THURSDAY, JUNE 06, 2013
Visiting the Garden of ‘Band Aid’
74 Days in total..
93 Days in total..
32 Years in total..
Finding, Expressing, Exposing
and Digitally Recording
Prologue in Poetry
“Twilight” by E.L.O.
People do not often reach outto one in communicationon the Internetin a “Personal Way”,
Some things people sayto oneare unkind,but one chooses
…to collectand grow
one loses thoughts
and wants to keep those
memories of encouraging wordshere
in a permanent record
in times of low.
in thanks to those
who might be listening
that ‘like’ one too,
finding a wayto reach outto
It is a chronological listof anonymous
and real Names
listed by Letter
to keep personal identity
At this point,
one may have forgotten ones,
but one will update
but cannot put into words.”
that I have come
“You are a valued contributor
to this community,
will you assist
“You must hear this
all the time,
but your use
of the language
who are you?
some good things
One was the “Devil’s Advocate” on some of this person’s analysis. However, this person still recognized one’s effort and another individual one greatly respects, at the end of the close to 60 pages Hypothesis.
It was close to a year in effort, creating “Autism: The Eusocial Hominid Hypothesis”.
The style of the Hypothesis is unique in “Hyperlexic” fashion of collecting information from unlimited sources, creating a tapestry that one must spend time to find, but worth it when one arrives.
One is providing information on personal life history in the comment above about Anthropology as a college degree and additional health related issues below in the comment about Music.
The Hyperlexic pattern of Input and Matrices style ability to answer multiple-choice and short answered questions is ideal for school, because when one attended there is little need for output in writing or verbal skills at undergraduate level.
However, it is close to useless in the ‘real’ working world as a base of knowledge withlittle ability for coherent communication in speech or writing. There is little ability in fine motor skills to write the written word, and little opportunity to find an accommodation in device computers bring to “Hyperlexic” versions of Autism.
There is no opportunity for academic pursuit again, until home computers come along.
One eventually is ‘pushed’ into higher positions in government employment as Community Activities Director and Athletic Director, because of one’s computer skills. There was great demand for that ‘niche’ skill, but it is now shared by the masses.
The last place the last child picked on sports teams in Physical Education at school ends up is Athletic Director at a Military Installation. This path of push, also led to a spot in a leadership class for the county, in a ‘Forrest Gump’ like scenario.
The Push and Shove eventually leads to a constant state of Adrenal gland reactivity, and ultimately human exhaustion, per Autistic Burnout. There is no doubt in one’s mind that most of the health issues are because of this extended state of hyper-vigilance.
One meet one’s spouse at work, in the emotional contagion shared with happy masses. As a Hyperlexic type Autistic person one shares communication through one’s eyes, absorbing the emotional contagion of people and amplifying it through eyes. It is a life of vision and other senses, including hyper-tactile sensitivity, with input and analysis of picture, pattern and symbol.
It can be a gift of input but challenge in output without a visual interface to view the after effect of one’s mind. One connects with that other “continent” of mind in output two times in school. One time was in a Christmas essay in middle school and once in a Philosophy class in College. It was like a stranger of words one did not consciously understand as existing in one’s mind.
The computer provides that connection now, along with neuroplastic adaptation to health problems discussed below in the Piano comment. Those health issues, in part, impairedone’s lifelong tool of navigating the world in pattern, picture, symbols and human contact through penetration of eye-to-eye vision.
While one’s verbal and nonverbal communication for output and input of speech and complex facial expression is muted, the Universe exists in eyes of one and others. The after effect of words staring one back in face on a screen has ‘literally’ taken the place ofa world of complex visual interface and human connection.
The written word or spoken word is not a comfortable place to visit in earlier life, in effectbecause soul is in one’s eyes connecting to a much larger world in the eye of soul in others.
Home videos are not common when one is younger, but one’s own penetrating stare disconcerted one when one first saw one’s ‘self’ speaking to someone behind a Camera.One use to wonder why some people seemed nervous when one penetrates the soul.One finally understands when one sees eyes looking back at one penetrating another soul.
