I’ve seen the face of
Truly my effort and life’s mission
is to systemize
a way to
help folks to
understand what GOD IS
BUT THE METAPHORS ALWAYS COME BACK
IT IS ONLY POTENTIAL SPARKS i can give..
the same as the gift of sparks
that so many
throughout the course of an extremely challenging
yet most rewarding life
i for one..
And what a gift that is..
as i know now no greater gift
than to rise from the darkest life..
imaginable to me..
to a brighter
than i can possibly
in a way of being where
one second is a literal human hell
of a thousand years..
of death in life…
i for one believe that with every greatest gift..
comes every greatest challenge
to accompany that gift..
STANDARD IQ IN WAYS OF ACADEMIC
MY GIFT IN YOUTH..
never to study..
but always be
HOWEVER MY OTHER INTELLIGENCES
OF PHYSICAL.. EMOTIONAL
AS STUNTED IN YOUTH..
AND EVEN INTO MIDDLE
AS THE BRIGHTEST LIGHTS OF
SO-CALLED STANDARD INTELLECT
THAT IS THE GIFT
historical noted Author
I HAVE an extremely analytical mind..
that is also abstract in
that most other folks
But the complexity of my mind..
per the history of it without a manual..
PUZZLE FOR ME
TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO MASTER
as director of I
with connecting spirit..!
in sensory and emotional
EXTREME AS WELL…
And truly my wife has no idea what she is signing up for
in the long term
The job of JOB
what she signs up for..
in what will eventually
be as witness to a terrifying
AND OF COURSE
FOR THE BOTH OF US…
The story of John Nash in ‘A Beautiful Mind’ of
a mind out of control
is similar to the mind
However my logic remains intact
as i watch my exquisite emotional
and sensory experience
A LONELY GHOST..
WALKING THE EARTH NOT REALIZING HE IS DEAD..
IS how my wife’s brother describes the music that is hauntingly
coming out of my fingers
BEFORE THE DEATH OF ME IN LIFE
WAY MARCH 1ST 2008..
TO GO ON UNTIL MARCH 1ST 2013..
AT THE END OF 60 MONTHS OF DEAD HEART SOUL..
with recovery coming back slowly
BY THE END
i have covered the details of my illness that yes..
is both mental and physical in ways of
per Sjogren’s Sydrome..
the worst pain documented in medical literature..
type two Trigeminal Neuralgia..
and fibromyalgia per the most challenging ones..
But my stint without sleep
except for 1 hour each night with an alpha blocker
for 35 days.. and zero sleep the last 5 of 40 days..
PLACE SO FAR BEYOND PAIN AND DEPRESSION..
PLACE OF PAPER THIN GHOST
WHERE TRULY A THOUSAND YEARS OF HELL IS EVERY SECOND
INCREASING IN A BLACK
AFTER THAT for five long years..
i can barely lift my arms over my head without passing out..
The pain is severe all over my body..
with no effective use of my eyes or ears to see beauty
or hear music…
as the pain is like someone drilling my eye and ear..
with a dentist drill and no
And then there is Severe Degenerative Arthritis
in my spine..
Spinal Stenosis… a congenitally fused
T6 vertebrae unknown to me..
until an MRI then..
THE NECK.. THAT NEVER CEASES TOO..
BUT YA SEE ALL THAT IS GONE NOW..
AND EVEN THE RECIPROCAL SOCIAL COMMUNICATION
DIFFICULTIES ASSOCIATED WITH AN ASPERGER’S DIAGNOSIS..
THAT WAS NOT SCHIZOPHRENIA..
BUT STILL CHALLENGING
NEVER THE LESS..
knew i am different and am so relieved as my mind worked so much
different than others… i truly am afraid when i see the movie
‘A Beautiful Mind’ that one day..
haunt the halls of my workplace
lost heart and soul
of a has been man..
And yes.. it does come true..
i retain my privileges to work out at the gym..
that i once administrate along with many other facilities
as Athletic Director at my military station..
the last kid picked on the sports teams at schools..
ends up with a mission in life..
to understand and more fully effect
PHYSICAL INTELLIGENCE IN PAVING THE WAY
TO EMOTIONAL REGULATION..
COGNITIVE EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING
THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE
BUT YAH ‘SEE’..
there is this higher power of GOD
that is GUIDING ME MY WHOLE
LIFE TO BOTH HELP
OTHERS WHO i come across NOW…
And this synchronistic ‘voice’
that leads me in
The Interdependent Relationship of
ALL THAT IS
Mother Nature True
But anyway.. as certainly John Nash’s wife saves his life
for the challenges that are to come in both their lives..
That story is almost
identical to the life of
AND HER CHALLENGE CONTINUES
THE WIND BEHIND THE WINGS
FROM DEATH IN LIFE…
Sometimes i ask myself why am i so blessed
to have so many signs from GOD that GOD
AND i reply.. i cry.. i cry..
IN ALL WAYS GOD GIVES
THE STORY THAT IS NOW