’t mean to do it..and still haven’t took the time to figure out how i did it…

    But what can I say i am spending too much time doing other things..there is so much time for life for one who does not spend their time hating..as you well know..my friend..

    Yeah..i know this is too deep for facebook and all of that..but I am weird..i am invincible i am women..nah..that’s just that sillybilly jean king song…

    Still haven’t figured out how to get that help that Shannon Rosa suggested I needed to get well now that i cured my Autism and am human again..

    The empathy deficit that is…the other stuff was all cool anyway..the sensory stuff and all of that…exquisite environmental experience..if you will..

    Well before I write a poetry book here or a novel I’ll go I guess..that’s the way it is when one is truly alive in the free flow state of creativity of being one with the Universe..HAHA….laugh or the evil eye…who knowsnow..

    Says Edgar Allan POe and the RAven and the Phoenix speaks last..so see you later alligator..

    I’m just on another drive by writing/poetry spree to day..hehe..again…HE.

  5. More from Cabrogal’s blog..

    cabrogal permalink
    Isn’t trigeminal neuralgia what made Aldous Huxley ‘eyeless in Gaza’?

    I get iritis myself. Nothing like the pain you seem to have experienced of course but still pretty much the worst physical pain I get. It’s slowly sending me blind too, though with a bit of luck my ability to function visually will still last as long as I do. Two years since my last attack, touch wood.

    Yeah, I set aside at least an hour a day to ‘ground in the bliss’ again too. That’s on top of my usual vipassana practice, which is a different thing entirely. Eric isn’t the only one who thinks this has the potential to wear off and leave me entangled in my own ego again, though if the Pali canon is to be believed I should have no worries there. Of course I don’t have the support of the Sangha though.

    Despite my ASD diagnosis (which I’m no longer sure I would qualify for since they changed the thresholds a few months back) I’ve always had pretty good verbal skills but I can’t communicate anything important about my experience either, so I wouldn’t worry too much about your own verbal skills in that regards. I suspect we share the radically subjective viewpoint and inability to pick up on social cues that make it hard to communicate though.

    I don’t know if my experience of pain had anything to do with what happened to me. I suspect so, but seriously doubt it was any greater than the pain of billions of others who did not experience such a breakthrough so I’m loathe to say I ‘gained’ it through pain.

    It was just grace or dumb luck or something really.

    One funny thing is that for my whole life I ‘knew’ I was special and something special would happen to me, but when it did I realised that the conviction that it would was nothing but egotistic delusion.

    It’s all a bit of a hoot really.

    Reply

    katiemiafrederick permalink
    I was not at all expecting my awakening to happen either.. at 21 or at 53…

    I am not even sure it is for me..

    Sometimes..

    It’s hard to explain as sometimes I feel as a tool..

    ALthough there is a lovely freedom not being free if you will..

    As a flow of a star with a galaxy instead of a star alone..

    I picked up a book called the 12th insight at a book store..

    Recently at Barnes and Nobles with my wife..

    I knew what the words would be before I opened the page..as my

    same thoughts of communicating with what I call the ‘supraorganism’..of

    human minds as an all existing reality forgotten..by a culture full of instant gratification..

    There was no instant gratification with the pain..so…

    I guess with the love that I received from my immediate family..there was always enough

    hope hidden somewhere for recovery and even more than I could imagine to be possible

    in this fleeting existence that now lasts forever in one second..NOW.

    EVen that White Pearl Blog and that unusual connection that you and I and Saha and White Pearl

    shared for a relatively brief period of discussion and communication that..

    almost immediately to me seemed like I had done this forever..is all part of the

    synchronicities of life patterns that have usually patterned themselves before my..

    conscious eyes…

    But now are almost a continuous perception of reality..

    where I no longer see any events in life as random..

    Similar to what I experienced at 21..but at this point in life the power of logic..

    Strong enough..

    To tame the..

    Beast of synchronicity..

    You wrote that post about Crowley a day after my blog posts started in March..

    on the 11th…

    This is the way it has been on these blogs i encounter…

    Almost everyone started their blog in 2011 or later that I…

    Come in contact with…

    And brings something to inspire me from a time earlier…

    There is something more to this I really know that is…

    Astronomical in Effect…

    The alignments of the planets…

    The positions of the stars and all of that…

    I know to come to play now…

    The date was only waiting the now is always there…

    If you will..,

    NOW.