Not until recently has one understood that it is ‘socially inappropriate’ not to avert ‘stare’.
On the other hand, one had difficulty making eye contact when speaking, because there is the natural inclination to enter into the soul of another, and away from potential of coherent speech in word.
One often had to write down small scripts of words to communicate in speech when there was the potential of talking to more than one set of eyes. It is a much different type of Autism than what some others experience.
It was hard for people to look one in the eyes, as they felt like one could see into their soul. Some literally stated this. Perhaps that is a gift of Hyperlexia of enhanced input and compromised output.
One enjoyed the life of input more than life of output. One has a tool in computer technology in communicating thought one accumulates through the course of life, that in effect is one’s eyes now for connecting to people, in limited ability compared to three dimensional flesh and blood eye contact to a person’s soul.
One rarely verbally spoke in real life, so there was time to stare into the soul of eye in other people.
“I like reading it”.
This is a response
to one’s first Blog Post.
That post is bornin face book private messagefrom the person
one’s Blog,in effect of word.
That Blog Post
is in passing messageinspired by one word,
that is like
a magic keyopening a Boxto creativity.
what I feelbut cannotput into words.”
“I sense somehowyou willunderstand”
“Thank you for publicly writing this as I can add it
to the other information
I have discovered inside
I thank you,
because for me
there is nothing as satisfyingin the experienceof happiness,as I personallyexperience it,
than flow of
but they are listening.”
of the most beautiful
Commenting on the piano music one created
called “Challenging Alexithymia”,
One had to look up “enchanting” on Google, and was pleased that someone viewed it that way. One’s spouse describes it as a tortured soul, and brother-in law describes it as a lonely ghost wandering the earth not knowing one is dead.
That is not far from truth of personal reality when viewed that way at the height of Health problems. Aghogday is not a happy acronym as it represents “Another Ground Hog Day”, which is like a living death, of similarity in ‘painful’ obstacles each day.
One describes it as such in another blog post, “’The Divine Comedy’, Autism and Alexithymia”, per personal history. One has several serious immune system issues, including one where one’s eyes stop making tears, which is similar to swimming in salt water with one’s eyes open.
In addition, there is challenge of Fibromyalgia and Dysautonomia/Vasovagal Pre-Syncope where the brain no longer efficiently coordinates blood pressure and heart rate. Add in a sprinkle of depression and a Dash of anxiety and the Autism SpectrumDiagnosis is the least of one’s concern.
The difficulty that was most severe is a rare type of chronic nerve pain affecting one’s right eye. It is beyond anything one can describe. There is no pain medication that can ‘touch it’. The only solution is to kill the nerve in one’s face. It is not an option one is willing to take. The thought of having a numb face is more unsettling than challenge of pain toone.
Although the light from the computer screen increases physical pain, the focus on writing is the only thing that could put one’s mind in a place to escape the pain. Gradually the pain lessened, but one’s eyes still do not work the way they should, and there appears to be no solution for that.
One is fortunate to continue with near vision. One’s world literally exists in computer screens four inches to 23 inches in diameter. One cannot watch TV from a distance. It is still too painful to wear corrective lenses at middle distance because of the facial pain that remains. It is the nerve responsible for focusing one’ eye.
One can still drive and see in the farther distance with prescription sunglasses, but onehas to wear them at night because one’s eyes are too sensitive to wear anything but prescription sunglasses at any distance, day or night, where there is any light.
One wore one’s hands out with Carpal Tunnel syndrome, playing the piano trying to escape pain and Alexithymia. That adversity led to the music linked in the blog post“Challenging Alexithymia with Music”.
It is one of the few things one is able to create in life one could call one’s own. Fortunately, one can accommodate a Computer Keyboard better than a piano at this point, per Carpal Tunnel syndrome.
One’s Hyperlexic flavor of Autism is like an advanced form of echolalia parrot, when young, as far as output in verbal communication and creativity. The input and analysis of patterns and symbols had no depth of limit.
