Finding LIGHT IN the darkness of ill

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One of my failings now..

is

i

OFTEN FEEL INVINCIBLE

AND

HAVE

TO

CONCENTRATE ON CAUTION

IN

A

LOGICAL

WAY..

AS

ANXIETY

USED

TO

BE MY AUTOMATIC WAY OF LIFE..

THAT

IS

NO

MORE…

THANK GOD

FOR

THAT!

YESTERDAY..

i dance walked over 21 miles all around metro area stores..

while

my

wife

SHOPPED..

AND TRULY i was FEELING LIKE

A

BUTTERFLY IN FLIGHT

ON

TERRESTRIAL PLANE

EVEN IN THE BOOKSTORE

READING

A

BOOK

ON EVIL SWITCHING THE BOOK FROM HAND TO HAND

IN

DANCE WHILE i listened to a highly motivating Alan Parson’s song…

And this book on evil brought back the memories of torture that the

United States inflicted on prisoners

in

Iraq

and reading about it spired

a feeling of wrath against all humanity

that IS

DEAD HEARTED SOUL..

LEADING OTHERS TO THE SAME PATH

OF REAL HUMAN EVIL

AND

HUMAN HELL..

AND THIS POWER OF FORCE INSIDE ME

SEEMED SO STRONG..

i felt like i could become a Hurricane

and

blow those people

away..

in

GOD’s

force

of

WRATH…

So GOD sends me two messengers of peace with mustaches..

yes.. two girls having fun with me dancing..

copying my bushy mustache with

fake mustaches

available

in

the bookstore somewhere

i guess…

Well the wrathful feeling was replaced with

LAUGHTER AND LOVE..

AS

THE FEELING OF WRATH IS ONLY COUNTERPRODUCTIVE..

IN CAUSING THE SAME

HARM

DESCRIBED

IN

THE BOOK AS A VICIOUS CYCLE

OF

RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION

THAT CAN RESULT IN TRIBAL WAYS

OF

HARM

TO OTHER INNOCENT HUMAN BEINGS..

IN WINDS OF WRATHFUL

TRIBAL

STORMS!

SO as i am finishing

my dancing walking

in Kohl’s department store..

yes..

all this documented in the previous blog post

in

photographic

REAL LIFE

ILLUSTRATION!

A COLD OR A FLU HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS

AND SUDDENLY i could hardly walk

or think clearly

and

ALL i wanted to do is find a bed to lay my head..

in

weakness….

So yes.. another message from GOD that truly i am still as fragile

as any other human being..

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED

IN

POTENTIAL SICKNESS…

AND MY WILL POWER THAT IS THAT OF JOB NOW..

AFTER RECOVERING FROM 19 DOCUMENTED HORRIFYING MEDICAL ILLNESSES..

PER DARKEST OF TYPE TWO TRIGEMINAL

NEURALGIA..

SJOGREN’S SYNDROME..

AND

DYSAUTONOMIA

AS MY GREATEST FEAR CAME TRUE..

I COULD NO LONGER FEEL..

USE MY EYES OR EARS EFFECTIVELY

TO ENJOY LIFE..

OR

EVEN WALK OR

RAISE MY ARMS AFTER EATING

WITHOUT ALMOST

PASSING OUT..

AND PART OF SJOGREN’S SYNDROME

THROUGH INCREDIBLE FOOT PAIN

AND TOTALLY DRY EYES

LIKE SWIMMING IN SALT WATER

WITH ONE’S EYES OPEN..

MADE IT

WHERE

i could not even take one look of life

one sound of life..

or

one step of life.

without incredible human pain and suffering

as almost a complete shut-in for over 5 years..

of literal human hell…

But truly that was GOD’s greatest gift to me..

as i finally escaped all the illusions of culture..

and looked within.. outside..

above..

and so below

for

Truth

AND

TRULY

i

WOKE

UP

LIKE

THIS!

SO YES.. LIFE CAN BE FRAGILE

BUT THE BLESSINGS OF LIFE..

ARE

GREATER THAN ANY NECESSARY DARK ILL

i

knowNOW

for

sure!

i skipped only my 2nd work-out due to illness

in over a year..

and

decide

to Celebrate the DARK of ILL

leading

to

Light

wRite

here

now!

at word five-hundred-fifty-five…

http://myfreelancestripperblog.blogspot.com/2014/11/legend-stripping.html

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17

8

852

15

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About katiemiafrederick

I like to write.
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2 Responses to Finding LIGHT IN the darkness of ill

  1. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf270708-0-30.html

    ^^^

    Of course all of this is just my opinion, and relative to both my personal life experiences as well as direct interaction with 10’s of thousands of humans in my decades long career working with the general public.

