One of my failings now..
OFTEN FEEL INVINCIBLE
CONCENTRATE ON CAUTION
BE MY AUTOMATIC WAY OF LIFE..
i dance walked over 21 miles all around metro area stores..
AND TRULY i was FEELING LIKE
BUTTERFLY IN FLIGHT
EVEN IN THE BOOKSTORE
ON EVIL SWITCHING THE BOOK FROM HAND TO HAND
DANCE WHILE i listened to a highly motivating Alan Parson’s song…
And this book on evil brought back the memories of torture that the
United States inflicted on prisoners
and reading about it spired
a feeling of wrath against all humanity
DEAD HEARTED SOUL..
LEADING OTHERS TO THE SAME PATH
OF REAL HUMAN EVIL
AND THIS POWER OF FORCE INSIDE ME
SEEMED SO STRONG..
i felt like i could become a Hurricane
blow those people
So GOD sends me two messengers of peace with mustaches..
yes.. two girls having fun with me dancing..
copying my bushy mustache with
the bookstore somewhere
Well the wrathful feeling was replaced with
LAUGHTER AND LOVE..
THE FEELING OF WRATH IS ONLY COUNTERPRODUCTIVE..
IN CAUSING THE SAME
THE BOOK AS A VICIOUS CYCLE
THAT CAN RESULT IN TRIBAL WAYS
TO OTHER INNOCENT HUMAN BEINGS..
IN WINDS OF WRATHFUL
SO as i am finishing
my dancing walking
in Kohl’s department store..
all this documented in the previous blog post
A COLD OR A FLU HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS
AND SUDDENLY i could hardly walk
or think clearly
ALL i wanted to do is find a bed to lay my head..
So yes.. another message from GOD that truly i am still as fragile
as any other human being..
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED
AND MY WILL POWER THAT IS THAT OF JOB NOW..
AFTER RECOVERING FROM 19 DOCUMENTED HORRIFYING MEDICAL ILLNESSES..
PER DARKEST OF TYPE TWO TRIGEMINAL
AS MY GREATEST FEAR CAME TRUE..
I COULD NO LONGER FEEL..
USE MY EYES OR EARS EFFECTIVELY
TO ENJOY LIFE..
EVEN WALK OR
RAISE MY ARMS AFTER EATING
AND PART OF SJOGREN’S SYNDROME
THROUGH INCREDIBLE FOOT PAIN
AND TOTALLY DRY EYES
LIKE SWIMMING IN SALT WATER
WITH ONE’S EYES OPEN..
i could not even take one look of life
one sound of life..
one step of life.
without incredible human pain and suffering
as almost a complete shut-in for over 5 years..
of literal human hell…
But truly that was GOD’s greatest gift to me..
as i finally escaped all the illusions of culture..
and looked within.. outside..
and so below
SO YES.. LIFE CAN BE FRAGILE
BUT THE BLESSINGS OF LIFE..
GREATER THAN ANY NECESSARY DARK ILL
i skipped only my 2nd work-out due to illness
in over a year..
to Celebrate the DARK of ILL
at word five-hundred-fifty-five…