To put in metaphor one could sing with the choir, in perfect sync, but is lost in solo of song or word.
One could not sing facing and interpreting the souls in the windows of hundreds of eyes at the same time.
One digresses, however if one opens the soul of others in words communicating with one, one cannot reasonably keep one’s soul closed.
“There are so many thingsI find interesting
but for now
I will addressthis.”
“Would you likea webpageto displayyour poetry?”
in the “subject” of one’s
who wrote “Thank you
for being a Friend”
to the “viewing audience”
“It is sort of
an Oasis,a Refuge.
“I think it is cool and refreshing;
we need people to say positive things about us”
“I really enjoyed this post
of word fun”.
“I am exploring your posts
and am findingamazing ideas.”Another M again:
*“This is really amazing and positive.I keep visiting it and putting off saying something
since there is always more added to it.It changes every time I look at it.It is more organic than anything I’ve seen of its like.I appreciate that you are explaining an existence
without using explanatory words.You’re not describing what it’s like,
you’re sharing what it is;skipping the simile
and offering an experience
without translation.That is so very, very needed.You are wonderful.”Another K:“Angles“Another I:”I am Glad you feel welcome here.
It makes me happy.”Another R and ‘Voice of Reason‘:
it is just
If that ‘guy’
it is likely someone
like you or me, before
or if they finally found
a way to understand
about the internet
is if one remembers
the nice things people say
one usually finds them
in recorded text.
These are not exact quotes,
but one feels confident
that most of them are close
because of the way
they touchthe emotional partof one’ssoul.
In real life,
one could touchpeople’s soul with eyes,but not easilywith otherbody languageor communication.
one’s vision impairment
makes that small
but extremepointof focusof contactin soul
Not only is this
a Garden of “Eden”,
it is just a smallonline part of ‘real’life
who come forward
for another moment.
They no longerlikely knowone’s name,if they knew it then,
and one no longer
one keepsa recordof spiritinone.
who has not yet planted
One encourages one
and tend to it
as life grows by
for the fullest
for one and others
to circle backto it,in connection ofSpirit.
This is one’s online version,
but one now encouragesone’s self
to start another
in this same postin thefuture.Perhaps it will exposetoo much of one’s soul,
but so what,
it is the only
oneto share with others,
and harder to losewhen there is
It’s Good to Hear 🙂
One finds a thick
by the Alan Parsons Project
“One day you are going to walk in
here, find the baby sitting on the side of the crib
smoking a cigarette.”
“BTW, the other F still smokes at 81.
Cannot do it; the extra dopamine makes
one’s world spin”…
‘circa mid 60’s’
“Please don’t cry.”
“It is his nature.”
Things the last child picked on
Sports Teams, who has trouble
Coherently Speaking, and
is mistaken for female by
a Cashier at McDonalds’ in
their teens expects to hear, by
various people over the course
of decades, thereafter:
“We’ve got your back.”
Great Aunt J:
“What is the Root
of the Problem?”
Second Cousin F:
“All there is, is change.”
D from Work:
‘circa late 80’s’
“Your Brain works like
R from Work:
‘circa mid 90’s’
T from Work:
‘circa mid 2000’s’
“I know how you operate.”
“I don’t think she means
Friend O from Work:
“I knew this was coming.
I hope you get to come back.”
‘circa late 70’s’
“I try to step back
from the situation.”
Another Friend P:
‘circa early 80’s’
“It’s scary. You were always
the one that had it together.
If it can happen to you, it
can happen to anyone.”
Another T from Work:
“You always took good
care of yourself.
I didn’t expect this to happen.”
E from Work:
“If only I had understood
you were under that much stress.”
‘circa early 2010’s’
“I believe. I want to
stay in the game.”
“I believe. I want to
stay in the game and
see my mother again.”
but sorry one is
not ‘military material’.”
“Hey, what you say?”
‘girl friend’ M:
“tear in eye across a
table before a ‘Prom'”
me asking what’s wrong?