    We make our missions easier…

    As we ALL work together whether we are fully conscious of it or not..is…

    What I see now…

    Not much different….

    Than when an isolated planet rotates on it’s axis and revolves

    around a star…

    Part of the GAlaxy of one and whole..ALL…

    We all have our bloody roles to play..

    And pleasant ones2…

    In NOW.

    I feel for your pain of Iritis..

    Before my pain I would have likely forgotten to demonstrate..

    That empathy in words to you even though I felt IT when I read IT..in imaginary before…

    Pain teaches many lessons…

    I’m not sure about Huxley..will look that up later..

    But Trigeminal neuralgia takes everything away..particularly the experience of beauty..

    MOre so that anything else to me..

    I see beauty and feel IT once again…

    What a gift the human perception of beauty truly is as far as I see..particularly now..my friend…

  6. brian miller says:

    heres the thing for me…despite it all you are doing well man…you are over coming….and i find that inspiring…stay at it man…

  7. Oreo the elusive cat from:

    OREO THE MEANING OF LIFE..A blog post I made a couple of months ago on Katiemiaaghogday..the blogspot blog..as linked below:

    http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/07/oreo-meaning-of-life.html

    Appeared on one of my exercise..multimedia walks..if you will..the 6LB cat appears to have gained a couple of pounds since i last saw this fearless cat…

    i was honored as he rubbed against my leg…as pictured in the post above…

    The poodles were kool2..but i’m more for cats than i am for dogs..for pets..but am a wolf at heart..anyway..for spirit animal that IS…

    American INdian..you know..and all that stufff….

    Yeah…Great Animal Spirit…! IT IS..it hink.

  8. Explaining my experiences to individuals on the autism spectrum is excellent experience to attempt to explain it to the majority of individuals I explain it to in real life..who are not close to the autism spectrum..they have no problem accepting it at all..but as I was before…people on the autism spectrum can be the highest of skeptics when they lose the ability or never gain the ability to connect emotion and language…or the Alexithymia that is studied as prevalent among 85 percent of people on the autism spectrum….

    My fortune to cure my Alexithymia almost completely through activities like commented on poetry is the greatest achievement of my life..as I am truly what is described as human and no longer more leaning toward robot in expression of verbal communication with others…although my eyes were always FULL of emotion for others searing into their souls as described by them and sometimes eliciting extreme uncomfortableness and even extreme fear…

    http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5656700.html#5656700

    The Wrong Planet website is an excellent resource follow and propose logical arguments and engage in active debate…but in some discussions the spirit that I experience now is stone cold dead..It is the saddest thing I view in life now…as I have experienced the polar opposites of this state of spirit in my one life..so far.. here.. that I remember on this planet..

    Here is the link to the full thread on Wrong Planet on the topic “IS IT OK TO BELIEVE IN GOD”..IT IS BEYOND SAD TO ME THAT ANYONE EVER HAS TO ASK THAT QUESTION. PERIOD.

    http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5656700.html#5656700

    And here is my quoted comment to the question of this thread on the Wrong Planet website..
    Wil be interesting if anyone even dares to respond to my comment..as they know they cannot defeat love…It is beyond reproach..if you will…and silly even to try..for those who truly understand what the sixth type of Agape love IS..the GOD IS LOVE..if you will…

    The biggest problem with religion..in my opinion..some religions that IS.. IS the definition of God.

    In my opinion the definition of God as the Force in the first Star WArs probably gets IT ‘correct’ better than any other definition..

    What I will tell you is this force is real without a doubt..

    I have been completely disconnected from this force…It cannot work without the ‘right brained’ part of life experience.

    The only way I got it back was by exercising this part of my ‘spirit’..as manifested by the brain…

    These are the medically documented disorders i am diagnosed with..qualifying for social security and government retirement on the first try with over 100 pages of documentation…that I accomplished myself with these disabilities..

    Dysautonomia

    Fibromyalgia

    Sygorgren’s Syndrome (my eyes completely stopped making tears about 5 and a half years ago)

    Klippel Feil Syndrome (per T6 fused vertebrae and smaller right shoulder than left shoulder..right hand etc..shorter neck etc.)

    Severe Arthritis in my neck and moderate arthritis throughout the rest of my vertebrae exacerbated by Klippel Feil Syndrome…

    Stenosis of the neural canals in the vertebrae of my neck..