    All it really takes is a walk through Wal-Mart with emotional eyes wide open, to see the level of suffering that exists even in the US among the ‘common’ human.

    One key is human happiness per science is number one associated with social relationships that are successful with other folks in flesh and blood interaction in real life.

    This takes both emotional and physical intelligence, and a computer does little to nothing to improve those instinctual and intuitive human skills.

    The 20 most peaceful societies in the world as measured by science are more reflective of the primitive societies that do still exist in the world as humans are innately evolved to share and cooperate for both love and subsistence, more like the Bonobo who is evolved the same for around 150 to 200 sets of eyes like human beings.

    Truly it’s not the fault of human beings that they are functionally disabled in the most important aspects of any animal intelligence per emotional and physical intelligence, it is complex culture and language that is the virus, not humans per innate propensity.

    Higher functioning Autism truly is representative of this overall trend in animal culture for animals that are not even able to successfully reciprocally socially communicate with other animals.

    And put a Bonobo behind a computer instead of with an all loving ‘tribe’ of other Bonobos with comforting and touching love from the ‘village’ and Bonobo symptoms similar of Higher functioning Autism do most definitely occur per Scientific study as a result of a non-nurturing environment particularly in the first two years of life, whether it is a Bonobo or a human.

    It’s no wonder that science now shows that the causal factors of Autism may actually be greater per nurture than nature.

    Although innately I had a language delay until age 4, now that I have become a relative social butterfly at age 54, IN REAL LIFE, AS EVIDENCED ON MY BLOGS, I am totally convinced that my previous diagnosis of Autism was more a result of a culture gone insane per environment than any natural propensity of mine not to able to successfully socially reciprocate communication in real life.

    Working behind computers instead of working with real life flesh and blood people, was the path to horrible symptoms of Autism that I never experienced before in life, after age 4, per inability to even have motivation to speak to others in real flesh and blood life.

    And now children are indoctrinated to a mechanical cognition way of life, from a very young age.

    There is no doubt in my mind at least, that the cultural phenomenon of autism will keep skyrocketing up, until folks gain a little bit of common sense per nature instead of nurture.

    But of course, some folks today don’t even have a reference point for nature.

    The primitive societies out there that still exist, most definitely do per the real advanced emotional and physical intelligences that humans innately can do, if properly challenged in the environment they live in.

    And yes, when I was functionally disabled by modern cultural ways of mechanical cognition per reference point I scored a 195 on the Aspie Quiz and I score a 92 now.

    I scored 44 to 45 on the AQ screening test for Autism, and I score an 11 now.

    I scored in the mid 50’s on the emotional intelligence test, and now score a 95.

    And my personality changed from INTJ to ENFP.

    So yes, per my personal experience I have objective evidence that this higher functioning autism thingy is relative to the environment one lives in, for sure, but no I cannot speak for anyone else, per his or her innate and or nurture of environment.

    But let’s just put it this way, I wouldn’t go back ‘there’ for all the money in the world, and on top of that I do not need money nor does any other human that lives by innate human rules, per instinct, intuition, sharing and cooperation IN a culture that LIVES THAT WAY.

    I am extremely fortunate to be financially independent in real life, as the rules of culture no longer apply to me, per control and fear, so I simply live free now, as innately and intuitively I am evolved for, as such, and in relative comparison it is simply amazing fun.

    As yes, overall, animals are evolved instinctually and intuitively to play, not live in despair. There was a time when I had no idea what it meant to truly be creative and play in instinctual and intuitive ways without any cultural and technological crutches.

    Now that I practice play almost continuously everyday, except for periods of time like this, when I am sick and spend time online while I’m getting over being sick, my life is bliss, simply bliss, like my cat’s life, as well.

    Play for me, at least, is never something that has anything to do with operating a computer. In fact for me, computers are counterproductive for instinctual and intuitive play but a challenge of dark, I do entertain from time to time, as challenge is as ‘good’ as play, all things considered for OVERALL ‘GOOD’.
    _________________
    KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

    Gravatar is one of the coolest things ever!!!

    http://en.gravatar.com/katiemiafrederick

  2. Pingback: Fried Forgiving Turkeys | KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

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