“You scare me when you look
“Hmm, wonder why she
asked one to go to the Prom…
finding out later it was to make
a ‘boy friend’ jealous, but it
didn’t bother one because
going was good enough.”
F of ‘girl friend’ M:
‘circa early 80’s’
A Sketch, a Song, a Story, is no longer enough.
There are no Mountains or Deserts for Inspiration.
The most empathic
person one has met
in life outside
She would have to be,
to live with one.
She will never fully understand
one and she will never know
the full extent of what she means
to one, but that is part of the
lives in Life.
The first part is
her ‘hell’, the second
part is hers and one.
The ‘K’ is a most beautiful
letter. It represents a
‘perfect’ balance of
It is an
so is her
I can only
world I am
locked out of.
“I can feel the energy of
your hand above my leg.”
“How can she do that! ?”
“Walking around the
block with K;
stuck in the on
position for 2 years;
perception of time,
“Oh, that was so weird;
it feels like time just slowed
“How did she know that?!”
me talking now:
it is over five
This Entire Blog is
in more ways
If one needs reference,
a keyword search by Google for
Katie Mia, Aghogday,
brings up abundant
For anyone reading my posts up to this point, and are wondering if I am losing my mind. While I do not consider myself to own it, I can still find it in the tapestry of words.
It is not likely that many people can find half the tapestry I can, because synchronicity is a culturally influenced principle, heavily influenced by each person’s life experience.
In effect, the Acausal connecting principle synchronicity is ‘God’, ‘the ONE’, or if one wants to call it the ‘Milky Way’, ‘winking’ back at them.
One can observe it and smile, or one can observe it and become paranoid.
Logic is an excellent tool to control ‘the beast’ of synchronicity for those who are born extremely sensitive to dopamine, with an extreme rote memory, seeing patterns everywhere they look in life.
Extreme pattern recognition is a source of potential unusual expression of what people describe as intelligence or it can potentially result in chaos.
Logic controls the ‘beast’ of synchronicity.
John Nash is an excellent example. There is a question of whether he was Autistic or Schizophrenic. He did not experience the type of break from reality that the movie described in a ‘hyperbolic’ way.
He is a prodigy in math and pattern recognition.
The patterns got the best of him, when he got out of school, and there was no structured focus to tame the ‘beast’ of synchronicity. He found a ‘beast’ in magazine articles after that point.
In ‘perfect’ Metaphor, the last unintended ‘play on words and symbols’, in my blog post was the ‘he’ and the ‘!!’, put together with the Ha and the !, as I could not decide whether to say ‘He! He!’ or ‘Ha! Ha!’.
It was my ‘little pleasure’ of finding the meaning out of the word ‘pest’ I found in the ‘word salad’ I ‘randomly’ created out of Tapestry.
‘Smiley-cons’, or whatever other emotional device in words or symbols people use in emotionally connecting with others, are in effect, sale ads for words.
I did not notice the ‘he’ pest in ‘he!!” which looks like ‘hell’ and the winking smiley icon, I used to express my humor, until well after the ‘affect’ of my literal observation in the word ‘tapestry’, as an emotional ‘sale ad in words’ to connect with others.
I am not only fascinated by Synchronicity I have been haunted by it, most of my life, in my little home town that once held the title of having the ‘most’ churches per square mile of any city in the US.
I did not see it documented and if it was, at this point, the city is much larger, and the focus on Church is no longer nearly as strong, but still a powerful force of positivity, along with the folks yelling at intersections waving books.
I was raised a Catholic. It is a peaceful church with little ‘fire’ and ‘brimstone’. Some of the churches in my locality are a little ‘scary’ to enter.
There are many people in my area focused on the ‘devil’, instead of ‘good news’.
My divine comedy of Synchronicity started at birth, when the Doctor decided to go on vacation, and induce labor with ‘oxytocin’ two weeks early on 60660.
It could be part of why I have a little problem ‘connecting’ with people in an ‘oxytocin’ way.
I will not rule out the potential Autism/‘Oxytocin’ correlation in inducing labor.