    Total human exhaustion/chronic adrenal fatigue

    Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia..the chronic type..that does not relent for over 60 months solid..where one cannot use their right eye or ear without searing pain…like a dagger in one’s eye..or a dentist drilling one’s teeth without novocain..

    Congenitally blocked sinuses and chronic inflammation of the mucosa associated with working in a second hand smoke filled work environment for close to 2 decades..among the worst of offenders..a Military Bowling Center.

    Moderate Carpal Tunnel Syndrome..

    Severe Anxiety

    Severe depression..Suicidality

    VAsovagal Presyncope..the heart beats too fast and the blood pressure is too low..the brain no longer controls the process efficiently..

    Hypogonadism..Low testosterone

    Alexithymia..a disconnect between language and emotion..in my case more severe..complete loss of emotion…even fear eventually..no ability to remember what a smile felt like or the experience of ever laughing..

    Insomnia where I only slept 1 hour per day for 35 days straight then zero sleep for the lasts 5 days of 40 (264 hours/11days is the documented maximum amount of sleeplessness documented for any human being..i probably broke the record for least amount of sleep in 40 days..if such a record is possible to document.

    Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not otherwise specified..I check every box of Gillberg criteria for Asperger’s and still do..but my language delay until age 4 disqualified me for an Asperger’s diagnosis in the US..I now fall under Autistic Spectrum Disorder..

    My AQ score is 36 when working as Athletic Director of a Military Installation… My Aq score is 44 to 45 after gaining all these illnesses…

    My AQ score is 11 now after completely ‘curing’ my empathy deficits (Alexithymia..etc.) with an intensive exercise of right brain activities for close to 6 months now..including exercises such as commented on 100 poems in an International Poetry club in a span of several hours..strengthening the connections with language and emotion..my psychiatrist identifies that this has worked to ‘cure’ my alexithymia..

    The clinical licensed social worker who has worked with thousands of clients calls my recovery a miracle..At the start of this my psychiatrist..a now retired Military Major in the Airforce..called my case the most difficult one he ever encountered in his career..per what is commonly referred to as complete human exhaustion or a ‘nervous breakdown”…

    I could not use my right eye to read or write or right ear to listen to music at all for almost 2 years…and the inability to listen to music or watch any TV..or use eyes for middle distance activities lasted over 60 months.

    When I first starting posting on this website..the pain was so severe I could hardly type a word for this searing pain in my right eye with the brightness turned down the lowest level on my computer screen…

    The logical arguments on this website are the only thing that kept me from committing suicide..that and the unwillingness of my loved ones to let that happen..that started on November 26th..

    Starting in late FEbruary of 2013..I suddenly became driven by a creative impulse that was nothing like the logic driven arguments that i engaged in…I started to regain faith..hope..and emotions..

    Not only that I started to gain strength and the pain slowly and incremently started going away..

    Not only that I started to get tremendously stronger in the gym workouts I used to escape the pain..even gravity relatively speaking stopped existing as I could then lift 210 Lbs on a Nautilus curl machine and about 70 percent of the machines in the full maximum stack of weights on the machines at the military installation that is a state of the art facility at the base I retired from..world class athlete and military warrior suited with equipment worth close to 1 million dollars that I purchased with end of the year government money when I was actively employed as Athletic Director..in 2007.

    I am living proof that this God force exists..

    It is not this thing that people worship as flesh called Jesus..

    It is what one might call the Christ spirit or whatever that connects all humans together in a ‘supraorganism’ of mind..yeah i made that word up.. but it illustrates well what I am trying to describe that truly does exist when one senses and is able to manipulate this force at will.

    I am still trying to fully and adequately find words to describe what I experience but have found that photos illustrate it better for some people..

    So here is the link that I left here earlier..that photographically illustrates what I am saying here..

    http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt241365.html

    And for those who do not pursue this God force or who are inherently disadvantaged in deficit of brain function..it is only sad is all I can say..as this force does not play by man’s rules..and it seems that some are left out in this present lifetime..

    I suppose the only hope for some is reincarnation..if there is any possibility that this experience exists..

    I cannot prove it but intuitively I think there is some possibility that this experience exists..

    Beyond all of this..hope and faith..are what moves the human experience forward..

    It is not improvement to lose this ability through either fear of the dark or cynicism of the light..

    Actually modern science and quantum theory is leading us toward the human ability to manipulate..light..if you will..

    Scientists have the same zeal for this force of ‘whatever’ that I do ..they just don’t experience the ‘superhuman feats’ that I accomplish if you will..in real life..that is documented..like my ability at age 53 to out lift every 23 year old Marine on my military base…

    And while you might suggest that this is no big deal..read the illnesses above again if you will..It is a physical impossibility without this God force I have tapped into…

    Chi or whatever you want to call it…Science cannot explain IT.

    At least not yet..someday science may catch up..as I am living proof it exists…

    I had no idea this force exists until I encountered it at age 21 for a short period of time..and now live in a state of total bliss..with no personal judgement or hatred against any human being..no fear..and love for everything in this life down to a grain of sand..the light type of love..the 6th love if you will..over the 5 other documented physical types of love..some people call it AGAPE…

    For me IT is simply bliss..Yes God is this love for me..all powerful defying every law of science.

    AS is understood at this point in time..

    And again call it BS if you want to..but it is all medically documented and witnessed by scores of people in my local area…

    Beyond this IT is important to believe in something in this life that drives one forward to see no limitation or expectation even if you believe in the Lord of the Rings..What you call IT is not important..Only that IT exists..and makes life better..that’s all that counts in the long run..

    Music is a powerful tool to enhance this God energy..as the Universe is mirrored as mathematics and music..as expressed through human music..math..and language..down to the the reflection of every number and every letter of infinity of now.

    So i leave you with this song..and don’t forget the ‘punch’ line if you will..

    It’s up to you to use this energy..IT is not free..and takes a lifelong pursuit of faith..hope..and determination to gain it and never lose IT.

    There is no magical formula of believing in a dead man hanging on a cross..and worshiping that dead flesh.

    The historical accounts of the actual man Jesus..are related by people who did not even talk to him..passed down through the gossip of verbal folklore..like mythology..that yes..does have metaphorical truths for those who are not cynical of the light..and for those who do not fear the dark…and for those who can exclude hate and personal judgement from their life..and Yes it is like moving through the eye of the needle..perhaps not camel in size of challenger..but never the less.. a real and lifelong.. perhaps multi-lifelong challenge..

    My friends.

    To be clear this is all my belief..believe as you will..call me a fool..call me crazy..

    As I stated before I live in bliss..there is no where to go from here..but to at least try to allow someone else to experience IT..extremely hard to share this experience in words..but I continue to try..as tenacity of my ‘Tiger spirit’ is what brought me here to the NOW of this moment…

    Anyway.

  9. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5656700.html#5656700

    Another comment from the same thread in response to an interesting comment:

    xxxx xxxx wrote:

    I will reply on this thread after the weekend. I’m off to utilise science in
    the form of gliding. if the scientific method is ineffective there is the distinct possibility that i wont be posting here again. who knows, maybe thermal currents and gravity don’t exist, let alone mathematics and then who knows what will happen. Best I pray to dog for guidance.

    Aghogday (my user name on wrong planet) wrote:

    While I indicate I have a Tiger spirit…Per the American Indian ‘animal spiritual’ traditions..my actual animal spirit reflects that more of a wolf in nature…

    Worshipping dog is not such a bad idea…really..they are very emotional beings and likely have as much connection or even much more to ‘God LIGHT Love’ than most humans as they love unconditionally..at least are capable of IT..and usually show no serious ill WILL against those who transgress against them…

    The Dog’s prayer could easily reflect the Lord’s prayer with just a few changes of pronouns.. if you will…

    Anyway.. here is a little ‘funny’ video for you that expresses what I am saying in much greater visual..lyrical..and musical intent if you will..the comedic aspect is used as a tool for IT to sink in your subconscious mind..

    Yes there are other ‘enlightened’ individuals like me in this world..the ‘buddhas exist’..in key locations in much higher positions than ‘eye’ who are currently controlling the highest of popular mass communication outlets..to get similar messages across in complex ways..symbolic in nature often…reflecting the archetype of the Universal human/’God’ mind if you will..

    People scoff at artistic efforts like what Miley Cyrus and her black friends recently did in 23 ..but it is an intricate calculated effort to sink information in the subconscious mind of the already TV hypnotized American public.. for some hope to further enlighten them in the future for the New World order of Love and cooperation among the human species on a global basis..so everyone can get a little bigger piece of the pie..if you will..

    Sex sells..drugs sell..instant gratification sells..but the symbolic natures of the messages are vicariously transmitted and ‘cemented’ as a long term memory for a greater purpose in the future..