It was not so bad in my town, until the movie ‘Omen’ came out, and I started purchasing beer and was carded at the Grocery store.
In that context, in my town, unfortunately ‘or fortunately’, I was carded until after age 40. My spouse finds one carded after 40, too.
Some people were literally afraid of my driver’s license.
Oh, what a divine comedy synchronicity is.
(digression) There is an interesting new finding in research that people on the spectrum along with having androgynous features, also have a delay in the decline of growth hormones associated with aging. The link is in my posts about androgyny and the spectrum. (off digression)
Some people were literally scared to talk to me, when they found out my birth date, in effect, because the Doctor decided to go on vacation, per synchronistic event in life.
In this case, it was ‘synchronistically’ meaningful to cashiers as something to be ‘paranoid’ about, because of religious beliefs.
I love the way the ‘6’ looks, as it reminds me of the Nautilus Shell, the Hurricane, the Fetus, the ‘Curled Cat’, the ‘Milky Way’ and the ‘Ducky Way’.
I am ‘proud’ to celebrate that coincidence or ‘synchronicity’ in the literal beauty of symbols in my birthday.
Unfortunately, other people saw the devil in it, instead of beauty.
My mother’s name is ‘Hel-en’, which is a beautiful name, even if a future name would sound much like ‘name hell’ spelled backwards. I could start getting paranoid at this point, too, but I continue to remember the beauty of the Milky Way, Hurricanes, Galaxies, etc…
I was born 6 Lbs 5 ounces. One more ounce and I would have hit the bingo of Nautilus symbol of life. I also love 3’s and patterns in life associated with threes.
There is three 6’s in my birthday, three Nautilus shells in symbol of my College in three degrees hanging above my head in my bedroom, along with graduating from college together with my sister and mother as three in 1983.
I thought it was cool that I started the idea for this Blog on 3/1/13, started the Nature photos Blog on 3/13/13, and finishing what I see as the final product of this blog on 6/6/13. Additionally, finishing what I thought were the final touches on 6/9/13.
That was 101 days.
Did I mention I love ‘One’ and 1’s… 🙂
I suppose 911 is unusually alarming.
35:15 was from my post on aUtIsM. The meaning my mind assigns is the 53 of age and the number of posts at 51 at the point in time, this post was posted, in what I saw as a type of ‘grand’ finale of ideas, at 53,51.
However, ‘the show’ must go on…
(digression) Human beings do not get to ‘retire’ and ‘live’. It is not part of animal nature.
It is a construct invented by culture, at most.
However, they can re-create, in finding new ‘tires’ to travel. (off digression)
If one noticed all the ‘strange’ numbers in the label of this blog post it is an expression of the beauty of synchronicity.
I could probably write a novel based on all the other ‘beautiful’ synchronicities I see in this post and it is already in the over five million words I have written about the rest of life and beauty of synchronicity described in those words elsewhere on the internet.
This blog expresses the ‘beauty’ that is ‘my’ mind, even if ‘it’ belongs to ‘others more’ than ‘me’.
What I mean by that is I adapted to life, with Hyperlexia, by copying what I saw around me.
the word of one
It does not matter
who is speaking,
is a Universe
I am so happy
a fuller part
as I was limited
earlier in life.
comfortin a placeto stay.One’s
oneinSynchronicity.If there is
Boy,there isno spiritinOne.
(Choose any Song)
One finds separation from ‘the world’
as close to connecting to reality as one sees.
One is hoping to find and connect to emotions
somewhere online typing five-million words,
but instead, finds one’s soul again.
One visits a fuller place of ‘Katie Mia’, on 90681,
for a few months in successfully escaping a ‘world’ of ‘expectations’.
One finds one again in the Bliss of that place in the moment of the last few days.
One understands the place better now than one did before.
One has the ability to tame the ‘beast’ of synchronicity.
One provided a ‘password’ to help one find it again.
One is not sure ones see value in message.
It brings one pleasure to share one’s soul.