    So here’s the video..and again.. go ahead and pray to DOG..as DOG spelled backwards as GOD is only further evidence of GOD and DOG..and evilivedevilived.. if you will..or can ‘get’ the ‘drift’..the waves the full ocean seyes1!

    There is much more to learn in this life than causally meets the ‘eye’ of logic..

    There is a whole other ‘hemisphere’ of experience to ‘live love light true will’!

    Aleister Crowley got that part ‘correct’ ..he is probably one of the most influential men of the 20th century who continues to influence in the 21st century from over 60 years ago.. as people either dismissed him as evil..the devil..crazy..insane..a fool..or even an idiot..

    The truth always stands the test of time..as it is a Universal law..not one that any ‘silly’ human can ever manipulate to change in essence…

    Forgetting the ‘truths’ is always an option that works for ‘human hell’.!

    Mass communication and some of the ‘wise’ people who control IT.. IS changing this as we speak..whether people are consciously aware of IT or NoT! It does not matter! The truth always speaks ‘volumes’ of wind of spirit stronger than any hurricane imaginable!

  10. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5656700.html#5656700

    Here is a listing of 56 videos that express much of this truth:

    For those who dare to explore or who are open to greater truths..than what one learns in ordinary ‘sckool’:!

  11. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5656700.html#5656700

    xxx xxxx wrote:

    The placebo effect doesn’t “completely contradict cause and effect”. It can reliably be replicated. We know how to make a placebo better. We can test the effects of placebos.

    Aghogday wrote:

    Actually the placebo effect cannot be reliably replicated as science indicates that up to one third of the general population are oblivious to the effect of the placebo effect..some of these same people are also oblivious to the effect of hypnotism..and have great difficulty with faith and hope in general..and yes some of these people are most definitely on the autism spectrum..some of who are inhabiting this thread as we speak..most likely…

    It is a deficit not a gift my friend..

    But there is hope as neuroplasticity can change even this.
    _________________
    KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

    Gravatar is one of the coolest things ever!!!

    http://en.gravatar.com/katiemiafrederick

  12. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5656700.html#5656700

    aghogday wrote:
    Here is a listing of 56 videos that express much of this truth:

    For those who dare to explore or who are open to greater truths..than what one learns in ordinary ‘sckool’:!

    (video linked two comments above)

    xxx xxxx wrote:

    wow.
    Back to top

    aghogday
    KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

    Joined: Nov 26, 2010
    Age: 53
    Posts: 5168

    Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:48 pm Post subject:
    Thanks..I don’t necessarily agree with everything this individual says but much of what he says rings true for me as to what I have experienced in life that has just basically brought me higher levels of happiness and better ability to get along with others…

    For some reason the list plays on my blog but all 56 videos don’t seem to show up on the Wrong Planet interface.

    EASy still to find when one goes to this gentleman’s youtube website..

    The two guys that have developed this all encompassing special interest over myth, music, and the cosmos..seem like they could even be just another couple of guys participating on this website…that have developed this laser interest in the science of music, myth and cosmos..that goes beyond the ‘common eye’, if you will…

    I’m glad I came across it..it cemented a great deal of my speculation for me that i developed in my own journey..if you will..
    _________________
    KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

    Gravatar is one of the coolest things ever!!!

    http://en.gravatar.com/katiemiafrederick
    Back to top

    xxx xxx3
    Pileated woodpecker

    Joined: Sep 23, 2013
    Posts: 196

    Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:02 pm Post subject:
    xxx xxxxx2 wrote:
    The placebo effect doesn’t “completely contradict cause and effect”. It can reliably be replicated. We know how to make a placebo better. We can test the effects of placebos.

    xxx xxx3 wrote:

    The three ‘facts’ that you have used there (which could be questioned when you use weasel words like ‘reliable’, you might admit, as true reliability equates to 100%) – how does this exactly establish your point about the placebo effect? I don’t see the direct link there. Just because we tinker with something without fully understanding it, and then can record changes, doesn’t mean that there is an established cause and effect.

    If what you were saying was true, all medicines would be placebos by now. They are not. Thus, placebos demonstrate another ‘hit and hope’ area that science cannot fully explain – but that doesn’t stop it being used, which is fair enough.

    Surely by its own concept, the placebo effect contradicts cause and effect. Maybe I’m missing something here.