In the last few weeks, one loses track of time;
most of the words are coming from soul.
Along the way, one observes new interesting things,
One struggles with whether technology is ‘good’ or ‘bad’,
but now one more fully understands that it is part of nature too,
if not by design by Synchronicity.
While one understands it is not ‘magic’,
writing in the last several weeks the synchronicities of ‘bugs’ in ‘Blogger’ software ‘forces’ one to keep mistakes providing meaning one does not see in ‘mistakes’ at first.
One corrects the ‘Too’ of one sentence ‘meeting’ the paragraph of another ten times,
in the Yellow Boy Bible poem,
until one finally realizes a deeper meaning is in the ‘mistake’.
It is time winking back at one, whatever, it is.
One cannot help but to think the ‘evil’ 666 of endless death
provides deeper message delivered in ‘subconscious’ mind of ‘whoever’ wrote that
from a pattern of life, instead of death.
It is an ‘ultimate divine’ comedy of One.
It is also an ‘ultimate’ divine comedy of life,
as the coincidence of ‘meaningless’ symbol of birth,
is a symbol of the pattern of life, unity, and ‘onever’ one wants to call it
that one attempts to deliver as a metaphor for someone coming across it randomly in a Google search.
Each moment is still a challenge,
and there are ‘tiny keystrokes’ making a whole in the message that one does not plan.
Stepping back one sees the beauty of Synchronicity and smiles as wide as a Universe, in mind,
to be able to paint it in a way someone might find.
One’s cousin plays a role in bands across life.
The way Jeff Lynne moves in graceful body language singing and playing guitar,
is eerily reminiscent of one’s cousin.
There is graceful gentle spirit one finds in his video autobiography linked earlier today,
in the second F of Jeff, right after the first J for Jeffersonian Bible
to give credit for stopping by in one’s life, providing ‘Band-Aid’.
The folks more often busy in the background focused on ‘Creation Activity’
instead of raising families.
Perhaps, a type of “Eusocial Primate”
or maybe not
Never the less
hard to forget.
One identifies with how Jesus is portrayed androgynous,
non-conforming to ‘ways’ of the world.
Whoever wrote the story and painted it
is likely set a-part from others.
It is a recurring theme of expression of adversity
in the human spirit,
and other animals.
The ELO ‘Twilight’ song is one’s favorite song of all time.
It touches a place in the Universe of one’s soul,
that only Jeff Lynne has been able to take one.
The Album is ‘Time’.
One ‘suspects’ the ‘moral’ behind the message
is people who do not reproduce
or are seen as different
play a most valuable role,
The expression is unlimited
in edifice of culture
to so many people.
Even the soft tethered structure of Bible
giving Yellow Boy comfort under his paws of life.
How wonderful it is
that one provides the ‘deepest’ message
from one’s comfort of place
looking backing at one.
Synchronicity is One
and the Same.
Thanks for being
and Seven Dayscoming
to an end.
another visit to one’s
mother’s home.Another thick card
one has not opened,
but told is enclosed
with Ten Ones and
One Five.Almost afraid
the most important
thing.Tomorrow is a day
one often forgets,perhaps because
one’s father is distant.There is another child
born with dark hair
instead of blonde,living 51 days,born 5 lbs 4 ounces,on 6/04/97
7/24/97.His name is Ryan,born withan extra digit,tomake six.In asking why,
things,one comes to terms.
It is nature.
Autistic Love Letters
“A Thousand Years”
by Christina Perri
…Language is A Universe of Expression…
It starts with Stars…
Angles In Sand…
Symphony of Science
“We Are All Connected”
“All the World’s a Stage”
Existing Eyes of Universe ONEALLNOWFOREVERMORE ll
Written in the Stone
Katie Mia @KateMiaAghogday 2m
Katie Mia @KateMiaAghogday 2m
In pursuit of own true will too2…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8WNMV18Ol4#at=10 …
Katie Mia @KateMiaAghogday 3m
Let there be Light over Darkness with acceptance of darkness too..without judgement too in passion live light love..