    Anyway, this is by the by. I think I’ve had more than my fair share of input on this thread, and I really don’t want to sound like I’m trying to peddle something, so I’ll finish up, and I’ll try and make it concise.

    In my opinion, and not only my opinion, there’s very little that is really important, including who believes what – and if you are one of the possible few (well, I don’t know!) who know there’s a ‘God’, you know, you don’t require faith or primitive explanations – and this knowing really can’t put into words. Just like you trying to tell me exactly what it would be like to be you. It has to be completely experienced, without terrifying the crap out of you (hehe) and that cannot be done through rationalisation, or reading certain books. You just know. Now, that’s not a cop out, or a way of stifling debate, but how can that be explained through science, which is wedded to the unreliable senses? Because that’s all we have to go on?

    Don’t take my word for it. If you really want ‘proof’, look inside, rather than outside. Maybe you’ll be surprised what you will find, after you’ve (probably) passed through a fair bit of hurt and pain, and even beyond that. It could be in the last place you’d look

    If you don’t ‘know’, all you have is religion, fairy tales and science – and unreliable senses.
    Back to top

    aghogday
    KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

    Joined: Nov 26, 2010
    Age: 53
    Posts: 5168

    Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:16 pm Post subject:
    And here is another excellent video coming from Thelema the philosophy that Aleister Crowley developed.

    I leave no stones unturned in ‘my person’ journey of enlightenment now that my physical health is healed..

    My blogs are my own personal formula for happiness with the multimedia explosion of visualizing nirvana..that so far has come true..I suppose almost an advanced form of cognitive behavioral therapy…but one gaining greater light than normal emotional responses..eventually…

    But still 25K have viewed it since March 10th of this year..so someone is listening even if not too many people are ‘brave’ enough to leave comments as they either don’t understand me or think I am a little off..haha!

    Anyway when all is said and done..it is the love that counts I think…what I equate with this thing called God that I much rather just call God Light as metaphor away from all of the ‘God Awful’ prejudices that have developed in centuries associated with this thing people describe as almost hate…instead of GOD Love..LIGHT!

    I did a post on the major factor behind rampage killing that attracted 48K views..here on this website…

    So this God Love Light True Will stuff is not nearly as interesting to people than just one topic on rampage killing..as this is where the focus of society is AT…still most unfortunately but reality that i cannot change and can only hope to influence at the extent of the butterfly effect..if you will…somewhere in the NOWON!!
    _________________
    KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

    Gravatar is one of the coolest things ever!!!

    http://en.gravatar.com/katiemiafrederick

  13. First of all…

    The following is just metaphor and not to be taken literally…

    Full disclosure for the potential literally thinking audience..in the background..if you will…

    ‘God’ made me so beautiful..he tempted me to love my self forever and love no others…

    I..we..US

    After i learned this lesson..

    I created A garden of eden in my yard where I could be ever complacent just staring at it’s beauty…

    I still did not learn my lesson…

    After this ‘heShe’ took my sight away…

    OK i learned my lesson forever now…..

    I will take pictures but i will not linger too long in complacency…

    The pictures of my garden of Eden are in my FlicKr feed..do not linger too long if you will…

    But please enjoy the greater beauty that is even in a grain of sand and even Adolph HItler…

    Challenge !HUhEH?

    That IS my lesson to go to that level in spirit and gain the empathy of 14.5 billion years…

    I am still here…

    i am a survivor…

    ‘God’s’ only Will to survive NOW’ IS IT as far as i KnowKnowK

    KKK…

    IT’s not what you think…

    Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.. if you will…

    The other lesson..no hate..no personal judgement..all that exists after that is LOVELIGHTLOVE…

    If one truly exists…

    Of course..that is only my opinion..is all I ‘knownow’

    True Will is only for one…

    I know nothing else but LOVE

    ALL else is all sp e c u la t ion…

    That word is never one.

    ONE IS LOVE

    LOVE IS ONE

    ONE IS ONE

    oneONEnowKwon

    Ancient American Indian Word for One Spirit…

    NOWone…

    Designed by me…

    Simply me as one@ONE1…

    And for4 you to hear…2too..

    HERE

    NOW

    WON

    ONE

    NOWON

    ONE

    NOW

    WON

    HERE

    9282013

    25

    7

    What can I say…

    IT IS my lucky day….

  14. Pingback: 6000 Miles of DANCE WALKING! NOW! | KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

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